089: You Can’t Outwork Burnout

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_04] What's going on, everybody? David Noe with SpeakEasy HR, presented by Payroll Partners. We are back for a brand new episode, brand new guest. And this is one that I feel like anybody can learn from, whether you are in HR or something else, or athletics, or raising kids. Like there's just a lot of people that this topic and this guest can connect to. So I am thrilled to have for Episode 89 Ivy Watts. Welcome Ivy. How are you today?

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_02] I'm good. I'm good. How are you?

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_04] I am doing well. It is the fall here in Kentucky, so it's getting very crisp outside in the mornings. And it's just love to be outside at this time of year. I feel like we're having better fall weather than we have. Usually it goes from like 100 to 30 very quickly. So I don't know if it's like that where you are. You're in Eastern Massachusetts, right?

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, and that's 20 minutes south of Boston. And yeah, the fall is coming here nicely, but we got hit like it was like 90 degrees and then like immediately went down to 50, which felt like a huge shift. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not prepared.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. Yeah. We had a hot, hot end of summer. And but yeah, it's, you know, just thinking that it's October already. It just is crazy to me that it's the fourth quarter and in our world with payroll and HR tech. People are trying to make changes and get everything ready for January of 27, which is crazy.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_04] So, so I appreciate you coming on. I know we've connected a couple of times before today and really, you know, really excited to hear more about your background and what led you to do this kind of work. So if you just for people that don't know your story, if you want to kind of go back and kind of tell everyone about, you know, what you what you were wanting to do when you were younger and probably it's different than what you're doing now. But share a little bit more about your background.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, absolutely. So I live in Massachusetts. I grew up here. What I wanted to be when I was younger, I think I was one of those kids who didn't really have like a clear idea of what I wanted to do. But I went to school. I went to University of New Haven in Connecticut. I went to school for forensic psychology and quickly realized that the forensic part was not for me. So I dropped the forensic part and just went into general psych. I was also a track athlete. So that was really like the big thing for me.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_02] I was really focusing on being the athlete versus just the student. And yes, I mean, the psychology background that I had really has suited me now in the mental health work that I'm doing. But for me, it was just kind of like a means to an end because track was such a focus for me. And then I went to Boston University afterwards to get my master's in public health. And that's what brought me a little bit more into deeper into the mental health world.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_02] And after all my struggle with my mental health and just wanting to break the stigma is what brought me into doing something I definitely would have never thought I was would have been doing. I remember my mom used to tell me like, you have to take a public speaking class. And I'm like, no, I'll never need it. And she was right. I did need it because now I speak to like thousands of people at a time.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_04] So yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I played Division One golf and definitely I'm not doing what I thought I would be. I wanted to be a marine biologist and I want to be a professional golfer and just did not work out that way. Now I'm doing a podcast on HR. Yeah. So among other things. So you had an incredible start to your career. It sounds like all American student athlete, top 30 finalists of the NCAA Women of the Year Award.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_04] So take so take us back to that season of your of your life. You know, what did you think your future was going to look like at that point of your of your life?

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, so definitely I, you know, I'm grateful that I had a great track career in college and in high school as well. Definitely never thought that I would like go professional or anything like that. But definitely was was struggling deeply with my mental health at that point. And nobody was really talking about mental health. So I think I was so just like kind of stuck in the like push through athlete mentality, which really kind of just like fueled a lot of what I had done for the many years afterwards as well.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_02] But in that period, like I really did just look like I was this athlete that had it all together. And that's what people saw. I wanted people to see me as perfect. I grew up having a perfectionist mindset like many of us do and said that if I wasn't perfect, if I wasn't reaching the goals that I had for myself that I was really attaching myself worth to that, I would be a failure. And so, you know, I was trying to do everything that I was told. Right.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_02] And living under that kind of those expectations and the pressures, but had this intense anxiety, negative self-talk, low self-esteem that kept me from reaching the goals that I had for myself that I said were perfect. So that's why even though I looked like I was perfect and I had all these things going for me, they really didn't mean much to me, which just only fueled the mental health challenges that I had as a student and an athlete. So that time for me was really challenging.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_02] And I think I just really masked it well from a performance perspective, but also from like a smiling, happy, like looking like I'm a happy person. And I think just really speaks to the fact that we just never talked about mental health. And so for me, it was something to be ashamed of. It was something that I should just keep it on the inside. I just felt like, you know, I needed the world to see me as perfect. If I talked about my mental health, I would be seen as weak, especially as a student athlete where you're really just expected to push through and not be weak. You need to be strong.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_02] And so that was really what that time period looked like of just really struggling in silence.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. So you all you have written a book. So with my current journey of writing a book, I'm always fascinated to hear about authors journeys, especially with their first book. And so we do have a contest for those watching. We are live on LinkedIn and YouTube. If you are watching, put the word burnout in the comments section. If you can't listen to the whole thing live, that's OK.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_04] You have 24 hours to put that word in the comments section and be in for a free copy of Ivy's book. So tell us about your your journey of writing a book.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. So I published my book in 2022. I actually started writing it in 2022 as well. So it was a pretty fast process for majority of my time as a mental health speaker. First couple of years I have been blogging. So I have a blog. I don't blog as much, but I had a blog called Beautifully Simply You. And it was really just being vulnerable about my own struggle because vulnerability was the biggest reason that I got help for myself.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_02] And so I had a lot of blogs in there that I pulled from and molded to create parts of the book as well, which helped with some of the writing process as well. But I wrote my book with my newborn baby in my baby carrier. She would be napping as I'd be typing away. But my book is really focused in on 12 life lessons that my mom who passed away left me with. And each life lesson I take to help you to put your own.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_02] I put my own spin on it to help you to find your own sense of self-love, self-worth and joy. So it's really focused in on mental wellness and self-care. So it's an honor of my mom, but also a way to help you feel more connected to yourself.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, that's amazing. I would definitely not relate to that from losing a mother, but just the lessons that I feel like she has taught me and my parents and other people that have helped influence me. So that's that's amazing. Thanks. Thanks for sharing that. And, you know, definitely people that haven't checked that out or haven't connected to you on LinkedIn definitely would suggest doing that.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_04] So if you can't watch all of this live, like I said, put the word burnout looks like we have our first in here. So thanks, Donna. So you are in for the drawing. So tell me about some of the advice you've been given in your career. You know, what what was maybe one of the biggest pieces of advice you've you've taken and have really applied that you look back and think that that's something that really just helped shape you?

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_02] I probably bring it back to advice my mom gave to me. And one of the biggest things I think was just she used to say, like, pack your patience when I was driving in traffic. And I think that's just like really applicable to all things in life, especially in business. It's actually like pack your patience because, you know, the journey is not going to be easy, easy and it's not going to be linear. But giving yourself like patience and grace and love and pauses along the way.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_02] I mean, I think that speaks so much to like what I try to embody when it comes to mental wellness as an entrepreneur, because it's just always something there's always things going on. And so, yeah, I would say that's the biggest thing is like just being patient with the process has been some of the best advice I try to apply to my day to day life.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_04] Absolutely. All right. We're going to shift gears and play what I call the world famous envelope icebreaker game. So think of a number one through 15 as we transition. And we'll take that here in a second. All right. These are fun questions.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_04] Nothing too serious just to kind of break into the conversation a little more. So one through 15. So pick a number and.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_01] Let's go with 11.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_04] 11. All right. Number 11. We got. All right. If you could swap jobs with any character from a TV show or a movie for one day, who would it be and why?

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_01] This is the worst question that I could answer because I do not watch a lot of TV or movies. I watch a lot of reality TV. Oh, my goodness. That is a really tough question for me to answer. Like, can I change my answer?

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_04] We can change the we can change the envelope. We can. Let's let's go to another envelope.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_01] OK, let's go to number seven then. OK, seven. Hopefully this is all right. TV related. All right.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_04] What's what's a TV show or movie you quote way too often?

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_01] OK, OK, OK. I can do that one. I can do that one. OK.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_02] Love and basketball is like one of my favorite movies from like when I was like a teenager. So I feel like I know like every single word of that. Like I could recite the whole movie to you right now.

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_04] I won't do that. But awesome. Yeah, I have a mini air horn that's pretty much broken now. So I got I got to get a new one. I've I've out. I've used this thing for like the last year on this show. So well done. I don't prepare guests for that because I don't give them those questions. So fun thing to do. So we are live on LinkedIn and YouTube.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_04] If you are watching, thanks for spending part of your Monday with us. I am with Ivy Watts, mental health speaker. And before we came on live, she was telling me about, you know, her travels and just where she goes around the country. So, you know, do you have from your travels this year any any favorite spot you went to any any event or any destination that kind of stands out?

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, so I'm grateful. I have a really great partnership with the NCAA. So do a lot of work in college athletics. So I get to go out and work with them. I'm in their headquarters in Indianapolis every year and work with a lot of student athlete leaders. And that's always really fun because they're like the ones in the school in the school that want to make a difference around mental health. So it's always like a really engaging, fun conversation. So those always stand out. And I go out there a couple of times every year.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. Very good. Good deal. Well, just a few messages from our presenting sponsor payroll partners. And then we're going to get into this topic. You can't outwork burnout. So hang tight for one minute and we'll see you here soon.

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[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_04] All right. So we are going to shift into the top shelf topic for episode 89. So we are with Ivy Watts, mental health speaker. And just to kind of warm up a little bit as you do in, you know, athletics, you warm up, you get ready for the for the game, for the match, whatever you're doing. This is rapid fire questions, Ivy. So this is the five to ten seconds quick answers.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_04] So number one, stress or burnout? Which one gets confused for the other more?

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_02] I would say that people often see themselves as stressed and don't realize that it's actually burnout.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_04] Biggest burnout red flag, exhaustion, irritability or losing motivation.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_02] Losing motivation, being withdrawn is often the biggest warning sign.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. Can you actually push through burnout?

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01] I guess you could, but it's just going to make it worse.

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_04] One thing people should stop doing when they're feeling burned out.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_02] I think they should stop pushing through and give themselves more compassion, grace. Yep.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_04] All right. Last one. One thing people should start doing today to protect themselves from burnouts.

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_02] Not waiting to take care of themselves, starting to practice self care right now.

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_04] Yep. Awesome. Well, thank you for playing rapid fire questions. No, no TV quotes or no TV shows that you got to relate to that. So that's good there. So let's talk about this topic that you're bringing today. And let's start with the phrase, you cannot work burnout. What does that mean to you? And why do high performers struggle so much with accepting that they can't simply push through it?

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_02] So I think the biggest thing is like in our society, we've just often been taught that we have to push through. We have a definitely have a hustle culture. And so for many of us that are high achieving, we are wanting to do more and be more. And there's nothing wrong with having goals. But for many of us, when we have our self worth attached to those goals, we often are feeling like we're not doing enough, that we're a failure. And that's exactly how I felt when I was a high performing track athlete.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_02] And so, so many of us, because we have this mentality that's been taught to us to keep pushing and keep doing more within we then apply that to burnout. And the issue is that a lot of us don't even realize that we are actually burnt out because again, we're just kind of producing. And when you know your job so well, or you know how to work really hard under pressure, you're going to be able to keep going. And so we often think, well, it's not a big deal or someone else has it worse. And when you do that, the problems just end up growing and growing.

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_02] So our emotions have to come out in some way. And so if you're not taking space for yourself and taking the time for yourself, not waiting for a two week vacation, but doing the day to day work, then it's going to end up coming up and manifesting where it is really hard for you to get through your day. You don't like the work that you used to love to do and you don't feel connected to yourself and you're irritable and all of these different pieces. And so it's natural to think that we can outwork burnout because we've been able to do that in so many other parts of our lives.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_02] But it just makes the problem and the cycle perpetuate and grow. And I often liken it to like this hamster wheel that you just kind of keep chasing. You're chasing like the rest, you're chasing the validation, you're chasing the promotion, but you never really take that step off the hamster wheel. And so eventually you're just really dizzy and you're not really sure where to turn. And so, yeah, that's what I would say. We just kind of apply the same mentality.

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. So talk to the leaders who are listening to this. So what are some of those early warning signs of burnout that leaders and managers tend to overlook?

[00:18:45] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, I would definitely say the biggest one is withdrawal. So especially if you see someone who used to be like super engaged, someone who used to be always talking in meetings or sharing their ideas. And now they're just really not present or they're not coming to work as much or, you know, that that withdraw is a really big one when someone is struggling with burnout or with their mental health. And that irritability is also a big one, too, as I mentioned, like the emotions have to come out in some way.

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_02] And we all know that we've been guilty of that as kind of snapping at someone we care about or we love when we're not taking care of ourselves in that way. And that's a big one as well. I would say anytime like the productivity starts to dip is a big one as well. And just just when someone just really doesn't seem like themselves and they just seem like they don't want to be there, I think from the opposite end of like, can we outwork burnout?

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_02] A lot of people then take in the mindset of right the stigma that comes along with mental health problems. And instead of addressing the issue and trying to give space for self-care or mental wellness, the flip side comes in and starting to label with some of those negative labels. And then we just want the person to push even harder versus meeting them where they're at. So it's really being able to notice and then take take action to make changes.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. So I am live with Ivy Watts. We're on LinkedIn and YouTube. If you are watching live, definitely put the word burnout in the comments section so that you can be a part of the contest for a free copy of Ivy's book. We've got another watching. I think that's my sister. Hey, Betsy. So she is able to catch your episodes.

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_04] So thanks for joining. And so Ivy in HR. So this is, you know, obviously in my world being in HR for two decades, you know, we talk a lot about employee engagement, productivity, performance. So how do you distinguish between someone who is simply having a difficult, stressful period and someone who may be actually be experiencing that burnout? I know you talked about the, you know, other early warning signs.

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_04] So, you know, is there anything else that that people should be looking out for and how do they maybe or what what would be your advice on how to approach that person when they feel like they need to as well?

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. So the biggest thing is to realize that we we all are going to experience stress, right? That's not something that's going to go away. And so stress is normal in work and in life. So stress will come and it will go. So we think about stress as like you walk into a meeting and then your boss gives you another project and you feel really stressed about it. But then you're able to still function through the rest of the day. And you think about burnout as you walk into that meeting, your boss gives you another project. It completely ruins the rest of your day. You feel so disconnected from yourself.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02] You kind of start spiraling into a little bit of a depression and that it's hard for you to eat a meal later that day. It's hard. Like so it becomes this chronic piece when it's burnout and it cycles through every single day, whereas stress might be momentarily. So it's like a moment or two or it could be an hour longer, but the burnout continues on. So that's the biggest difference there. And when it comes to helping somebody, there's pieces you can do in the moment of just checking in with someone.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_02] But I also think it's about peeling the layers back about what you can create on a systems levels change, just really support employees because just checking in and asking the question, how are you? Especially when that safety hasn't been created yet that the employee might not yet say I'm having a terrible time and because they might be afraid of what that might mean for them.

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_02] So it really is creating the foundation of creating a space where employees can feel safe to speak up and know that there are resources that exist for them at their workplace, how to use those resources, how to get in touch with those resources. I think the biggest thing for employers to know is that they're not meant to have all of the answers.

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_02] They're not mental health professionals, but it is really important to create those safe spaces where employees feel safe to open up and to know that there isn't going to be any punishment for saying I'm really overwhelmed right now. I'm feeling really burnt out and there can be a plan put in place to support that employee. So, of course, we can always check in if we notice someone is struggling and we should. We should ask them how they're doing and even asking how can I support you? I've noticed that you've been a little withdrawn lately.

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_02] You know, how can I support you in that? How can I kind of take some of this burden off of your back for you? Or, you know, if I like a big thing, too, is being vulnerable. You know, if you're if you've ever struggled before, because we all have. Right. You know, I've also been burnt out before. I've also been stressed before at the workplace. And when I'm stressed, when I'm burnt out, this is what I do to help me, whether it's talking to a therapist or doing a meditation or going for a walk.

[00:23:42] [SPEAKER_02] The more vulnerable we can be, the more we break the barriers that exist for someone who's afraid to speak up because of the stigma, because of the culture that we have.

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. So you're a somatic coach, which would be potentially unfamiliar to some people listening. So what does that mean? And how can something as simple as movement or paying attention to your body help when you're under stress?

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. So you can think about somatics is like body based healing. So therapy is like the talk based healing. And so a beautiful, powerful tool to talk about what you're going through can be really powerful, especially when we're so used to keeping everything inside and on a chest. And as I mentioned, that's going to build and cause more problems later on. So somatics is really about listening to the wisdom of your body. When we are stressed, we go into fight or flight mode.

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_02] The tension that we feel, the trauma that we feel, if we don't process it, ends up getting stored in our body. So think about chronic pain. Think about tightness in your jaw. If you clench your jaw or your hips, your shoulders that are always up here throughout the day. And so somatics is about connecting back with your body so you can release that stored tension and live life with more ease. So in somatic work, we do a lot of like mindful, intentional movements to help to release tension in those particular areas.

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_02] And in my talks that I do, I always bring in a somatic tool. It's called emotional freedom technique tapping. And it's the act of tapping on different points on your body. And when you do that, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is essentially the part of your nervous system that puts you into a more restful, calm state. And it actually helps to reduce stress by about 50%.

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_02] And when you tap on these different parts of your body, any kind of rhythmic motion is really powerful for your nervous system to help your body feel like it's not being chased by a threat when that when your boss gives you an additional task on your plate. So it's really about connecting back with your body. And it's a really powerful way to to heal and process your emotions versus just talking about it and being able to see how we are connected with our words, but also with what's happening in our body.

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_02] Because when you think about when you get stressed, your heart starts pumping really fast, your breath is really going quickly. So it's really allowing yourself to come back into centeredness versus scattered and worried about the future or regretful about the past. So it just brings you back into this current moment.

[00:26:05] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. So I'm going to I'm going to point to some places and see if yeah, if these are places that you would suggest. So I've heard like this area karate chop.

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah.

[00:26:17] [SPEAKER_04] And then underneath your eyes.

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Right. Yeah.

[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_04] And over to the lobes and then like your chest like. Yeah.

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_02] Right.

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_04] So are those are there any other like areas that you try to just suggest people that want to try it that aren't used to that like in the morning like when when when and where would they want to try to do this just to.

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. Yeah. So you hit a bunch of them. So it's you can tap here in between the eyes, the temples underneath the eyes, underneath the nose, the chin, collarbone, top of the head and the. Okay. So there's a lot of great places. And the thing I love about this is like even something as simple as tapping your fingers, you can do that. And people don't have to necessarily know that you're trying to regulate your nervous system. Right. Or, you know, work through burnout in that moment. You're just simply tapping your fingers.

[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_02] And I think where you can do it, you can do this anywhere and anytime. So when you're stressed at work or when you're at home, you know, I really like to call them mindful moments. So it doesn't have to add more time to your day. It's just something you can do in the moment. So although this isn't a tapping point, like if you're sending an email and you're feeling really overwhelmed, like just tapping your heels on the ground can be a really powerful move. Again, that rhythmic motion helps the nervous system settle in while you're doing something that's stressful.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_02] So it what it does, it really increases your resiliency. So you're not just staying stuck in that stress mode. So you're letting your body know it's I have to do the stressful thing and I get to stay with myself and come down into regulation. So I would say any, anytime you can, anytime you're feeling stressed to really give yourself that moment to like down regulate and bring your body down. Yeah.

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_04] Okay. So just to make it really practical, you know, if someone listening right now says to themselves or to somebody, their family member, you know, I'm stressed, exhausted. I'm running on empty. You know, what are what are two or three things they could do today or next month to start changing that that you would suggest that they try?

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah. So kind of going back to the mindful moments piece, because I think a lot of times when we are burnt out, we feel like there's just way too much on our plate and there's just no time to add in anything else. So, of course, I have a list of things that I could suggest for you to do that can add more, you know, add more time to your day, but they're able to give you that spaciousness to be more productive. But I really love to encourage just taking the space to have mindful moments. So thinking about it as you are in the shower. Yeah.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_02] So when you're in the shower, instead of stressing about all the things you have to do later on that day, just like really simply feeling what it's like to have the water on your body or when you're washing dishes at the end of the night. Like you really just take a moment and be mindful and notice what it's like to have the water running on your hands or putting the hands in the dishwasher, putting the dishes in the dishwasher. So these mindful moments just really help to connect you back with this present moment, because as I mentioned, we're on that hamster wheel. We're always running towards something next. So coming back into this current moment can be a really powerful tool to do.

[00:29:20] [SPEAKER_02] And then any kind of movement is really huge. So if you can get outside and take a quick even 30 second pacing back and forth in your yard or in the parking lot of your organization or company is really, really huge just to give your body that reset. And just let the body know, like, I don't have to stay stuck in this moment that I'm in.

[00:29:42] [SPEAKER_02] And I think the most simple one that you can do truly at any time is just the power of a deep breath, but really making it an intentional long exhale because that's what really helps to regulate you and bring that stress down. So taking that long, deep breath and it's like you can take a moment and go to the bathroom, like actively get up, go to the bathroom, listen to your body when you have to go versus sending that additional email. And just take a moment and take a couple of long, deep breaths and just seeing how it doesn't fix the problem.

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_02] Right. The work is still going to be there. The hard times are still going to be there, but it allows you to show up more as your best. It allows you to show up a little bit more like yourself and less disconnected from yourself and more easeful through it all as well. So it's really just taking those moments in the time that you already have to make them mindful and focus in on your mental wellness, because that's what you deserve.

[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_04] You deserve to take that space for yourself. Right. Yeah. And I think, you know, getting the right amount of sleep, I feel like. Yeah. So important to, you know, there's sleep. You know, drinking fluids, right. Staying hydrated. There's just so many things that I feel like on a given day, if people are doing all those things on top of what you just mentioned with being in the shower and, you know, the, the, you know, areas that you, you know, just try to focus on and, and see if that will help.

[00:31:30] [SPEAKER_04] You know, you're more of a conversation that people aren't, you know, shy of talking about. And, and 10 years ago, like nobody was really talking about mental health. Um, they, they might've been, you know, there's EAP programs that companies offer. And, you know, I, I think this, the stats like under 5% of people actually use their EAP programs.

[00:31:50] [SPEAKER_04] So from an employer's perspective, what, what else on top of the, the manager may be having that conversation when they see some red flags, you know, is there anything else that, that companies, if, if somebody that is a leader or an owner of a business right now is thinking to themselves, what, what else should I be doing for my staff?

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_04] Um, you know, are there any, any suggestions or any advice that you could provide to them as a business owner and how to help provide that support to their staff?

[00:32:21] [SPEAKER_02] Yeah, definitely. I think starting off with the EAP piece, um, a lot of folks don't know that that resource exists for them or how to access it.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_03] Yeah.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_02] So I think any time that a team leader can express to their team, what the EAP is, what it's, how it serves them and how they can use the services, I think is a really powerful reminder. I think it does two things. Of course, it educates someone to break down the barriers of technology and how to get to the EAP and how to access it. But the more that it is reiterated to them, it becomes a service that they know that they can use without shame and that they can use without judgment or without punishment. And so that I think is a really big part of it as well.

[00:33:03] [SPEAKER_02] So it's anything we do with mental health and burnout prevention is a consistency. So it's not just handing a flyer, you know, during onboarding and then never talking about it again. It's about having the consistency so that the message is conveyed that my mental health, my burnout prevention is cared about here. And so I deserve to take this step for myself. And I think also employers can also implement self care into the day to day. So any meetings that you have before you dive right into all of the agenda items that you need to go over.

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_02] Right. There's so much. You might only have the hour, but giving even just two minutes of space and time to that self care tool can be the difference that allows the rest of the team to feel more empowered to engage during that hour and then be a more productive part of the team afterwards. And so a lot of people don't know self care tools. They don't know how to use them. So just actively not just saying like, oh, meditation is a great tool.

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_02] OK, now let's go into number one task number one. It's like, what can we just start off with a quick 30 second meditation together to ground us all in together? Or maybe it's something like how you did, like you have questions and just making a space that feels inclusive and fun as well as connecting and releasing so that people, again, get that message I'm cared about here.

[00:34:16] [SPEAKER_02] And that does truly make such a difference. It's something that I wish I had had from my coach to be seen as more than just an athlete and to really be checked in on and to have space to know like this was a safe space. I didn't have to just come here just to talk about my sport. I got to also come here and talk about me and what I'm experiencing. And so that that continuous door that's opened, eventually someone will feel empowered to walk into it.

[00:34:42] [SPEAKER_02] And that can be such a difference, not only for burnout prevention, but to help to save someone's life if they're really struggling. So it makes such a big difference if we create the space for people.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_04] Right. What's something right now from a student athlete perspective? Are you really trying to get across to those individuals and the programs, the schools, the parents? I mean, youth sports. I have kids that are teenagers and youth sports are definitely different than they were when I was playing youth sports.

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_04] Probably the same with you. Like so are there common themes that you're seeing are becoming a topic of conversation when you're having these discussions with them?

[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_02] I think the biggest thing is just like the shift, like people want to have more conversations around mental health. People are more comfortable talking about that they're in therapy, which is so beautiful to see. I mean, I see it in the corporate space as well. You know, just people wanting to have these conversations. I think when I first started talking about mental health eight years ago, it just felt like this taboo topic. And it felt like it was like I was doing something groundbreaking when it really wasn't that groundbreaking. But it felt like it felt like that because nobody was talking about it.

[00:35:52] [SPEAKER_02] And so it's refreshing now that, you know, schools, you know, from middle schools to colleges to corporate, the corporate organizations are wanting to to have these conversations because they see the issues. And I think, you know, preventative issues is what we're leaning. I mean, sorry, preventative measures are what we're leaning more towards versus just waiting until something happens in a school or an organization to make a change. And so that's when I think the most powerful thing is like just people continuously wanting to keep having these conversations.

[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. I wrote a blog recently and it's more about loneliness in HR because I have felt it right. Like the people in HR that have to have those conversations that are very difficult, they have to be trying to get all the answers to leaders. And so there are a lot of ways that I feel like I'm not alone in this. And so this is a blog that basically talks about four ways to build your support system.

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_04] So if you are in HR, you don't have to be in HR. I think it can apply to any profession if you feel burned out, lonely. So check that out at speakeasyhr.com and see if it's anything that might create some ideas around your situation. So Ivy, you've worked with hundreds of thousands of people, student athletes to executives, you know, all those conversations.

[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_04] What is one thing you wish more people understood about mental wellness right now?

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_02] I think more, I wish more people understood just that there's like two things. I think that it's not shameful. It's something to be ashamed of to struggle because we're all human. And I think at the end of the day, if we can see that like we've all had a bad day, it's not something that you have to push through. It's something you get to meet yourself and give yourself more love.

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_02] I think, you know, with that being said, the second piece would be like you don't have to wait until you are so depleted and so burnt out to say, okay, now I need to do something for myself. I think one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is practicing self-care even on the best days. Because what it does, it allows you to know when you are struggling, what helps you versus kind of spinning your wheels at that point and not knowing what to do.

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_02] So if you know that taking a walk helps to reset you, if you know that journaling is your thing or taking that deep breath, when you practice that, even on the good days, it just sets that foundation for your mental health. So that when you go on those bad days that we will inevitably have, you'll know some tools to pull from with a little bit more ease. So it's not something to be ashamed of if you struggle with burnout or overwhelm. You're a human. There's so much on our plate. We have just often been conditioned to keep pushing and do more.

[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_02] But you deserve to take care of yourself and you don't have to wait until it's so overwhelming to do so. That's what I wish people knew.

[00:38:45] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. What's your stance on mentorship? I would assume that you've had, maybe not, a mentor in your life that has helped you along the way. Maybe your mom. You know, there's so many ways that I feel like the more and more I stay in HR, the more and more I hear about mentorship in the organizations and reverse mentorship. So like the younger generations teaching the older generations and vice versa. So like where do you stand with mentorship in your work?

[00:39:14] [SPEAKER_02] Oh, absolutely. I'm a huge advocate of mentorship. I think, you know, the more that you can see someone and look up to them and see how they've, you know, how they're modeling for you. Especially, I think, when it comes to mental health and burnout prevention. I think that's just a huge piece of it all. I mean, I think back to the mentors that I've had in my life that I wish I had when I was in high school or college when I was struggling so deeply.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_02] And how they've made such a difference in my life now and continue to make a difference in my life to help me to feel less alone. I think that's the biggest piece is we walk through life and we often do just feel like we're alone. We're the only person that's experiencing that particular thing. And when you have a mentor who's walked a similar journey, it helps you to feel less alone and then empowered to know that you can too. You can keep going and you can build in that resilience and you can find a way to move through the challenge or to, you know, build the thing or whatever it is that you're trying to do.

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_02] And just that mentorship is huge. Yeah.

[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_04] We are live on LinkedIn and YouTube with Ivy Watts, mental health speaker. I've got two more questions. If anyone watching live has a question, throw it in the chat. Would love to hear from you as well. So if someone listening believes that they have to keep pushing because that's just, there's just too much to do, you know, what, what would you say to them directly in this moment in their, in their life right now?

[00:40:35] [SPEAKER_02] Hmm. That it's safe to take a pause. It's safe to take that moment for yourself. I often refer to the moments as pockets, like pockets of time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Right. So there, of course, are things you have to do. Like, I get it. I am a single mom. I own two businesses. Like, there's always stuff to do. And so I'm never, you know, in that space to tell people, you know, you're take things off your plate. Right. Because it's sometimes impossible. Right. When you have all these things you have to get done.

[00:41:05] [SPEAKER_02] But it's about finding the pockets, the pockets of time that you can pause, that you can slow down. And it really comes down to knowing that you are worthy and deserving of that. Because I think a lot of us, again, just kind of think that someone else has a worse or that we don't deserve to take care of ourselves or that we just need to wait because everything else and everyone else comes before us. But can you find that pocket just to pause and even just bring your hand to your heart and, like, feel your heart beating underneath your hand and just remind yourself that you are here. You are alive. You are deserving of being here.

[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_02] And you're deserving of taking that pause for yourself. So it's not an all or nothing. There's always going to be more to do. But you don't have to hustle through it so much that you lose yourself and all of it. So those pockets help you to come back to yourself, stay connected. And that ultimately allows you to show up better versus showing up depleted.

[00:41:54] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. All right. Final question. If you could put one sentence on every wall in America about burnout, mental wellness, what would it say?

[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_02] I would say – or it would say it's okay to not be okay, but you don't have to stay there. You're worthy of seeing the other side.

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah. That's awesome. I got to get a new one. I've been using it too much. Well, this has been awesome. I feel like every time I have a guest, I learn a little bit more about the topic and the guest. And so just I applaud you for what you're doing. I feel like there's a need for this. And I think it's not going to go anywhere.

[00:42:42] [SPEAKER_04] So I think you definitely have a space to really impact other people, people that were in your shoes probably back when you were in school, trying to figure out things. And so definitely wish you all the best in your future travels and speaking. And definitely for those listening, check out Ivy's work. Go to LinkedIn and connect with her.

[00:43:08] [SPEAKER_04] Anything else that you want to add or anything that you have coming up that you want to promote?

[00:43:15] [SPEAKER_02] No, I'm thankful for this opportunity. And if anybody ever is looking for a burnout prevention speaker, I'm happy to come to your organization and share more of these tools to empower your team.

[00:43:24] [SPEAKER_04] Yeah, definitely. Well, best of luck. Have a good rest of your year. And let's stay in touch. And appreciate you sharing all that you did today. This has been fantastic. And thanks, everyone, for tuning in. We'll be back next week. Brand new guest, brand new episode for episode 90. And we'll talk to you all then. Have a great rest of your day. See you later, Ivy.

[00:43:45] [SPEAKER_02] Bye. Thank you.

[00:43:46] Bye.