Episode 36 - Embracing Resilience in Life and Business with Teresa McConnell

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it is Libby with Fearlessness. What is fearlessness? Well, it's that underlying grit that we have as entrepreneurs to forge ahead. Even when hope seems distant, it's the courage to walk through those fires of hell knowing that you're going to come out not just stronger on the other side, but better. Stay tuned and learn how to get fearlessness. I'm your host, Libby DeLucien, and today's guest is Teresa. Teresa, why don't you introduce yourself? Tell us what you do, where you're at, how you're at, how you're at.

[00:00:30] How long you been in business? 15 years. That's a long time, Teresa. And she comes from my neck of the woods. Oh, it's okay. I'm from Oklahoma, so you're not too far from my hometown in Hugo, which is about two hours south. And Teresa and I met, if it lags a little bit, Teresa, don't worry. It's recording in high definition, so no worries if it lags a little bit. Teresa and I met in CBF, so we're both residential.

[00:01:15] Cleaning business owners. So Teresa, I want to hear from you. Why did you get into home services? Why did you get into cleaning?

[00:01:26] The reason I started employable. So I had a friend who I had neck surgery that needed some help in the house, was mostly hanging out with her, then it turned into cleaning. It just started organically.

[00:01:57] I love that story. Many of us in home service, even in entrepreneurism, start out of a place of need, desperation, necessity.

[00:02:07] You know, I started mine from a divorce. Because if I got a job, he was going to use a job against me to take the kids away. And I started working under the table, like working for somebody, like a friend, and working on the side so that I could make enough money to just really survive at the beginning.

[00:02:28] So I love to hear that story, because it's amazing what we do in times of desperation.

[00:02:34] Absolutely. I was living in a sober house at the time, and I had to go to some anonymous meetings, and I had to pay rent, and I had to get a job. And it was just awesome that it came along at the time.

[00:02:48] I love that. So our cleaning company here in Fort Myers, we actually clean a couple sober houses, women's sober houses.

[00:02:56] We started cleaning the owner's house, and then her goal was to create these houses, because she went through the same thing.

[00:03:04] And she has a handful of them here in Fort Myers, and we clean them for free.

[00:03:08] Right. That's awesome.

[00:03:10] Because they help women.

[00:03:11] Thank you.

[00:03:13] They help women get back on their feet. Like if they've gone through an addiction process or divorce or issues, we all go through hard times in life.

[00:03:21] If you don't think that we don't, we may look like we have it together, but there were times where we didn't.

[00:03:29] And the only reason we have it together now is because we learn the hard way.

[00:03:33] Oh, heck, I am not the same person now that I was 16 years ago.

[00:03:37] So, yeah.

[00:03:38] Let's talk about that.

[00:03:40] Okay.

[00:03:41] I want to learn more about that transformation.

[00:03:45] What do you think, like, what were the biggest things that you felt that you had to do to kind of keep up with the company?

[00:03:52] Just tell us about that journey.

[00:03:54] So the company now, can I tell you real quick how I got to here?

[00:03:59] Yeah.

[00:03:59] So I was cleaning this lady's house, and she had like 10 dogs and 13 cats.

[00:04:05] And I probably spent like six years cleaning her house for three hours a day at $12 an hour.

[00:04:13] And then some people found out I was doing that, and they started asking me to clean their house.

[00:04:18] And the company just grew and, you know, just grew.

[00:04:24] After a while, I realized that I needed some help because it was getting too much for me.

[00:04:29] And I brought in some contractors, 1099 contractors, and I never could get anybody to clean exactly the way I did.

[00:04:40] So I had two 1099 contractors who were able to do what I did.

[00:04:45] But all I knew how to do was clean.

[00:04:48] I didn't know how to run a business.

[00:04:50] I had no clue where to go from here.

[00:04:52] And I kept seeing that CBL, Cleaning Business Fundamentals, you know, I know you're part of that too, come up on my Facebook.

[00:04:59] And one day I just, I called Debbie and she told me, she said, Teresa, you can't afford this.

[00:05:05] And I said, I can't afford not to be a part of that.

[00:05:08] And that's when we became level up clean.

[00:05:12] I love that.

[00:05:14] Somebody asked the other day in social media, you know, what's, like, how fast can I get back my investment?

[00:05:21] They were joining, they were looking for feedback on joining a peer, a mastermind.

[00:05:25] It might even be in CBF.

[00:05:27] And my response is like, what is it going to cost you not to join?

[00:05:33] Exactly.

[00:05:35] Exactly.

[00:05:36] And I love that.

[00:05:37] I was looking forward, of course, to learn how to make more money, but I was learning how to have a peace of mind.

[00:05:43] I was absolutely pulling my hair out because I didn't know what I didn't know.

[00:05:48] And the more I've been in CBF and been around people like you, there's so much I don't know.

[00:05:54] And I'm so excited to be learning all of this.

[00:05:58] I love that.

[00:06:00] So let's talk on the fearlessness side.

[00:06:03] Some of the things that may be a little bit harder, but there are lessons, right?

[00:06:07] We appreciate those lessons.

[00:06:09] Oh, yeah.

[00:06:10] So like, I appreciate them.

[00:06:12] I mean, I don't know about you, but I even appreciate my past.

[00:06:19] And I know that's really hard to swallow for some people.

[00:06:23] Because if I wouldn't have went through the stuff I went through, I would not be the person I am today.

[00:06:30] Like, maybe I wouldn't even know Teresa.

[00:06:32] Like, maybe I wouldn't even have met my husband.

[00:06:34] And so I am so appreciative of just taking my past and being able to learn from it.

[00:06:40] And so when it comes to business, you know, for you, what was the hardest part?

[00:06:47] You got into it a little bit.

[00:06:48] But what was the hardest part?

[00:06:51] One, being unemployable.

[00:06:53] And then...

[00:06:54] The hardest part of being unemployable is obviously I couldn't go find a job doing anything except for waiting tables.

[00:07:02] And with, you know, being an alcoholic, that's not an ideal job.

[00:07:06] You're trying to get sober.

[00:07:08] So there was the going into people's houses and cleaning their houses.

[00:07:12] And I'm not insured.

[00:07:14] And no one ever asked, do you have a past?

[00:07:19] Oh, my gosh.

[00:07:20] What if they found out I did?

[00:07:22] And would it absolutely destroy me?

[00:07:25] I remember that fear.

[00:07:26] Always wondering, what if they found out who I really was?

[00:07:31] But the 12-step program I'm in, a lot of those people knew who I was.

[00:07:35] They knew my whole story.

[00:07:36] They built me.

[00:07:37] Those were my first clients.

[00:07:39] And I found the more I was honest about who I am, the more my clients felt honest about being who they were.

[00:07:46] And I think it gives me some empathy for, you know, for people and what they're going through.

[00:07:52] I love that story.

[00:07:54] I didn't share mine for a long time because I was ashamed of like, they're like, oh, you know, how could she let that happen to her?

[00:08:03] You know, you're scared of what you think other people are going to say or think.

[00:08:07] Exactly.

[00:08:09] I like that story because you said the more I shared, like the more I grew, the more business I got, the more people were willing to open up.

[00:08:19] Correct.

[00:08:22] And it has a lot to do with empathy, I think.

[00:08:25] But it also, it's because it makes us, or it makes you, Teresa, more relatable.

[00:08:30] Right.

[00:08:31] Exactly.

[00:08:32] Relatable.

[00:08:32] Yes.

[00:08:33] You're relatable.

[00:08:34] You're not untouchable.

[00:08:36] Like, you know, when I first started coaching for Debbie, as a great example, is I thought like, oh, I had to be perfect.

[00:08:41] Like, no one could know anything about me.

[00:08:44] And then you're soon like, well, nobody likes the girl that's perfect.

[00:08:47] That's the cheerleader that none of us like, that, you know, she's too perfect.

[00:08:52] And also, I found myself not growing personally because I wasn't sharing.

[00:08:59] I wasn't being honest and I wasn't helping.

[00:09:02] It's not that I was lying.

[00:09:03] I just was keeping that from people.

[00:09:05] Right.

[00:09:05] Exactly.

[00:09:06] Right.

[00:09:07] And I went through this exercise, and I don't know if you've ever been through it.

[00:09:12] It's Reiki breathing.

[00:09:14] Like, you go through it with a Reiki coach.

[00:09:16] It's a breathing exercise.

[00:09:18] I went through it with a bunch of guys.

[00:09:20] I was in a male.

[00:09:23] It's not male, but I was in a SaaS group, a software group.

[00:09:27] And it's mostly men.

[00:09:29] At that time, I was the only girl there.

[00:09:31] And we went through this exercise.

[00:09:32] And by the time we were done, like, we were all crying together and, like, hugging each other.

[00:09:38] But that was, like, the moment of I had of saying, like, I have to share this and I have to talk about it or I'm not going to grow.

[00:09:47] Like, I'm going to be stuck here forever.

[00:09:49] I totally agree with that.

[00:10:55] So, yeah.

[00:11:06] I'm going to be a closer team with your staff.

[00:11:23] Those are superpowers that, for the longest time, for the longest time, I avoided.

[00:11:29] Because, again, I was too scared of what I thought I was supposed to act a certain way or do a certain thing or what people are going to say about me.

[00:11:38] Instead of leaning into those superpowers.

[00:11:42] Yes.

[00:11:42] Yes.

[00:11:43] So, Teresa, as far as that journey of growing.

[00:11:46] So, after you created Level Up and now you've been growing.

[00:11:51] Yes.

[00:11:51] What's been the biggest challenge for you to grow as the owner, as an entrepreneur?

[00:11:58] I think the biggest challenge for me is stepping into the leadership role and not being everybody's friend.

[00:12:05] I think that was the hardest thing for me.

[00:12:07] Like, I would make a policy and I'd go, that's okay with everyone else.

[00:12:10] And I don't do that anymore.

[00:12:13] I say, this is our, this is what we're going to do and this is how we're going to move forward.

[00:12:17] I mean, I always accept input.

[00:12:20] But at the end of the day, I'm the boss.

[00:12:22] I'm going to make the decision.

[00:12:24] Where we're going to go with this company.

[00:12:27] Love it.

[00:12:29] I think that was, for me, that was a hard phase as well.

[00:12:34] I think, so the owner to, you know, for all of our listeners, there are phases that you, you, the owner, have to go through to get your business to the next level.

[00:12:47] Like, to level up.

[00:12:50] And I think they're pretty, they coincide with like number of employees or revenue, right?

[00:12:57] So it's like at 250,000, at a half a million, at 750, at a million, at a million and a half.

[00:13:04] When I look back and look at who I was, I'm a totally different person through every one of those phases.

[00:13:14] And it's okay.

[00:13:16] But what's not okay is that we have to grow faster.

[00:13:20] We, we have to grow faster than the company or we're stalling the growth.

[00:13:26] Right, right.

[00:13:28] You can spend all the money you want in marketing.

[00:13:30] You can spend all the money you want in recruiting.

[00:13:35] But one of, I had a great mentor.

[00:13:37] He's such a great guy.

[00:13:39] He said, if you want to hit this goal, he looked at my goals.

[00:13:42] He goes, you're the problem.

[00:13:44] I'm like, you don't even look at my company.

[00:13:45] How are you telling me I'm the problem?

[00:13:46] He goes, because the speed of growth that you need to achieve is going to be difficult.

[00:13:52] The company's easy.

[00:13:53] You just put more money in marketing, right?

[00:13:55] You hire more people.

[00:13:56] It's an engine.

[00:13:57] But if you can't manage and you can't lead, which takes personal growth, you're not going to achieve it.

[00:14:02] The company will outgrow you and you will stagnate it.

[00:14:06] Yes.

[00:14:07] And for me, that like changed everything.

[00:14:09] After that, I was like, oh my God, like I got to take myself serious.

[00:14:15] When before, and even some days, I don't know, do you get this, Teresa, where you wake up and you're like, oh my God, I'm responsible for people and their families and their kids.

[00:14:23] Yes.

[00:14:25] I'm like, it can be.

[00:14:29] Yes.

[00:14:30] Yes.

[00:14:30] You're like, oh my God.

[00:14:31] What?

[00:14:32] Do they really know that I know that I don't know what I'm doing sometimes?

[00:14:35] Shh.

[00:15:05] May and April numbers.

[00:15:07] So it was down because I wasn't hiring.

[00:15:10] But I've started hiring and we have nine cleaners right now.

[00:15:15] And we're nice.

[00:15:16] It's 50 mark, but it's, I'm comfortable in that two 53 mark with five, six texts.

[00:15:27] This is a whole different thing.

[00:15:29] And I'm looking at the schedule and I can't count anymore to see, well, there's five.

[00:15:34] We just need one more for six.

[00:15:36] There's more.

[00:15:36] And I know it's going to, like you said, this company's done grow.

[00:15:40] What do I got to do to get out of my comfort zone?

[00:15:44] Yeah.

[00:15:44] I like my comfort zone.

[00:15:46] And it's scary to step outside of it.

[00:15:49] Well, that great mentor that I had, he had mentioned, and I cannot rename, I cannot remember

[00:15:56] the name of the book.

[00:15:56] It's been a few years.

[00:15:57] I don't even have the book, but I did read it.

[00:15:59] My books are up here.

[00:16:00] That's why I'm always looking up.

[00:16:03] And it was a book about being intentional about your size, right?

[00:16:11] About the size of company you are keeping.

[00:16:14] And so, because when you own multiple ventures, so I have Woot Recruit, I've organized it.

[00:16:21] We have a couple of locations.

[00:16:21] I have another software service cart.

[00:16:24] But when you own multiple ventures, something is going to take a backseat.

[00:16:29] You can't put 100% of you towards everything.

[00:16:32] It just is not going to happen.

[00:16:35] And so, when I looked at that and he had said, you know, he recommended this book and I read

[00:16:41] it or I listened to it on Audible.

[00:16:42] It was great.

[00:16:43] I can't remember the name.

[00:16:44] If I remember it, I'll drop it in the show notes when we publish this.

[00:16:47] But it was about being intentional with the company size you chose.

[00:16:55] Like, hey, I love a million dollar company.

[00:16:58] I figured out how to get 25% profit.

[00:17:01] It's stable.

[00:17:02] Here's what we have to do to grow it.

[00:17:04] I'm going to keep it here because I can idle that while I go work on this.

[00:17:07] Right.

[00:17:09] Because I would like to say that you don't always have to be growing.

[00:17:16] It's like, what do we want in life?

[00:17:18] Like, we always want to achieve something.

[00:17:21] But is the cleaning company our vehicle to get us to the next mountain, to the next thing?

[00:17:27] Right.

[00:17:29] I'm working on a new logo for the Libby DeLucian brand because I'm coming out with a book and

[00:17:33] we're starting another software that's going to be around playbooks and scaling business

[00:17:38] businesses.

[00:17:40] So I'm working on my new logo and it's three mountains because we get to the mountain.

[00:17:45] Like, we said, oh, I want to be a half a million dollar company.

[00:17:48] And we get to the top of that mountain and we kind of look around and we're like, well,

[00:17:52] that didn't feel what I thought it was.

[00:17:55] Like, I'm still not fulfilled.

[00:17:56] And you look over and you're like, oh, a million dollars.

[00:17:58] That will make me happy.

[00:18:00] We get to the top of that mountain.

[00:18:01] We get there and we're kind of like, eh.

[00:18:04] Like, I remember when I reached my first million with the cleaning company, I didn't even stop.

[00:18:08] If it wasn't for Debbie giving us a green jacket, I didn't even stop to recognize it.

[00:18:13] When we recruit made its first million, I had a fractional COO and he goes, you should celebrate.

[00:18:20] This is a huge milestone.

[00:18:22] And I'm like, let's just keep going.

[00:18:26] Like, I got work to do.

[00:18:27] And he's like, no, you need to acknowledge it.

[00:18:31] And I didn't even stop to acknowledge it.

[00:18:36] But then there's that third mountain, right?

[00:18:39] It's that why are we here?

[00:18:42] And some people say that that third mountain is the person we needed most in our darkest moment.

[00:18:49] Right?

[00:18:51] And that's why I have slowly come over to really helping people, women in business or women with a past.

[00:19:01] That it doesn't have to define them.

[00:19:04] It's not who they are, right?

[00:19:06] If anything, it makes us stronger and more resilient.

[00:19:08] Because when we're dealt with something hard in business and you look at what you dealt with in the past,

[00:19:13] you're kind of like, oh, that's a piece of cake.

[00:19:16] Um, and what I've noticed is our first one or two ventures are the vehicles that help us get to the third mountain, right?

[00:19:24] Maybe the cleaning company can serve, um, um, you know, clean those houses for women that are in recovery.

[00:19:33] Maybe it's the vehicle to give me the time freedom that I need to get to the third mountain.

[00:19:37] Or the money you need to donate to the thing that's your third mountain.

[00:19:41] Whether it's, you need money, freedom, time, freedom.

[00:19:45] Um, there's another freedom, money, freedom, time, freedom.

[00:19:48] I don't remember the third one.

[00:19:50] Um, but it's so interesting, like to hear the phases that you went through.

[00:19:58] And I want to hear what's the next phase for you.

[00:20:06] I, so just so you know, I, I, I'm not a revenue chaser.

[00:20:12] I'm not, I'm not like, oh my gosh, I'm going to make it to million.

[00:20:16] But I am, I am, I did reach that third level.

[00:20:19] Um, Dan Platt has said something of basically kind of like what you just said.

[00:20:25] When you get that million, then what?

[00:20:27] I mean, what is the why behind what you're doing?

[00:20:30] Am I there?

[00:20:31] I know I'm not answering your question.

[00:20:33] I promise I'll come back to it.

[00:20:34] And my therapist asked me one time, she said, Teresa, do you realize how far you've come?

[00:20:40] Do you give yourself permission to just sit and realize that?

[00:20:45] I want to go, yes, sure.

[00:20:46] She goes, no.

[00:20:47] Do you realize how far you have come?

[00:20:51] Do you realize that you're worthy of this, that you've done it?

[00:20:55] And no.

[00:20:57] Do I sit with it and look back and go, no, I don't.

[00:21:01] And, and I think we should, I think we should stop.

[00:21:04] And like you said, celebrate.

[00:21:06] Right.

[00:21:07] I still have that issue, Teresa.

[00:21:10] Um, it comes from so much emotional.

[00:21:12] You are a superwoman.

[00:21:13] Go, go, go.

[00:21:14] Yeah.

[00:21:15] But it comes from my past, like that emotional neglect that I had that nothing is good enough.

[00:21:21] And I'm constantly trying to make it good enough.

[00:21:26] And, uh, you know, it's exhausting one, but I do think that I'm, I'm just now coming to the, it's okay to make money.

[00:21:39] Cause I wasn't a revenue chaser either.

[00:21:40] Like I want to provide good jobs and I just want to take care of my kids.

[00:21:43] Like, um, but at the end of the day, we need that revenue to get to the third mountain and the third mountain.

[00:21:50] Yes, we did.

[00:21:51] Yes, we did.

[00:21:51] The third mountain is why we're here.

[00:21:54] It's helping others.

[00:21:55] It's the greater purpose kind of, of what we're here to do.

[00:22:00] So art's doing art's doing that thing.

[00:22:03] What happens?

[00:22:04] What's next?

[00:22:05] What happens next?

[00:22:06] Like get yourselves good.

[00:22:07] Get this good.

[00:22:08] And the top one is what is my purpose?

[00:22:10] What, you know, legacy building that legacy and, and what am I trying to fulfill?

[00:22:17] I, I will tell everybody all day long.

[00:22:19] So what is your why?

[00:22:21] And my why is honestly, I want my grandkids and my kids to remember me as somebody besides Teresa who messed up so much.

[00:22:31] Um, that I'm pulling us through, you know, generational, uh, poverty and all of that kind of stuff.

[00:22:37] But Libby, I want to do this through to myself.

[00:22:40] I can't because I don't, I've never thought I would be capable of being a boss, much less a business this size that I know.

[00:22:50] And, you know, it's just, it's going to go bigger.

[00:22:53] It scares me a little bit.

[00:22:55] But so, well, I, I, I, I think because it's so important to me, I, it's, it's okay if I fail here and there, because I know that's where the lessons are.

[00:23:05] But I don't want to fail.

[00:23:06] I don't want to screw up.

[00:23:08] So the next thing for me is, is, is to keep learning and keep reaching out to see how big this can get.

[00:23:19] But that's egotistical, I think a little bit, but how big can this really go?

[00:23:24] How much is in me?

[00:23:26] Yeah.

[00:23:27] And that's great.

[00:23:29] I want to talk about legacy.

[00:23:31] And, um, I have a perspective on legacy because you, you had said something.

[00:23:36] You had said you don't want to leave your kids, your grandkids, or you want to leave your kids or your grandkids with.

[00:23:43] Good memory.

[00:23:43] You know, the fast, with a memory.

[00:23:46] But my perspective on legacy, and this comes from Dan Martell, because he's one of my coaches and his, he's drilled this into our heads.

[00:23:55] Um, legacy is creating a life that you live now.

[00:24:01] Right.

[00:24:02] It's a life that you live now that you never want to retire from.

[00:24:07] So it's living those moments now.

[00:24:10] So, you know, instead of saying, I want to leave my kids, I want to leave my grandkids with this, that, or money or whatever, or I want to be known as X, Y, and Z.

[00:24:21] When I pass away, why don't be known for it now?

[00:24:23] Now.

[00:24:25] Live it now.

[00:24:26] Create a job you never want to retire from.

[00:24:29] Because, uh, Chris's dad, my husband's dad is a great example.

[00:24:32] One of the most smartest, nicest men I've ever met in my life.

[00:24:37] But all he did was live to leave a legacy.

[00:24:41] And he died before he could have finished it.

[00:24:43] And so he left nothing.

[00:24:46] But memories.

[00:24:48] And they weren't even the greatest memories.

[00:24:50] Because he didn't finish out his journey of what he was trying to leave.

[00:24:57] And I think that's so true.

[00:24:58] Like, you don't know what's going to happen.

[00:25:00] So, and this is, this is going to sound horrible when I say this.

[00:25:03] But like, I probably spend way too much money traveling personally.

[00:25:08] But I'm, I'm giving my kids the legacy now.

[00:25:14] Right.

[00:25:14] I'm giving them that experience now with me versus saying when mom dies, oh, she left us money to do X, Y, and Z.

[00:25:22] Or instead of saying, or instead doing it now.

[00:25:27] And, you know, that might be wrong or bad that, you know, I'm saying, oh, I, maybe I shouldn't be spending this much money.

[00:25:32] But you know what it does do to me?

[00:25:34] It motivates me to work even more.

[00:25:36] Heck yeah.

[00:25:37] Heck yeah.

[00:25:37] Because you're kind of like, well.

[00:25:40] Well, I wanted to take out, oh, this is so silly, Libby.

[00:25:43] But I was, I wanted to take out like, I think it was 200 bucks to go buy a purse.

[00:25:49] And I'm like sitting there telling myself, well, I, you know, I work hard.

[00:25:52] I deserve this purse.

[00:25:54] And I talked myself out of it because the business needs it.

[00:25:57] And that's, I should just do it.

[00:25:59] I should go get my purse.

[00:26:00] I should buy my grandkids stuff instead of always, I'm building the buildings.

[00:26:04] I'm building, I'm building.

[00:26:06] Where does, where does it end?

[00:26:07] When, when is it okay for me to go, okay, I can pull a little money for me to do something fun.

[00:26:12] And traveling, oh my gosh.

[00:26:14] Libby, I would love to travel.

[00:26:16] I'd love to take my grandkids to Disney World.

[00:26:18] Well, just call it an office meeting.

[00:26:21] Yes.

[00:26:22] Yes.

[00:26:23] It's a whole nother topic.

[00:26:25] We're not going to get into it.

[00:26:26] I need the SOP book to come out.

[00:26:28] I need the playbook to come out so we can be self-running, self-running so I can go do it.

[00:26:34] And you could have a, it's called a retreat where you're talking about business while you're there.

[00:26:39] Okay.

[00:26:42] So, you know, and, and I, I didn't believe that because I grew up with like saying we have to leave money.

[00:26:47] I have to leave my house.

[00:26:48] I have to leave X, Y, and Z.

[00:26:50] I have to leave this impression instead of saying, instead of leaving the impression, let's make it now.

[00:26:54] I want to see it.

[00:26:55] It's, I want to see the difference I'm giving or doing or the difference I'm creating in my children and in my employees and in my friends and in my family.

[00:27:04] I want to see it versus if I die, I'm never going to see it.

[00:27:09] True.

[00:27:12] I just was, you know, and some of this.

[00:27:15] I'm learning so much.

[00:27:16] There's still a podcast every day.

[00:27:19] You know, and some of this information could be dangerous because you could just take it and go blow all your money.

[00:27:24] That's not what I'm saying either.

[00:27:26] Well, for our listeners.

[00:27:28] Me too.

[00:27:29] For our listeners.

[00:27:31] But why keep depriving ourselves of certain things?

[00:27:38] So many, so many business owners.

[00:27:40] I was one.

[00:27:41] I was, I did the same thing.

[00:27:42] I felt bad if I wasn't in the office every day.

[00:27:44] I felt bad if I wasn't working alongside, you know, the salespeople or the marketing people.

[00:27:52] But here's the thing, Teresa.

[00:27:54] We have to go out and play sometimes.

[00:27:57] We have to go out and do things.

[00:27:59] We have to get away because of the level of stress and risk we deal with as the entrepreneur.

[00:28:08] Our money, our pay is not guaranteed.

[00:28:13] And because of those reasons, we have to be okay with saying like, hey, I'm going to work on the beach today because I am completely burnt out and I can't even think of a new idea nor absorb anything.

[00:28:26] I need to get away.

[00:28:27] I need to play hard.

[00:28:28] That's why you see a lot of successful people like play hard, work hard.

[00:28:31] Yes.

[00:28:31] Right?

[00:28:32] They don't just, great book.

[00:28:34] One of my mentors, Jonathan Potoshnik, he's the owner of Service Autopilot.

[00:28:39] He recommended this book and it's called The Power of Full Engagement.

[00:28:44] I read that book and I was like, oh my God.

[00:28:47] They talk about corporate athletes, but we're not a corporate athlete.

[00:28:52] But the way the book talked was like, we as entrepreneurs just work and we just work hard and we keep working and working and working and we come to burnout and we try to work through it.

[00:29:02] And then we become less effective, less efficient versus the real successful people out there in the world work hard, play hard.

[00:29:11] They know how to disconnect, go away, and then they come back and work hard.

[00:29:16] And the next time they come back to work hard, they can work harder, longer, and then they disconnect.

[00:29:21] It's kind of like interval training.

[00:29:24] You know how they call that, where you're raising your heart rate on purpose and it burns more calories.

[00:29:29] It's the same theory, but with working.

[00:29:33] And what we tend to do is the books that just, we just keep working.

[00:29:37] And then we become like inefficient blobs of people who don't even accomplish anything and have apathy for our own businesses.

[00:29:49] And I was like, wow, that makes a lot of sense.

[00:29:51] It's painted a picture of me there, Libby.

[00:29:53] It's work, work, work, work, work.

[00:29:54] And if you're having a conversation with me outside of work, even if you're not an entrepreneur, work is getting, we've been there somewhere.

[00:30:02] Because I never expected to be here.

[00:30:04] So to get there, I'm just like all, all the time, 24-7.

[00:30:11] There's very little disconnect.

[00:30:14] So, Teresa, since you've gotten to a point that you didn't think you would achieve.

[00:30:18] Yes.

[00:30:19] How are you going to get yourself to the next point?

[00:30:23] I'm going to rest.

[00:30:27] How am I going to get to the next point?

[00:30:30] Do you have any plans?

[00:30:34] I don't.

[00:30:35] I mean, I'm just, I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing.

[00:30:38] I'm going to keep the advertising going.

[00:30:41] I'm learning what SLP and playbooks are.

[00:30:44] I want to hear about what you're going to do for you to get you to the next point.

[00:30:48] What am I going to do for me?

[00:30:54] I would love to say like you do.

[00:30:56] I have a whole bunch of mentors.

[00:30:57] I would love to get mentored more on that.

[00:31:02] What do I need to be doing for me?

[00:31:07] I don't know the answer to that.

[00:31:10] So, it's just something to think about.

[00:31:12] When I was approaching, when I passed my first million, I went to everyone who I knew who was over, who was at two million or over.

[00:31:23] And I asked them, I think I asked four or five people.

[00:31:27] They weren't direct mentors.

[00:31:29] One of them was.

[00:31:30] But most of them were just industry friends or like long care, cleaning, commercial cleaning, house cleaning.

[00:31:36] I asked them, I said, what did you do to get yourself from one million to two?

[00:31:45] And I got great insight on a few things for the business personally.

[00:31:50] So, it was a mixture of personal and professional insight.

[00:31:54] But it was like probably one of the greatest things that I did was ask that specific question.

[00:32:00] Hey, I'm at a million.

[00:32:03] What did you do to get yourself ready to make, to get to two?

[00:32:08] What do I need to do to personally grow to reset?

[00:32:13] Well, first, yeah, that's the question.

[00:32:16] That's the first question I would ask.

[00:32:22] And you have a great network to ask of people.

[00:32:28] My first thing I would tell you is work on yourself, which is your health and your food.

[00:32:33] Work on your marriage.

[00:32:35] Because if we do not have that foundation, the stress that we have to deal with,

[00:32:41] and the anxiety and the risk, we cannot come home and deal with issues at home.

[00:32:46] We just can't.

[00:32:47] We will collapse.

[00:32:48] It will not.

[00:32:49] It will stagnate our growth.

[00:32:51] Professionally.

[00:32:53] Then my family.

[00:32:54] So, me, my marriage, my family.

[00:32:57] And then my business.

[00:33:01] Which sounds weird.

[00:33:03] No, it doesn't.

[00:33:04] That is some fantastic advice.

[00:33:07] So, from where I come from, of course, the whole variety thing has got to come first.

[00:33:11] That stays over.

[00:33:14] But, you know, me and the husband, we need to do some of those day things.

[00:33:19] I know you and Chris are doing day things.

[00:33:23] Is it like every day?

[00:33:24] Or set it up on your calendar?

[00:33:26] Yep.

[00:33:27] My husband and I were just, he was a truck driver and now he's home.

[00:33:32] We do walk the dog every night together.

[00:33:35] Well, that's nice.

[00:33:36] But you know what we talk about, Libby?

[00:33:38] What?

[00:33:39] My business.

[00:33:40] Work.

[00:33:41] Work.

[00:33:43] Talk about your ideas.

[00:33:45] Your aspirations to travel.

[00:33:49] Like, your dreams.

[00:33:51] Your goals.

[00:33:52] His dreams and goals.

[00:33:53] Yes.

[00:33:58] Because we have to have that support.

[00:34:00] And that's why I go me, my marriage, then my family.

[00:34:04] Because I need my parents to support me.

[00:34:06] I need my siblings to understand me.

[00:34:08] I need to keep those connections.

[00:34:10] Or my children.

[00:34:11] I even put my children after myself and my marriage.

[00:34:14] Then my children come in that family category.

[00:34:18] And, you know, as a mom, we grew up saying our children come first.

[00:34:22] Right.

[00:34:23] And I learned that those kids grow up and leave.

[00:34:25] I already have one that left.

[00:34:26] And I'm like, yeah, they do.

[00:34:28] Well, why did I put everything into that kid?

[00:34:30] He just left me.

[00:34:32] He's 26.

[00:34:33] So he needed to leave.

[00:34:35] I've met him.

[00:34:37] Yeah.

[00:34:38] I'm like, you know, it's me first.

[00:34:41] Because first, and that sounds selfish.

[00:34:43] And I even had to go to therapy for this one.

[00:34:45] Because if it wasn't me first, then how would I be a great mom?

[00:34:49] A great business owner.

[00:34:50] A great leader.

[00:34:51] A great manager.

[00:34:52] A great wife.

[00:34:52] You can't.

[00:34:54] And I think for us women entrepreneurs who have children,

[00:34:57] we are always trying to put our kids first.

[00:34:59] And it's almost like self-sabotaging.

[00:35:03] My kids are all grown.

[00:35:04] That's great.

[00:35:05] They have grandbabies.

[00:35:05] Oh, I have an eight-year-old grandson and a six-year-old grandson.

[00:35:11] That's my heart.

[00:35:13] I told Chris the other day, we have a house in Georgia.

[00:35:16] And we were packing up the house in Georgia to leave.

[00:35:19] And I wanted to stay longer.

[00:35:20] Because it's just quiet.

[00:35:21] It's in the woods.

[00:35:22] And it's so flipping boring that my kids hate it.

[00:35:27] But I could stay there forever.

[00:35:28] And I told Chris, I'm like, I can't wait until our kids are gone.

[00:35:31] So we can just stay here as long as we want.

[00:35:32] I said, I don't mean I'm going to whack them gone.

[00:35:34] I mean, until they grow up.

[00:35:36] And they're gone.

[00:35:37] He goes, well, we could think about whacking them.

[00:35:40] And I'm like, no.

[00:35:40] When they grow up and they're gone, he's like, we have a long ways to go with Yaya.

[00:35:44] I was like, maybe one of her brothers can watch her.

[00:35:48] So I'm originally from Tennessee.

[00:35:50] Oh, okay.

[00:35:50] And I was in Georgia for a little bit.

[00:35:52] So Georgia is right there.

[00:35:54] Beautiful, beautiful.

[00:35:57] Yes.

[00:35:58] So, you know, as business owners, especially as women, I think we are confused.

[00:36:01] We have things backwards.

[00:36:03] We always put ourselves last.

[00:36:04] We always put ourselves last.

[00:36:06] Stop putting yourself last.

[00:36:09] Everybody, ladies, even men.

[00:36:10] I know some men in not healthy relationships and they keep putting themselves last.

[00:36:14] It's not always applicable to men.

[00:36:17] Or I'm going to say, it's not always applicable to women.

[00:36:19] Yep.

[00:36:20] But we have to fill it first.

[00:36:23] Because if we don't, we will not.

[00:36:25] We will not survive this ride called business.

[00:36:28] Entrepreneurism.

[00:36:29] It will eat us alive from the inside out.

[00:36:32] I can say it all day long.

[00:36:34] I got to fill my cup first or I'm pouring for me.

[00:36:36] I know all the memes.

[00:36:37] It's applying.

[00:36:39] It's applying.

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:41] Yeah.

[00:36:42] So, and I think the reason too we don't apply it is because nobody knows.

[00:36:48] Right.

[00:36:49] Like, it's a dirty little secret.

[00:36:51] I neglected myself today.

[00:36:52] I didn't eat lunch.

[00:36:53] Or maybe I didn't work out.

[00:36:55] It's okay because nobody knows but me.

[00:36:58] Right.

[00:36:59] But what it does is over time, it chips away.

[00:37:02] It erodes that self-confidence that we have that we need to make.

[00:37:07] Risky decisions.

[00:37:09] To make fast decisions.

[00:37:11] We've eroded it because we keep putting ourselves last.

[00:37:15] I can tell when I'm getting super empty because I will, I will, like, say stuff to Jodi, my office manager, in a not nice way.

[00:37:24] And I'm like, where the hell are you from?

[00:37:27] Like, oh, no.

[00:37:29] Or my, when my employees would just be coming through to say hi.

[00:37:32] And I'm like, and that's not even who I am.

[00:37:35] You know?

[00:37:35] Yeah.

[00:37:36] There, there, there's signs that need to slow down and take care of me.

[00:37:40] Yeah.

[00:37:40] Absolutely.

[00:37:41] I love that.

[00:37:42] Totally love that.

[00:37:43] So, before we wrap up, what keeps you going?

[00:37:47] Glad we're talking this into a coaching call.

[00:37:48] Libby, thank you so much to all of you.

[00:37:50] No.

[00:37:51] No.

[00:37:52] But, Teresa, what keeps you going?

[00:37:54] What keeps you motivated?

[00:37:55] What's your passion to keep this going?

[00:37:57] Even during the hard times?

[00:38:00] You got to pay them bills.

[00:38:04] Honestly, this is so important to me.

[00:38:06] I just, I, I, I love level up cleaning.

[00:38:09] I want to see what it can become.

[00:38:11] But my grand, my grandbabies, my grandbabies.

[00:38:14] I, you know, yeah.

[00:38:17] I love that.

[00:38:18] I wish I had a great answer for that.

[00:38:22] But I, I get up in the morning and I don't hate this job.

[00:38:26] I, I love coming to the office.

[00:38:27] I love seeing what we're doing with this business.

[00:38:32] That's amazing.

[00:38:33] And no, it doesn't matter.

[00:38:35] It, it, it doesn't matter what your why is.

[00:38:38] It's your why.

[00:38:39] Yeah.

[00:38:39] So, there's no reason, you don't have to defend it.

[00:38:41] I mean, I think for your grandkids, that's amazing.

[00:38:43] I want to watch it grow.

[00:38:45] But I do also want to put a temperature on to pay attention to what's going on here.

[00:38:51] Yes.

[00:38:51] Instead of looking fantastic on the outside and maybe fall apart a little bit on the outside.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:57] And I think as, as, as women and moms, we're automatically those nurturing people, like,

[00:39:04] let us go fix it.

[00:39:05] Yes.

[00:39:06] Yes.

[00:39:06] Um, but we're broken inside.

[00:39:10] Um, and it's good to do a self-check.

[00:39:12] And so for all of our listeners who may be mom entrepreneurs, women entrepreneurs do a self-check.

[00:39:18] How are you feeling?

[00:39:19] If you feel like those innovative juices, that excitement, that passion for your business is,

[00:39:24] is gone.

[00:39:25] Can you not retain any information is a great sign for me?

[00:39:28] Like if I read a book or watch a course and I have no clue what I just watched or read,

[00:39:34] I'm, I know I'm, I'm done.

[00:39:36] I'm like, I'm up here.

[00:39:38] Um, I need to take a break.

[00:39:40] Refresh.

[00:39:41] Yes.

[00:39:42] And then do some self-reflection at night.

[00:39:44] Some, what are you grateful for?

[00:39:45] What was great today?

[00:39:47] What worked well?

[00:39:47] Don't do your to-do list.

[00:39:49] Just sit down and reflect.

[00:39:50] And if you don't have.

[00:39:51] Don't beat yourself up for the things you messed up on.

[00:39:53] No.

[00:39:53] Don't get morbid reflection.

[00:39:54] Just moving on.

[00:39:56] Moving on.

[00:39:57] But that self-reflection is really going to help you see, oh my God, like I'm not grateful

[00:40:00] for anything.

[00:40:01] We're doing this with Yaya.

[00:40:03] She's six and she's not grateful for anything.

[00:40:05] I'm like, oh my gosh, little girl.

[00:40:06] Um, always something to be grateful for.

[00:40:09] That is my whole thing.

[00:40:10] I'm on a little text thread with a couple of my friends in recovery and we stop and take

[00:40:15] a breath.

[00:40:16] I'm grateful for socks.

[00:40:18] I'm grateful for this water.

[00:40:20] I mean, you know, yes.

[00:40:21] And right now I'm, I'm grateful for all, for you, for all of my people in CBF that,

[00:40:28] that have walked this path before me or walking it with me.

[00:40:32] There's so much gratitude for surrounding myself with entrepreneurs that are on the same path.

[00:40:39] Well, Teresa, I love that.

[00:40:40] And I think that's a great way to wrap up.

[00:40:43] And if for our listeners, if you don't know what CBF is, we've, we said it a few times,

[00:40:46] but we'll make sure to put it in the show notes as well.

[00:40:48] CBF is Debbie Sardone's cleaning business fundamentals.

[00:40:52] It's a group that I joined when I first started my cleaning company.

[00:40:54] I met Teresa and, and many other of our guests from the podcast have come from CBF as well.

[00:41:00] Uh, there's another group I joined, which was, uh, Jonathan Petoschnik's service autopilot

[00:41:05] elite Academy.

[00:41:06] Many of our fearlessness guests are from that group as well.

[00:41:10] So we're very heavy into the lawn care landscape cleaning, commercial cleaning and residential

[00:41:15] cleaning home service sectors.

[00:41:18] But Teresa, thank you so much for being a guest on the fearlessness podcast.

[00:41:22] And I want to thank our listeners.

[00:41:24] And if you would like to see more episodes like this, visit thefearlessness.com.

[00:41:29] And I also want to thank our sponsors, Woot Recruit, because without them, I wouldn't be able

[00:41:33] to have this great podcast.

[00:41:34] And guys, that's a wrap into the heart of fearlessness.

[00:41:37] Remember every step we take towards or moves us towards our own strengths and courage.

[00:41:43] Keep walking through those fires of hell because on the other side lies a version of yourself.

[00:41:48] That's unstoppable.

[00:41:49] I'm Libby reminding you to embrace your fearlessness until next time.

[00:41:53] Stay brave, stay bold, and keep pushing forward.