Episode 15 - Transforming Challenges into Strength with Gerren Sprauve

[00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's Libby DeLucien again here with Fearlessness. What is Fearlessness? It's the

[00:00:05] underlying grit that empowers us as entrepreneurs to forge ahead even when hope seems distant.

[00:00:10] It's the courage to walk through those fires of hell knowing that we'll come out better and stronger

[00:00:15] on the other side. Stay tuned and learn how to get Fearlessness. I'm your host, Libby DeLucien

[00:00:23] and I want to introduce my guest today but I'll let him introduce himself because I always think

[00:00:28] man I can't do it justice so I'll let you go ahead and do the intro.

[00:00:31] Hey so my name is Garen Sprout. I am an author, speaker,

[00:00:36] entrepreneur, coach. I have been in the cleaning industry since 2006, come up on two decades now

[00:00:45] and I simply love people and it shows and everything that I get into so let's get right

[00:00:53] into it. Absolutely. I think we met at cleaning and cocktails in DC so looking forward to that

[00:01:02] event I see they have another one scheduled yeah I think in April. It's gonna actually be,

[00:01:08] I think they just shifted it so it's gonna be in July now. Oh yeah you're right the April one

[00:01:12] was canceled. It's in July now and they had to book it in California like that's so far.

[00:01:19] Where are you? I'm in Florida. Oh check that out. Yep so I'm in Fort Myers, southwestern Florida

[00:01:28] so just to get out of the state of Florida it's a good day drive. Yeah yeah yeah thanks for where

[00:01:35] you are. Yep so I want to jump right in you have so much going on. I love it I think that as we

[00:01:43] grow our businesses the value of the lessons learned are things that we really get passionate about

[00:01:50] to kind of carry on and teach other people. So can you tell me a specific time when you

[00:01:56] learned a powerful lesson since starting any one of your businesses? I mean you could pick

[00:02:01] anyone any business. Yeah yeah I think the one that stands out to me the most right now is

[00:02:07] okay so when I lost one of my largest subcontractors they I was working alongside them I was paying

[00:02:17] attention to their employees and noticing that the employees weren't coming to work with a host of joy

[00:02:24] right. I still I just see my veins popping in there the size of their temple the heads

[00:02:28] like what's going on something is up and I confronted my subcontractor on that

[00:02:34] just to find out hey is your team okay? Yeah I can't they're okay they're doing well

[00:02:38] and I kept pushing her just asking her please take care of the team make sure to do it good

[00:02:43] because when I would show up they wouldn't see anything to me they were quiet which seemed odd

[00:02:48] and eventually she literally just showed up with all the keys to all of my accounts on a

[00:02:54] Monday morning dropped them off on my desk and said Merry Christmas and walked out I was about

[00:02:59] to freak out because I knew that I was gonna get calls Monday morning so I walked to my desk

[00:03:05] I sat on my desk and I prayed first took a deep breath and I just started making calls calmly

[00:03:12] to all of my clients and they were like Garen this seems odd for me you guys like what's going on

[00:03:17] we're getting under control Garen I trust you and just knowing that my clients trusted me

[00:03:22] along the way told me that I was doing something good already then I had to figure out the problem

[00:03:28] being able to reach out to the right resources the right people so basically having the right

[00:03:33] people around you I could calm me down and say Garen it's okay we can figure this out

[00:03:38] helping to navigate that problem I didn't lose any clients after that and I got the problem

[00:03:44] solved that moment stands out to me as a pivotal moment in my business career because

[00:03:49] things could have gone crazy and they actually turned out really well that's when I actually

[00:03:55] got my first 19 employees just like that so the people who used to work for the contractor

[00:04:02] she fired them up and they literally said Garen I'll work for you if you hire us

[00:04:06] and that has been a pivotal moment in my in my career it's I remember it as clear as day

[00:04:12] that's such a great story so before then did you only use subcontractors before then it was

[00:04:16] myself alone and then I eased into taking on more work more work by bringing on subcontractors

[00:04:23] yeah so that's kind of how I grew so and this is just a question just in general and I think there

[00:04:31] are places for both subcontractors and employees but what do you think what was what was that change

[00:04:37] how did your company change when you went from more subcontractors to employees I got to

[00:04:44] impact people the way that I always wanted to impact people so in the beginning when I started

[00:04:50] my company the reason why I started it was because I had a moment with a gentleman at a

[00:04:55] restaurant my wife was on my arm went to see this went to eat at this restaurant and the guy

[00:05:00] was cleaning the table he wouldn't look up at me he cleaned it and he walked off to another table

[00:05:04] and I said excuse me sir thank you I told him you didn't just wipe down the table like you

[00:05:09] prepared a place for my wife and I'd have dinner he lit up and he ran to another table

[00:05:14] and started cleaning it down with a smile on his face I think I got chills I told my wife

[00:05:19] I want to do that again now as I was building my company I didn't have any employees to do that

[00:05:25] again with so I would work through the subcontractors and of course I would respect the subs I didn't

[00:05:32] want to really mess with their employees I just say hi high five them thank them but when I got my

[00:05:38] own employees I got to do what I exact exactly what it is I wanted to do which was to pour into

[00:05:43] people directly and that helped me to grow my business tremendously because I had a direct impact

[00:05:49] and people started to work with new purpose new perspective and it was a beautiful experience so

[00:05:56] for me personally it helped me to fulfill what it was a prompting me to start the company and

[00:06:01] it also helped me to create transformations within people's lives directly so it's been it

[00:06:08] I love that story I was just hosting a round table for AJ Simmons at his I believe it's C and

[00:06:14] event in Las Vegas yeah CBN event in Las Vegas and that was one of the questions because I was

[00:06:21] sitting at the recruiting table that's one of the questions that a lot of people were asking

[00:06:26] like oh are you subs what's the difference and I think hearing that come from you is such a great

[00:06:32] those lives versus trying to do it through someone else you know regardless of the

[00:06:38] the taxes and all the things that people think about sure that scare them out of that

[00:06:43] I love that story so you know reflecting back on a lot of those those times during that journey

[00:06:51] what would you say the experience that you're the most proud of while running your company

[00:06:55] all right so I mentioned to you in the beginning I told that individual thank you

[00:07:02] and he lit up my purpose for being in business is to create environments where the word thank you

[00:07:08] was exchanged often okay because I saw what happened when I said thank you to someone

[00:07:16] and when someone says thank you to me I see how I look light up being in business for

[00:07:20] me is like playing in the sandbox I create environments where I get to work on myself

[00:07:27] through my business and while I'm doing that things happen so we grow our business

[00:07:35] money revenue increases while I'm working on myself so for me for me continuing to create

[00:07:42] environments in each one of our businesses creating environments where thank you is

[00:07:45] exchanged often is what drives me and it keeps me focused so life becomes it becomes beautiful

[00:07:53] becomes like playing with with Sam like a kid on in a candy store I have I have a purpose behind

[00:08:00] every day and it no longer is it anything where I'm just trying to make money or

[00:08:05] like if I was just working with subs it'd be difficult I wouldn't feel it in my heart

[00:08:10] it'll be work now it's not work it's I get to I get to live out exactly what it is I wanted to do

[00:08:16] which is just create thank yous everywhere I think that we you know the hard work definitely pays off

[00:08:24] a lot of entrepreneurs they can't see the light on the other side that's one reason why I started

[00:08:29] this podcast yeah is it's that daily grind that daily chaos that can can knock you down

[00:08:36] and keep chipping away at you and if you keep pushing through it does there is this other side

[00:08:44] that is so amazing to experience because like you said every day is great now every day yeah

[00:08:50] there's some bad days but as we work on ourselves we learn how to handle those we learn how to

[00:08:56] be more grateful oh I was a hot mess I tell stories all the time about when I first started

[00:09:01] you know I'm half Mexican and half Native American and you know like temper no patience

[00:09:08] like just hard headed and I'm a completely different person and so grateful that I could have

[00:09:15] the experience to work on myself as I helped other people and grew a business

[00:09:20] and I ask a question yeah did you know that you're working on yourself to get here or were

[00:09:25] you focused on working on your business to get here so I didn't know I was working on myself

[00:09:34] at the beginning and I think until your company reaches over like a million a million and a half

[00:09:39] and you start to get out of those valleys of despair yeah um and then once they hit those

[00:09:45] revenues and we were approaching like two million I was then seeking more personal

[00:09:51] development and it turned into there's no more working on the business for say it's kind of established

[00:09:57] like you have your SOPs you have those systems it's now you need to work on Libby me because I

[00:10:05] need to now make leaders that can run this without needing me and so many people I'm one of those

[00:10:09] at first I took it a sign of pride I didn't ask anybody for help now I'm always asking people

[00:10:17] not for help but insight like hey talk me through this what do you think um so I have those group of

[00:10:23] people around me um that I can say hey man I'm going through this or what do you think about that

[00:10:29] and and it's not like that no more where I took it as a sign of pride that I didn't ask

[00:10:33] for help I'm constantly seeking insight and when I reach those revenues when I reach certain

[00:10:38] plateaus of revenue or goals I I go to mentors that have already been there and I say what

[00:10:44] do I need to do next yeah I remember seeking out three three of them as I was approaching two million

[00:10:50] kind of saying hey what do I need to do next because I don't want to find that mistake out

[00:10:54] myself I want you to like and all of them said it's now time to work on you you need to work on you

[00:11:02] I have a mentor he's Dan Martel and um he has the saying that you know belt buckles and bank

[00:11:07] accounts like they one must go down for the other the other to go up um and he's a SAS mentor but

[00:11:18] when you make it to his top mentoring level so he's kind of he has groups are called accelerator

[00:11:24] academy and boardroom when you make it to boardroom when you're sitting in that room and um

[00:11:32] you have to start hit a certain revenue to qualify to get in there you are not talking business no more

[00:11:38] you're talking about your health your mental capacity your marriage your faith and whatever

[00:11:43] it may be and it becomes a whole another level of teaching and I think I got into that about

[00:11:48] a little more than a year ago where I really took it serious with exercise and diet and

[00:11:54] mental clarity and clarity breaks because if you can't do that or if you don't do those

[00:11:59] things you won't have the capacity to deal with the big issues um the big problems that will take

[00:12:06] you down if you don't focus on those things yeah yeah no and I'm glad that you have carved out

[00:12:14] that time to to do that right to work on you along the way one of the things that I do is

[00:12:22] I bridge that gap just part of some of the coaching that I do I have to say this early

[00:12:31] I wanted to create I wanted to start a business where I can help people in the service industry

[00:12:36] to build confidence and to grow right so that they could recognize through every day it's a gift

[00:12:43] to them now you mentioned you mentioned once you reach a million plus you begin to work on

[00:12:49] yourself dare I say Libby that once you say yes I'm going to do this you make the choice that

[00:12:57] I'm going to start a business opportunity begins to work yourself from day one and I think a lot

[00:13:04] of times you hear people talk about this work-life balance when you are being who you are

[00:13:11] there is no work-life balance you are just being every day you wake up

[00:13:15] 100%

[00:13:16] life continues to give to you on a day-to-day basis if you don't recognize it you'll feel like I'm

[00:13:23] not where I'm supposed to be I need to make X amount of dollars were you present with today did

[00:13:28] you really see what happened to you or for you today and a lot of us missed that we missed that

[00:13:34] that life right now is happening for us and we can grow and we can use it we can play with it

[00:13:39] right now because let's just say we get to the million or the two million or the five million mark

[00:13:45] and now our our health isn't where it used to be or the people that were in our lives or passing

[00:13:50] through our lives they've already gone because we've gone so we've missed that opportunity because

[00:13:55] we were always focused on ahead versus today so what I help people to do is play with today

[00:14:02] so that you can see the gifts that are always coming your way so you can smile as you wake up

[00:14:08] first thing you wake up in the morning you roll over you grab your phone to see like what problems

[00:14:11] there are well what opportunities are they right now you can smile and say like you know what

[00:14:18] I saw big problems let's go and now you grow into that so you start reading books and applying

[00:14:23] things different because the perspective has changed so I don't want people to wait until

[00:14:29] they reach those marks because if they don't reach those marks when will they personally

[00:14:33] yeah and a lot of us when we start we're just so far in the trenches like we don't even bring

[00:14:38] our heads up to realize that one of the things I try to live by is you know everyone has this

[00:14:44] concept of I want to build an empire I want to leave a legacy right and they're working so hard

[00:14:52] to leave a legacy but you know one thing I've I've I've learned is that I want to live that

[00:14:59] legacy now why not live the legacy now why not live that legacy now in the moment because as a

[00:15:05] business owner you have that ability to do that instead of dying and not even seeing that legacy

[00:15:11] or what you left or saying oh when I get to this revenue I'm gonna retire when I get to this revenue

[00:15:16] I'm gonna take a vacation or buy a dream home or volunteer or start a nonprofit and that's when

[00:15:23] you see people leave with regret versus if I live so building a legacy for me is is creating a job

[00:15:31] or a company that I never want to retire from you just being you Libby yeah awesome this right

[00:15:38] so so so the question is like how can we help people do that today and and and you mentioned

[00:15:45] earlier I mean well I mentioned earlier in my author so the book that I wrote which was

[00:15:48] called fast track your calling I was gonna ask you why did you start write a book I'm writing

[00:15:52] a book and actually at the end of this month we start writing good good stuff yeah it's gonna be

[00:15:56] awesome it's gonna be awesome right and let me know please because I'd love to read it but that book

[00:16:02] fast track your calling how to fuel your drive with every assignment maybe I could have chosen

[00:16:06] better or different title but the point behind that book was how to fuel your drive with every

[00:16:12] assignment every problem every interaction every moment helps to fuel us right when we look at

[00:16:18] life differently all of a sudden you're fast tracking where you're going because you like you

[00:16:23] just mentioned we're living it right now we're starting an on profit right now but I don't have

[00:16:27] enough I don't know who do I need to be in order to start a nonprofit if you ask yourself that

[00:16:34] question all of a sudden so huh who do I need to be who do I need to become now you start

[00:16:39] thinking from a different perspective and now you start looking at life and the people that

[00:16:44] will help you all of a sudden start showing up because you appear now it's crazy you know that

[00:16:49] they were always there they were wow so or or we don't have we didn't work on ourselves or work

[00:16:58] up that confidence just even ask for it like it's like it comes to you great story I was at a

[00:17:10] I was speaking on a panel and I have no idea I looked down the panel and I was like I don't know

[00:17:16] how I got on this panel I mean I think they needed a I think they needed a woman I just

[00:17:21] everybody's like no you're you know you're playing yourself down I was like but like some

[00:17:26] of these guys on this panel were like some major heavy hitters yeah I looked down the panel

[00:17:30] and on the panel was various software owners and other service owners large service owners

[00:17:36] I'm talking like 20 million 17 million SaaS owners and Roger Wakefield was on that panel

[00:17:42] and he is super in the trades he's very famous in the trades and you know I was saying oh I'm

[00:17:50] gonna work on my YouTube I want to work on my YouTube source and what is he he's a freaking

[00:17:54] YouTube star in the trades and I met him I just connected I said man Roger I want to be like you

[00:18:01] when I grow up say anyways he gave me his phone number and I got the I told my husband I said

[00:18:07] I'm gonna text him I just said hey I just want to I just want to know you I want to get like I

[00:18:12] want to be around you and I will say as a woman like with the opposite sex it can be uncomfortable

[00:18:18] as long as you're professional so my husband I said I'm gonna do this what happened he goes

[00:18:22] hey I got opening on my pack podcast you want to come to Dallas this weekend

[00:18:26] check that out I told my husband I said I'm going to Dallas tomorrow

[00:18:30] yes you are um but just like going and having the nerve to ask and putting myself in that room

[00:18:39] and and learning from people he was there he was put in the room where I was yeah and the the

[00:18:45] amount of things I learned being on his podcast opened up to other people like contacting

[00:18:50] me saying hey like I want to meet you you're on Roger's podcast I would never have had those

[00:18:55] opportunities if I didn't look for them and know like hey they're in the room they're in front of me

[00:19:01] I just need to see them and have the courage to move forward with them okay okay wonderful story

[00:19:13] I'm all over it like we have a running loop let's just say we've had some trauma in our past

[00:19:19] we've had some really poor made some poor decisions we were struggling with shame and guilt

[00:19:24] there's something inside of us sometimes that says I'm not enough or I'm not worthy of this or

[00:19:30] I'm gonna get rejected if I call this guy I know he gave me his number maybe he really didn't mean it

[00:19:35] all these this chatter this noise that's going on where what you've been praying for what you've

[00:19:40] been asking for just presented itself but because you got this running loop you don't make that call

[00:19:48] they're gonna reject me you know what maybe I'll put it off maybe I'll put it off and then

[00:19:52] months go by ah maybe he's forgotten about me if I have to text him he probably won't even

[00:19:57] all the stuff that's going on in your head where what you've been asking for was just presented

[00:20:01] to you people don't give respect enough to the loops that they have running in their mind they

[00:20:07] suppress it and it compiles and it creates all kinds of new stories and all kinds of real

[00:20:11] estate in our brain that takes up all the energy that could have been used for what you

[00:20:16] just did absolutely I mean I share on this podcast and some other ones you know I have had come from

[00:20:24] an abusive relationship alcoholic and again another reason why I started the podcast is

[00:20:29] I'm very passionate about helping women in business because with women we struggle with our

[00:20:35] own with ourselves you know it's that I got to cook I got to clean my own house I got to

[00:20:40] drive my kids to soccer practice and it's a capacity issue and also what we were raised

[00:20:46] saying like we have to do these things or we're less of a mom or we're less of a wife

[00:20:52] and you know the whole loop and that's why we have to work on ourselves every single day because

[00:20:58] if you don't think that in my head I still don't think for our listeners that oh I'm just some

[00:21:03] Mexican little Indian girl who's gonna want to talk to me um you're crazy if you don't think

[00:21:09] that you still struggle with those things and that's why you have to constantly build up who you are

[00:21:16] with these daily practices that we talk about I was working with a guy who is I believe he is

[00:21:21] he's also Mexican and he is helping me with uh like my SEO and things of that nature and

[00:21:28] he's a tense guy okay very on edge and we were talking and I asked him I said hey

[00:21:34] so when you go to network events what's that like and he says garen I feel like I have to be

[00:21:40] the best person in the room I have to know it all I'm like what like why do you give yourself that

[00:21:45] pressure but who told you that and he said well garen because of where I'm from and you know I was

[00:21:52] in the military and all this stuff you mentioned he says you know and I'm short you know I've been

[00:21:57] always like fighting all my life so when I walk into these rooms with these people who feel as though

[00:22:03] they know it all I feel like I have to one up them like I'm a very competitive guy

[00:22:08] and I asked him I said how much energy does that like weigh on you when you're even just getting

[00:22:14] ready to go to the event it's exhausting talk about it right so so he when he shows up he's not

[00:22:22] even his authentic self because he's he's just ready for the fight ready for the mental fight

[00:22:26] I'm gonna one you one up on you that's not how life is supposed to be man it's a lot that's

[00:22:31] too much stress on top of all the stress that we already handle you know so just helping people

[00:22:37] to work through that so that they can just show up light has been a joy of mine and and and we see

[00:22:44] the results man people get results fast because they're just they're just playing with life absolutely

[00:22:50] for me like one of the things that put so much pressure on me was and I had this question

[00:22:55] asked me in another podcast like what are the pivotal moments that your business saw growth or

[00:23:01] change or and it's funny because for me they were all times when I let go of my wife and mom

[00:23:08] responsibilities it was first one was I got an executive assistant I fought with that

[00:23:14] forever and finally someone in my sass group said oh my god will you just get an assistant

[00:23:18] like you've been talking about this for three months and I was like okay maybe I should just do it

[00:23:22] but there was something telling me like no you can check your own emails but I did it yeah

[00:23:28] and then the next one was oh no I'm sorry the first one was letting my own cleaning company

[00:23:32] clean my house that was the first one okay right it gave me time back capacity we only have so much

[00:23:39] time so much brain power second one was getting the executive assistant and the third one that

[00:23:44] really changed but these changed my business these are where we saw business growth was

[00:23:48] getting a house helper someone that came in to cook manage the house take care of the

[00:23:54] everything that I would take care of not cleaning because cleaning company cleans it

[00:23:59] because I travel all the time and it's like I'm leaving my husband as a single parent

[00:24:04] to do all these things and it weighs on you and then you're trying to make up for it

[00:24:08] and you're trying to do it and the fear was how do you feel that fill that time

[00:24:15] with generating revenue generating tasks or things that are important

[00:24:19] and not just like slack off because now I got a house helper and assistant

[00:24:23] I'm gonna eat potato chips on the couch those things for me what networking wasn't the hard

[00:24:29] thing for me to do it was the pressure of having to maintain the house the kids the sports the

[00:24:37] driving the cooking and my husband cooks and cleans and helps with all that but it was that like

[00:24:41] I was raised that this is what you were supposed to do yeah yeah and that was the anxiety that

[00:24:46] I got and it kept me from really allowing the businesses to grow because I couldn't let go of

[00:24:54] those things to give me more freedom or time freedom to like to exercise to read to meditate

[00:25:02] to work on big projects or big relationships yeah I'm smile because like I'm proud of you right

[00:25:08] I'm proud of you and I see you and I see all the other people who are struggling with the

[00:25:14] decision as just like you did until you do it and then you're like huh why did I take so long to

[00:25:22] do this you know you're thinking to yourself oh my god what are my parents gonna say I have a house

[00:25:26] helper they're gonna shame me oh it's it's listen it's it's a beautiful thing when you

[00:25:34] when you put those things in place because you recognize you are more powerful you're more in

[00:25:39] flow when you're doing your god-given talents and you gave yourself permission to do those things

[00:25:46] one of the problems or challenges people might face maybe well I can't afford it

[00:25:51] when you take the step oh and I'm talking to myself too man because there's some things that

[00:25:55] I'm working on that I sometimes look at my our bank account it's like but that tells me that

[00:26:02] I'm stretching myself right when we start talking about like we can't afford it that that like

[00:26:07] puts such like a halt to the momentum that we were creating and now you're just sitting at that place

[00:26:13] that in the meantime space where it's like I can't afford it well one day I'll afford it so now I gotta

[00:26:18] work harder to be able to afford it but if you just made the decision and like you said right being

[00:26:24] available and being open to what's happening around you you're gonna start increasing your

[00:26:28] revenue all of a sudden you're like I don't feel it and it's working you know so kudos to

[00:26:34] you for doing that 100% it's when we saw the business has changed when I made those personal changes

[00:26:42] and you know I'm always one of those when you had said it earlier is this the way an owner lives

[00:26:48] this is the way you want to live is this the way you want to live every day I made a

[00:26:52] there are so many versions of myself when I look back to say when I decided the company we're

[00:26:59] going to do this we're going to do that I have to start living that I have to start acting

[00:27:02] that way start adjusting it's a great feeling but scary at the same time because I think we're

[00:27:08] also going to get the stigma that like oh well who do you think you are yeah it is and it's definitely

[00:27:17] you know with with women entrepreneurs we struggle with this a lot I don't know about men

[00:27:24] as far as the imposter syndrome because I'm so tired of of women saying I'm sorry once I say

[00:27:30] this to you you're going to notice it everywhere so women we say we're sorry I did it all the time

[00:27:36] I would even start an email I'm so sorry and we say we're sorry why are we saying we're sorry all

[00:27:41] the time yeah it's because we have that weird inherent like we have to fix everything we have

[00:27:48] to take care of everything we have to nurture everything and if we don't it's our fault

[00:27:54] I'm listening to you're good you're going to notice it and if you're you know if you're a

[00:27:58] husband or a spouse or a partner or if you are the woman entrepreneur I want you to notice

[00:28:04] how often you say you're sorry and I want you to stop saying it what would you have them say

[00:28:08] if you don't mind well why are we saying we're sorry we don't need to justify anything with

[00:28:14] an apology unless you truly did something wrong yeah you can address it without saying you're

[00:28:21] sorry like yeah you know if it took you two days to get to an email that's no problem

[00:28:27] address the email reply I think that we just think that we have to you know oh I'm I'm late

[00:28:34] I'm so sorry instead of saying hey I'm running late I'll be there in about five minutes letting

[00:28:39] them know and just communicating in a more open and honest way versus just going straight to the

[00:28:45] sorry yeah yeah so being a man in a house with a wife and two daughters I I experienced life

[00:28:55] differently okay all right so it's not sharp edges it's more rounded now okay i'm not growing

[00:29:01] so two weeks ago I took my family down to the outlet malls here in Orlando and my daughter you

[00:29:08] know when you go to those malls they have the the kiosk in the middle as you're walking around

[00:29:12] and I saw my daughters talking to a couple people and they have their own money right

[00:29:16] and all of a sudden my daughter my youngest daughter she's nine years old she walks away

[00:29:20] with a bag okay so we're walking less than 10 minutes into the walk she begins to cry

[00:29:25] I'm like what's going on she's like daddy I don't want this I was like you don't want what

[00:29:31] I don't want what I bought I was like okay but you you chose to buy it yes daddy but

[00:29:37] I don't want to go home with it I don't want to go home with it she's crying I'm like okay okay

[00:29:40] let's talk about this did you feel forced buying it she's like no okay so uh did did you not know

[00:29:47] what to say I'm trying to find out exactly where was the break where she lost and she said to me

[00:29:53] she says the person seems so nice I didn't want to I didn't want to make them feel bad I was like

[00:30:00] okay all right that's where we are okay so I said let's play this quick game I said

[00:30:06] chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream she's like daddy you know I don't like ice cream I said okay

[00:30:10] just go with me she's like vanilla ice cream I said why because I don't like chocolate I was like

[00:30:16] okay let's try it again chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream she's like vanilla ice cream daddy

[00:30:20] why because I would rather vanilla ice cream on my apple pie so I don't want chocolate okay let's

[00:30:26] try it again and we did it and she says vanilla ice cream why because I want vanilla ice cream

[00:30:32] I said, excellent.

[00:30:34] Babes, you can make a choice just because you want to make a choice.

[00:30:38] You don't have to kill off anything else.

[00:30:40] I don't like ice chocolate.

[00:30:41] I just choose ice cream and walk away.

[00:30:46] So if you didn't want to buy it, you can say thank you,

[00:30:49] but I'm going to go now.

[00:30:51] She's like, but that's it, daddy?

[00:30:53] I'm like, yeah, you choose to leave.

[00:30:55] And it's OK.

[00:30:57] So I'm teaching them how to make choices

[00:30:59] because they just want to choose.

[00:31:03] Well, there's a great in the book.

[00:31:05] I think it was Be Your Future Self Now.

[00:31:07] Talk about the word have versus want.

[00:31:10] And it's a great explanation.

[00:31:11] And so many of us are scared to say I want.

[00:31:16] Or not have.

[00:31:17] Yeah, like I have to have this or versus I want to have

[00:31:20] like I want a BMW.

[00:31:22] Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

[00:31:23] It's need versus want. OK.

[00:31:25] To use the word want and be OK with it

[00:31:29] versus oh, I need to get a new car

[00:31:31] because you're justifying that like it's a need versus the word want.

[00:31:36] A lot of people are not comfortable with the word want

[00:31:40] because I want it and so it's OK.

[00:31:42] I don't need to justify why I want it.

[00:31:43] I just want it because I want it.

[00:31:45] What do you think that comes from?

[00:31:48] That they're not OK with it.

[00:31:50] You know, I don't know where it comes from with everybody,

[00:31:52] but I think this is going to sound.

[00:31:55] I think our parenting styles, you know, with kids,

[00:31:59] we know, you know, it evolves every generation of parents.

[00:32:03] You know, we get a little bit better and a little bit better

[00:32:06] or a little bit worse.

[00:32:07] Hopefully we get a little bit better and better.

[00:32:09] And, you know, I grew up in a really strict household.

[00:32:12] My dad was my dad is Mexican.

[00:32:16] My mom is Native American, grew up in Oklahoma,

[00:32:19] very rural area.

[00:32:22] We did not have a lot of money.

[00:32:23] And my parents were great, though, but very strict.

[00:32:26] And it was like, you know, you didn't get anything

[00:32:30] unless you needed it because we didn't have any money, right?

[00:32:35] And that word want was not really something

[00:32:39] that was in our vocabulary.

[00:32:40] And, you know, I think that you look at the word

[00:32:44] like a dirty word sometimes.

[00:32:46] Like why do you want to be in W?

[00:32:49] Because I just do versus, you know, you only get what you need

[00:32:53] because you didn't have extra money or a lot of money.

[00:32:56] And I think for me, it was coming from childhood

[00:32:58] kind of growing up with not having a lot.

[00:33:00] OK, let me go a little bit further.

[00:33:02] So the people who end up in the service industry,

[00:33:06] if we were to do a survey,

[00:33:07] what do you think their backgrounds were like?

[00:33:10] Oh my gosh, I think, well, I think they're very similar,

[00:33:15] but also different.

[00:33:16] You know, I've met some, I guess, mainly more franchise

[00:33:20] commercial cleaning owners that were more corporate

[00:33:22] C-suite backgrounds.

[00:33:24] But a lot of us come from the same background.

[00:33:26] It's just because it's such an easy startup

[00:33:31] or we can do it ourselves.

[00:33:32] We know how to work with our hands.

[00:33:33] And then all of a sudden, we have a business

[00:33:35] that landed in our lap and we're like, oh gosh,

[00:33:38] I have people that are relying on me.

[00:33:40] I was just in a group the other day

[00:33:44] and we were talking about what is our biggest fear?

[00:33:46] And these are quite large cleaning companies.

[00:33:49] Over two million, probably the majority of them.

[00:33:52] And the biggest fear is messing up

[00:33:55] because so many people now rely on us.

[00:33:57] Out of this eight people that were in that group,

[00:34:00] the biggest fear right now is like, oh my God, how did this

[00:34:03] get so giant?

[00:34:04] It's now bigger than me.

[00:34:05] Part of the program that I'm working on is,

[00:34:08] it talks about that because we end up serving

[00:34:12] so many people and the question is who's serving us?

[00:34:16] Who's serving us, right?

[00:34:17] We find ourselves in a situation where we wake up

[00:34:19] and just like, oh, the anxiety.

[00:34:21] Like, I don't wanna mess up.

[00:34:22] I gotta make sure we hit payroll, all of this stuff.

[00:34:25] Again, who's serving us on the tail end of that?

[00:34:28] So we need to be fed so that we can give

[00:34:31] from our overflow versus giving from an empty cup.

[00:34:36] Absolutely.

[00:34:37] You know, so helping people to get to that overflow,

[00:34:40] that's been my mission.

[00:34:42] It's been a ride.

[00:34:44] It's been fun.

[00:34:45] That's awesome.

[00:34:47] You know, I don't even start working now till 10.

[00:34:49] Well, you know, there's a lot of things

[00:34:52] you have to learn about yourself once you have,

[00:34:54] you know, I probably have about 100 people

[00:34:55] that I'm responsible for now.

[00:34:57] And that doesn't even include their kids

[00:35:00] and their families and their spouses.

[00:35:02] And there's one of those things where you have to learn

[00:35:05] how you operate and lean into that.

[00:35:09] There's a great book.

[00:35:10] It's called the E.P.T.

[00:35:12] I talk about it all the time.

[00:35:13] Looks like this.

[00:35:14] Right here, looks like this.

[00:35:15] It's a little tiny booklet.

[00:35:17] Okay.

[00:35:18] You could read it in a day.

[00:35:19] I like Sheriff Ann.

[00:35:21] Dan brought him in to teach us.

[00:35:23] I read this book and I was like, oh my God.

[00:35:27] Now I know what's wrong with me.

[00:35:30] I had my husband read the book.

[00:35:32] So he could understand me.

[00:35:33] Okay.

[00:35:34] It talks about...

[00:35:35] Oh, you said what's wrong with you?

[00:35:37] I'm all about word choice.

[00:35:39] Was it what's wrong with you?

[00:35:40] Or who am I?

[00:35:41] Nope, it was what's wrong with me.

[00:35:42] It's because I wasn't understanding myself

[00:35:45] and I wasn't operating in my prime.

[00:35:47] I could control my environment

[00:35:49] and I was not controlling it.

[00:35:50] Therefore, it turned me into someone I did not want to be.

[00:35:54] Okay, okay.

[00:35:55] And that's what was wrong with me.

[00:35:56] And then so I started to learn

[00:35:58] and it talks about all entrepreneurs operate

[00:36:01] some on some sort of a spectrum.

[00:36:04] We operate on some sort of whatever there were

[00:36:05] sensitive sound, light, ADD, ADHD.

[00:36:09] He addresses all of it.

[00:36:11] And we all don't have all those

[00:36:14] but he addresses the personality types.

[00:36:17] And I was operating in a place that I didn't want to be in

[00:36:21] because I knew I was better than that.

[00:36:22] But I was putting myself,

[00:36:24] I was setting myself up for failure

[00:36:25] because I was allowing the environment

[00:36:27] to control what was happening

[00:36:28] instead of me controlling the environment.

[00:36:30] And now like even my 25 year old goes,

[00:36:32] man mom, I don't know what happened to you

[00:36:34] but you're like chill.

[00:36:38] You're like, I'm like yeah.

[00:36:41] He's funny though.

[00:36:42] And he's like, yeah, you're not the same lady

[00:36:46] when I was like 15, which was like 10 years ago.

[00:36:48] That's awesome.

[00:36:49] And I'm like, yeah, I said,

[00:36:51] you know, I've just, I've learned that I got to control.

[00:36:53] So I don't start working till 10

[00:36:54] because I have to do my certain, my exercise, my reading.

[00:36:57] Certain things have,

[00:36:58] I have a morning date with my husband every morning.

[00:37:01] Awesome.

[00:37:02] Every morning that I'm here,

[00:37:03] if we're not here, we try to do it on the phone

[00:37:04] or FaceTime.

[00:37:05] And it's those things that I have to do

[00:37:06] to keep myself true and grounded.

[00:37:10] And you know, that changed so much for me.

[00:37:15] So if you're feeling like you're struggling

[00:37:18] as a business owner,

[00:37:19] like you're just the daily grind and I would say stop.

[00:37:23] You know, you have to stop and figure out

[00:37:25] how can I control my environment

[00:37:27] instead of my environment controlling me?

[00:37:29] That's when that everything's burning down.

[00:37:31] It's chaos.

[00:37:32] The environment is controlling you right now.

[00:37:34] Yeah, how am I?

[00:37:36] Go ahead.

[00:37:37] Well, I was gonna say, you know

[00:37:38] to start wrapping this up,

[00:37:39] what's your last piece of advice

[00:37:43] that you would give anybody listening to

[00:37:45] on kind of how to start it?

[00:37:47] How do they start living that day every day?

[00:37:51] Yeah, yeah.

[00:37:52] So first off, as I answer that question,

[00:37:56] I'm gonna tell you thank you, right?

[00:37:59] Because the wisdom that you've shared,

[00:38:02] we've shared,

[00:38:03] it's just beautiful to look across the aisle

[00:38:06] and see someone putting in that same kind of work.

[00:38:09] It's awesome.

[00:38:10] And the smiles on our faces

[00:38:12] reflect the work,

[00:38:14] the results of all that work, right?

[00:38:16] You get to a space where life is just different.

[00:38:19] It's different.

[00:38:21] I can say, I'm gonna say what worked for me

[00:38:24] to answer your question.

[00:38:26] For so long, I struggled with guilt and shame

[00:38:30] over past decisions, choices made,

[00:38:34] things that happened in my life.

[00:38:36] I held on to it.

[00:38:37] I didn't forgive myself

[00:38:40] so I couldn't forgive others.

[00:38:43] I wasn't being good to myself

[00:38:46] so I fabricated or created goodness to others.

[00:38:51] It was only until I began giving myself grace

[00:38:54] or accepting grace,

[00:38:56] accepting that I'm still okay.

[00:39:00] Despite XYZ, like I'm okay.

[00:39:03] I was created marvelously,

[00:39:05] like, Karen you're good.

[00:39:07] When I began to do that,

[00:39:09] then I was able to give and receive from life differently.

[00:39:14] I remember one time when my wife told me,

[00:39:16] she says, Karen you're selfish.

[00:39:18] And I'm like, what do you mean, woman?

[00:39:21] Look at all the stuff that I've done for us.

[00:39:22] And yada yada.

[00:39:24] And she said, you won't allow me to love you

[00:39:26] the way that I want to love you.

[00:39:28] And it was because I wasn't loving myself, Libby.

[00:39:31] So when I accepted grace

[00:39:33] and realized that I was worthy of love,

[00:39:36] I now love freely.

[00:39:38] I now work my business freely, light.

[00:39:43] Just, it's just whatever, right?

[00:39:47] Because I have been one of billions of people

[00:39:50] who have been able to experience this life.

[00:39:54] So business out there is working for you.

[00:39:57] Let's just look at it differently

[00:39:59] so that you can receive the gift.

[00:40:00] The people around you are there for you.

[00:40:03] The challenges that they give you,

[00:40:04] the impatience that you experience, remember?

[00:40:07] All of those things are for you.

[00:40:10] And if you would just play with life,

[00:40:13] business life, being a spouse, a husband, a father,

[00:40:17] a friend, a sibling, it all becomes beautiful.

[00:40:22] So I give that to you because that's what life is about.

[00:40:26] Absolutely love that.

[00:40:27] I think same goes for me.

[00:40:29] A lot of shame, a lot of guilt,

[00:40:32] but I wouldn't change it for the world now

[00:40:35] because it taught me lessons.

[00:40:38] It made me who I am now.

[00:40:39] And if I wouldn't have went through those things,

[00:40:41] no matter how bad or good they were,

[00:40:44] I wouldn't appreciate what I have right now.

[00:40:47] I acknowledge you.

[00:40:48] This is awesome.

[00:40:50] So to wrap up, what can we, what's next for you?

[00:40:53] Do you have anything that you wanna tell the listeners

[00:40:55] that you got in the works?

[00:40:56] Anything big going on?

[00:40:58] Yeah, some random things.

[00:40:59] So I'm originally from the Caribbean,

[00:41:01] from the Virgin Islands.

[00:41:03] My brother and I, we're doing some work down there.

[00:41:05] We have a fuel distribution business

[00:41:07] down there in the islands.

[00:41:08] And a year and a half in, we're doing quite well.

[00:41:14] I applaud my brother for the work

[00:41:15] that he's been putting in his growth over the years.

[00:41:18] He's six years older than me.

[00:41:19] And he is someone who, and I'm 46.

[00:41:22] So he is someone who is doing the thing

[00:41:25] that he always wanted to do at this point in life.

[00:41:29] And he's happy, even with all the challenges.

[00:41:33] So for people who are building their businesses and stuff

[00:41:35] and you think like, oh, it's taking so long, listen.

[00:41:38] You can get in there anytime you want to

[00:41:41] and play the game, it's beautiful.

[00:41:43] So I'm doing that.

[00:41:44] And tonight I'm getting ready to go on spring break

[00:41:47] with my kids.

[00:41:48] I'm gonna drive to Asheville

[00:41:50] and have some fun for a little bit.

[00:41:51] Oh, I love Asheville.

[00:41:53] Asheville is awesome.

[00:41:54] It is awesome.

[00:41:55] But being able to do those things with my family,

[00:41:58] that's a blessing man.

[00:42:00] So I treasure those moments.

[00:42:02] I'm gonna be present, I'm gonna play,

[00:42:03] I'm gonna have fun, I'm gonna be a dad,

[00:42:05] I'm gonna be a father, spouse, a friend.

[00:42:08] And then come back and hit it again.

[00:42:10] Awesome.

[00:42:11] We frequent Asheville often.

[00:42:13] I have a house about an hour and 45 minutes from Asheville.

[00:42:16] It's a must-taste now.

[00:42:17] Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina.

[00:42:22] The little corner.

[00:42:23] Yeah.

[00:42:24] Yeah, yeah, cool.

[00:42:25] So we love Asheville.

[00:42:26] Yeah, it's beautiful like that.

[00:42:27] Awesome.

[00:42:28] So if you wanna find out more

[00:42:29] or where you can find the book,

[00:42:31] we will have all of that in the show notes as well.

[00:42:34] And so guys, that is a wrap.

[00:42:37] But I wanna thank everybody for listening.

[00:42:40] If you enjoyed the podcast,

[00:42:42] please make sure to share it

[00:42:43] with any business friends, entrepreneurs

[00:42:45] that may be struggling when it comes

[00:42:47] to that journey that we call business.

[00:42:50] Again, thank you for listening.

[00:42:51] If you wanna find other episodes,

[00:42:53] you can find them on LibbyD.com

[00:42:55] and that's a wrap into the heart of Fearlessness.

[00:42:57] Remember, every step we take

[00:42:59] is a move towards our own strength and courage.

[00:43:03] Keep walking through those fires

[00:43:05] because on the other side lies a version

[00:43:06] of ourselves that's unstoppable.

[00:43:09] I'm Libby reminding you to embrace Fearlessness.

[00:43:11] Until next time, stay brave,

[00:43:13] stay bold and keep pushing forward.

[00:43:15] I love it.