Episode 7 - Fearless Futures: Navigating Business and Life Together

[00:00:00] Fearlessness. It's the underlying grit that empowers you to forge ahead when hope seems distant.

[00:00:06] It's the courage to walk through the fires of hell knowing you'll come out stronger on the other

[00:00:12] side. Stay tuned to learn how to get fearlessness. I'm your host Libby Delucian and today's guest

[00:00:20] is none other than Chris Delucian, my husband, and welcome to the show, Chris. Thank you.

[00:01:21] we can get started. Yeah, so I'm Chris.

[00:01:23] So what I do is I'm actually the CTO of Wootocruit, one of the companies that Libby does own.

[00:01:31] So I am working for her to give you some context.

[00:01:34] Which makes it a little bit more difficult.

[00:01:36] Yep.

[00:01:37] And so we'll play into that.

[00:01:39] But I'm, I guess, me and my core, I am a very modest, by the way, in everything he does. So just name a few of the bands. So some of my most notable would be Kings of Leon. Dan, I were back with the black keys. In Europe, I worked with Nicki Minaj.

[00:03:00] There's some stories there.

[00:03:01] Had about three or four years with One Direction.

[00:03:05] Got to know the boys very well.

[00:03:07] Yeah. Yes. living with just for an entrepreneur to understand themselves alone is a challenge. But, you know, when you're when you're married to someone or when the when your partner or your spouse is the opposite and introvert or not an entrepreneur or a business owner, those can pose some really great

[00:04:21] challenges. So I wanted to share that because this took a little bit for us to learn and our Right. Okay, so this will be taking its step pretty far back then because I know that when we first, you know, met and how we met We were both kind of working as our own Say entrepreneur or our own let's say celebrant or type of environment at the time we met I know that you've done businesses before then

[00:05:44] but

[00:05:45] it wasn't until I would say we

[00:06:43] I lived in hotel rooms for about 80% of the year. And so imagine 80% of the year I was gone from,

[00:06:48] really gone from home life, gone from family.

[00:06:51] And so I think it was during that time when,

[00:06:55] really that was where you were breaking ground.

[00:06:57] I was building, I was up all night working on stuff.

[00:07:00] I had businesses going, he was gone.

[00:07:02] Yeah.

[00:07:03] So I think it was during that time where,

[00:08:04] we used to kind of just always be in the same room together, always kind of spend time together. So you started to have your own thing going on, and that's when I started to realize that,

[00:08:09] you know, I was getting a little bit uncomfortable with, with, I guess, with who you were or,

[00:08:14] I guess, not really familiar with what you had going on separate from what I had.

[00:08:20] So I think it was that point when I started to we had to really make some life adjustments. So I'm going to go into another question. So our daily life. Right take what's three and a half miles, so we take two laps walking. Again, just me, just Libby, a cup of coffee, and our watches, we don't have phones, no distractions,

[00:11:01] it's just us walking.

[00:11:03] At first, it was a little bit getting used to it

[00:11:05] and getting comfortable with it. But it's the consistency of doing something together. And we chose mornings because we have three kids and it's like no matter what we did and three businesses, no matter what I did, it's like something would happen. A kid is sick. Somebody missed the bus. Something's happening with an employee, a customer, something's going on with a

[00:12:21] customer, an update failed in one of the softwares.

[00:12:24] Like you never know. dedicated time where there's no distractions, literally no phones, is that I probably would not feel as connected to you as I feel because I wouldn't be able to hear all the little nuances of what you got going on, breaking ground inside of the company. It's just, it's really interesting. And I think that I've taken a lot of perspectives because of that and feel like I can better connect with you and understand what to do and what. So how, you know, that that's a huge, it could pose a huge challenge. And if they're both driven, that's almost a recipe for like disaster or like a recipe for, you know, it's toxic because two driven people, you could drive each other into the ground.

[00:16:20] But, you know, how do you face living with someone

[00:16:23] who's consistently driven by their business?

[00:16:26] Because I get this too,

[00:16:27] like with a lot of that's the most important, important part. But like I said, there's a lot to unpack there because there's a lot that happened in those

[00:19:00] 14 years, which again, there's different progress through more of the years, again, I started to become, you know, towards the peak of my career. That's when I started to travel a lot about 80% of the year. That's when you were just getting I was trying to find myself because I was trying to get out of my own audio career to get back home with the kids. And through all that, I had to sacrifice being the breadwinner at one point, giving up being on the road to then learn how so for a man's perspective, that's really difficult. And then me also not being, let's say, as driven of an entrepreneur, because I read a ton of books. I love to learn, but at one of those was letting go of the idea that I was supposed to be the man of the household, but I now learning about it. I had it completely wrong. So I had to let it go of a lot of stigma, a lot of different having that raw input of receiving what the other person is thinking without any filters. I think that was can think of that also helped me to get rid of a lot of the habits that I had hard set, which

[00:25:43] was all about being an introvert, about always some reason why we want to do something. But I would say that just reading that book, the courage to be disliked, was super, super helpful because it helped me to also frame my mind to say, look, it's not all about me or

[00:27:01] these feelings that I have, but it's more about and I'll say something that's like, you know, very girly. And I'm like, I don't want her to stereotype herself. And so we tend to do that to our own kids. And so I think just, you know, breaking that thought process of you have to,? Oh, I don't care. Uh, but the, the, what I had on my background, I wish I had it right now, but, um, I put a, I put a statement on there that said, be a fucking man. Um, and this is so counter to what I remember growing up as to what a man was.

[00:29:46] Um, because when you, when you first hear that, you think, to go to marriage counseling. He goes, I owe so much to my wife. She's put up with me for so many years. I was a fat son, Bob, he said. And he's gotten himself together. Like he's like his best 1% and he goes, no, I wanna work on it now. Why wait until it goes wrong? Let's work on it now. And I thought that was like the best thing I'd ever heard.

[00:31:01] Because typically we wait until it goes wrong.

[00:31:03] And that's like an ultramatum or last resort

[00:31:06] is that we need to go to marriage counseling. I'd be there as this other person. And there were times when I just, I felt like, oh my God, why am I here? It's just, there's, there's no part from me here. You know, just, just this feeling of like, you know, what's going on. But, um, I, I started to really just kind of figure out that I had a different

[00:32:21] role to play.

[00:32:23] And I was more than happy to let go of the reins of that other part of it.

[00:33:24] challenge for relationships, especially with the, say like the grit. I feel like there's two things that happen I see or that we've experienced or that I see

[00:33:31] in coaching other business owners is either the other person in the relationship feels

[00:33:36] like they don't understand why the other person has so much grits.

[00:33:40] Like why are you spending $12,000 on a course?

[00:33:42] Or they feel like they have to keep up with that person.

[00:33:46] Yeah. happen because I can't fake wanting to do it. But I want to emphasize one thing is that it's not that I don't want to do it, but it's just I learned that it's okay to I can keep up. And that just started to see doubt. And again, the whole questioning of who am I, who should I be and can I be that person that you want me to be,

[00:36:20] which at the time was a completely wrong way to think about it.

[00:36:24] Yeah.

[00:36:25] Because after learning about it, you just wanted me to be myself. His love languages were the complete opposite of mine. And once you see that, then you kind of can understand why people don't feel or the connection or they don't understand why you're, they don't understand why they, that it's kind of like that feeling of like, why don't you love me or care about me no more or why don't you showing me attention?

[00:37:40] But in reality, you are showing them attention,

[00:37:42] but it's the wrong kind and he's found like that calling. And so let's talk about work now with work like balance, you know, do you feel that your work life balance is affected by, you know, my entrepreneur endeavors?

[00:39:05] And how do you manage it?

[00:39:08] So before we go any further. So I would honestly say that we have a fantastic work-life balance. And I want to explain that. Because at first glance, you're like, what the hell you talking about? No, I'm not. No, I know. But just in seeing what we do and how much we work

[00:40:20] and from the outside eyes, they would say,

[00:40:22] you guys don't do anything but work.

[00:40:24] But this is what work part of it. Yes. And if you stay till the end, I do have the perfect week training.

[00:41:43] It's actually a Dan Martell concept training as a gift for you guys.

[00:41:44] We'll have the link attached in the show notes.

[00:41:46] Yes.

[00:42:43] and Cameron Harold, you know, those people work. They hustle.

[00:42:44] And there's a quote that, you know, Dan Martell,

[00:42:48] he's, I have him as a personal mentor,

[00:42:50] and he says this all the time

[00:42:53] about building an empire.

[00:42:56] He says, for me, an empire, a legacy,

[00:42:59] building an empire for me is building a business

[00:43:03] that I never have to retire from,

[00:43:05] or I never want to retire from.

[00:43:08] And so I feel like that's what we're doing Don't get too caught up in what it is or judging, you know, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Just do what makes you happy or what works for your marriage or your relationship or your partnership. So I'd love to add to that because it's, again, you know, it's literally closed the laptop once that I have alarms set on my phone, once those alarms hit, closed the laptop, it's done. But that being said is off of that, there's also the element of play,

[00:45:40] which is the projects.

[00:45:43] I never work on the day-to-day

[00:45:47] or never work on what I would and beyond certain times of the day. And they just do. Yeah. And when you said one thing here, and it's work more, again, and, and, and, and lineage, your concept, uh, that, that what you talk about with, with time being finite, it's not that you work more, but it's that you work differently at a highest capacity and also what will affect our capacity to work. But, you know, creating those things, maybe I don't work more, I work. And I think maybe that's why a lot of relationships, when I hear that, you know, a spouse is coming into a company to help, and I think that's great. And I've seen so many people comment on Facebook, like, don't do it.

[00:48:22] It's the worst thing ever.

[00:48:23] I love working with family.

[00:48:25] Chris works in Wood recruit.

[00:48:26] My son does the marketing for organize it. I learned that I can't just because you're here or just because we're married and let's say we're working from home. I can't just pop in here and be like, oh, hey, I'm working on this. Because again, your head space is entirely different in terms of the level that you need to work at, not the amount of time that you're working.

[00:49:42] So there's again, understanding in patients plays a monster. Can you share a funny moment?

[00:51:03] You're gonna have to help me out with this because I think there's there's a lot of funny moments

[00:52:01] And I was like, oh, is this your son?

[00:52:03] Yeah.

[00:52:05] So eventually you're going to start to look old, Chris.

[00:52:06] Yeah.

[00:52:12] So that's a running joke, but yeah, yeah, that poor Chris gets that pretty often.

[00:52:17] It was a big, it was, it was more often when we first were together, but

[00:52:18] you're getting older. It's OK.

[00:52:19] Yeah.

[00:52:20] I mean, at some point I just, I got used to it.

[00:52:22] Honestly, I started to lean into it.

[00:52:24] I started to play around and have fun.

[00:52:27] OK. paths, but on the same level of sharing in that, that big vision, the aspirational, you know, entrepreneurial spirit. I think that's what I'm most excited about. Yeah, me too. I would say my concerns, for me, concerns are just making sure that I keep myself

[00:53:41] and check. Because, you know, as most So what's next for you, Chris? Helping to build an empire, awesome. So I wanna thank you guys for listening to our podcast. Again, I'm Libby Delucian with Fearlessness.

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