Lost Tapes: What's in your vocabulary at work?

[00:00:00] Hi, before we begin, allow myself and Brian to extend a warm welcome to you for joining us on another episode. Today's episode was created from a series that we called Safe Talk, and we're releasing this episode for the first time.

[00:00:13] While its focus is on vocabulary in the workplace, it does indeed contain very sensitive information and topics that may be triggering to some. If your discretion is advised. Remember, its our goal here to educate, empower and uplift.

[00:00:31] But we also feel that it's our duty to inform you of things that should not be tolerated in the workplace. You matter. Thank you. Exactly, but it takes those rightful conversations to get through it.

[00:00:44] And I think we'll say crucial conversations a lot in this show because it is a lot about that. Welcome back folks. This is episode number four of Safe Talk. What's good? Hey, I'm excited for this one man. I'm good. I'm good to go. I'm happy man.

[00:01:02] I'm looking forward to this conversation about vocabulary in the workplace. I'm sure we're going to have some maybe even a little spirited debate. It might not be a long episode. No, I don't think it's a long episode. Yeah exactly.

[00:01:17] I'm excited for this one because I think this is something that definitely needs to be talked about and something that we need to really focus on because I think a lot of people tolerate certain conversations in the workplace because of fear,

[00:01:35] of retaliation, because of fear of certain things and they don't stick up for themselves or whatever. I like that. This is something that it's going to be a good show. So what about you man?

[00:01:47] Love all these topics. I love the place. I love having this safe place to talk and feel like I can't wait to get folks over here. That's one of the things that I think makes it safe.

[00:02:00] You intentionally want to be a part of this show and listen to the show and see what you can glean from it, laugh, cry, get angry, get worry, get smart. I don't know. All the feels. I think all the feels will come from these type of shows

[00:02:14] and I think that's just good stuff. Those are good conversations. Those are, I feel like we can't be attacked or targeted from work situation because being a podcaster now and still having a nine to five

[00:02:29] is something. In other, I have a colleague that has a similar situation and it's like it creates, it could create a situation for you at work. It's just, and I don't want to talk about, I'm a very first, I love my current job.

[00:02:46] Very respectful of it. No complaints. So I don't ever want them to feel like, oh man, Brian's talking crazy. No, but as a human you still have feelings, you still go through things. You know what I mean? Just like being in a good relationship,

[00:02:59] right? You're still going to have bad days where it's like- Somebody's going to get bent out of shape. I feel a certain type of way. Somebody's going to make a joke and then somebody's not going to like the joke.

[00:03:10] And I meant to tell you, my wife tells me all the time, no, just your jokes don't hit sometimes. They're just bad times and she's, her and my daughter gets so mad at my jokes.

[00:03:19] Or honestly, my whole everybody. That and it's just a part in it. I just have to navigate. You and I as even in our professional and personal relationship, Brian, I have said certain things that I didn't know were sensitive. Yes. Is sensitive to. Yeah.

[00:03:37] Not saying that you're a sensitive person, but there's certain topics and subjects that I didn't have a bad story. I didn't have context on. Yeah. But when I made a joke with you about it, you were like, that's not funny.

[00:03:48] Like don't say that because, yeah, almost lost somebody because of that. Yep. In the situation. And I didn't know that and I was like, oh. Exactly. But it takes those right conversations to get through it.

[00:03:59] And I think we'll say crucial conversations a lot in this show because it is a lot about that. That is a book as well. If you don't know folks, it's a great book and something that should be

[00:04:09] read and reread. I think I'm about time for me to reread our audio book, whatever you're audio, but yes, or read consume because they do have audio. Now, I forget about audios now. Oh, Spotify has audio books on it now. Yes. There you go.

[00:04:23] So but they are up charges. Some of them are like, I was like a word click and then it was like, oh, okay, got it. Yeah. Some of them are. We do our book. It might be on Spotify. So there you go.

[00:04:34] For sure. For sure. Shout out to I have a colleague of mine that I worked with that just dropped a book on Amazon from Pierre to Supervisor by Lorraine Montalvo. I think that's her last name on the Lorraine Montal if I messed it up. Sorry, Lorraine.

[00:04:49] It's close enough girl, but I'll look it up before the end of the show. But anyway, go check that out. Like I'm no authors and stuff like, oh, Christina Valer dropped a book. Christina Valer dropped a book.

[00:05:00] We have a teacher that is in the endeavor school systems that wrote kids to kids books, I think right now. Tisha Cobb. Yeah. We can own authors and stuff. Yo, Tabitha Brown. Shout out to Tabitha Brown went to middle school with Tabitha

[00:05:16] North Carolina. Awesome. Amazing energy. Anita Latink. Well, you know, in authors out here, yo, it's awesome. But today again, that's again, this is why I love this. And now a word from our sponsor, Time Track Go.

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[00:06:25] to qualify for your first month free. Let's go. Let's go. You dropped a nice quote here. You want to share that with us? Yes. So I was looking for quotes because this is about vocabulary conversations in the workplace. So just wanted to find a quick quote about speaking

[00:06:45] to others. So it's an unknown source. If you know who the source is, please let us know. So the quote is, if speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.

[00:07:01] For me, it puts things a perspective like even when you have those crucial conversations, you have to hold that respect. Don't dehumanize someone in a conversation, even if it's a tense conversation. Don't disrespect them. Don't call them out their name. I've been in

[00:07:21] workplaces and environments where HR professionals were talking to me and they said some shady stuff to me. I had a bad boss and I went to go complain about it to the HR team and this person

[00:07:34] regurgitated exactly what my boss said. Oh, your boss did. Your boss said that. So yeah, I do see that. And then immediately she caught herself because she was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't

[00:07:46] say that. Wow. Yeah. This is true, man. Look, this is something that I have struggled with for more of my life than not because I don't know, I can make excuses wherever I go. New York,

[00:08:02] Latino family, you got to fight. You got to stand up for your stuff. You got to be quick with it. You got to be tough skin. So for me, it was like, what's that saying? All's fair and love and war.

[00:08:13] So I felt like if we're fighting, if something makes me mad, then I can be that. I can be sharp and I can be aggressive. And that's not true. You know what I mean?

[00:08:25] And my wife for the longest is, yo, it's not what you're saying. It's how you say it. It's how you say it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And with kids, I say, my kid, I still struggle with

[00:08:34] that still to this day is what I'm saying for more of my life than not. I think I'm a lot better now, but I still struggle because it's about their interpretation of what you're saying. Your intent behind it could be from a place of love, care, concern.

[00:08:50] Family. I got to protect family. I got to provide, do my portion of the providing and protect them to perform at a certain level. I expect a level of progress. This is

[00:09:02] not we not about to sit down and chill here and just watch. Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan, right? Jordan of this team makes the wrong way. I'm not saying that to the point that we should be like

[00:09:12] to that point where he's better than face. It's examples and extremes. Yeah, of course. You know what I'm saying? Michael Jordan was considered the greatest of all time to go and think about all it took for him to be successful and for him to have that standard.

[00:09:26] Like you're saying of winning, of being your best, playing your best, doing the best, sacrificing for your team and stuff like that going on, giving your all. And he led by example. And sometimes the way we do that, the way we think is best is

[00:09:40] may not necessarily be best. So we're going on a rabbit hole here. We have five points we're going to give. We're going to give you. Brian, you want to start off with

[00:09:47] the first two? And then I finish it off. Sure. So the first so basically the bringing it back to the show topic is vocabulary in the workplace. If you missed the first three shows, we've already

[00:09:56] got three in the hole like you can ready to go and we talk about integrity and authenticity. So it's like it's more of that conversation and it's very important to work. It's so critical

[00:10:06] to work. So the first one is profanity in the workplace. I think this is the should be generally discouraged. It creates discomfort, offense colleagues undermines professionalism. I think that is true. The breakdown of this is profanity can lead to

[00:10:22] misunderstandings, conflict damage main and then basically we should maintain a professional tone and avoid profanity offensive language in both verbal and written communication at the workplace. Absolutely. And you need to know who your audience is right? You need to know what you're

[00:10:39] speaking with because there may be somebody you connect with who may drop an expletive in their conversation and they're okay with that. I may allow to give you space. They may preface their statement by saying, Hey excuse my French. Drop a curse word in there because

[00:10:55] some days are you have your days when you're at work, especially in corporate, you're like, man, this is some BS. This is a lot. Yeah, you have those days. But you need to know who you're dealing with because there's some people, no matter what their background is,

[00:11:11] like you say somebody who doesn't believe in profane language, you have to be careful not to do that around them because they may get offended by that. So yeah, great point there.

[00:11:23] And I think this is, I love the quote because now it all ties right back into that quote, right? Because this is not just to not just be the workplace. This should be how you behave period. They say people who curse can articulate don't have the vocabulary

[00:11:42] to articulate well. And I'm not now the other side of that is I get it. It's so natural to some, but I think it's something that should be very farce like you fuse it you threw it

[00:11:54] few and far apart. Right? Yes, because especially if you're a family person, like you have children, you have kids, you don't want them to have that type of mouth type of profanity want to be able

[00:12:05] to use proper words like expressive so as well. So just a little I think it's more than just a work tip. It's a life tip. All of this really is like great social behavior period great

[00:12:18] what's socially accepted and not an interacting with people and social and social construct school work families like all of it. The second one is aggressive or hateful speaking. Aggressive or hateful speech should be avoided can lead to hostile work environment negative

[00:12:35] impact into being yes. Yes, and harm teamwork. Yep, harm teamwork. Social behavior can result in disciplinary actions, workplace stress, this decreased job satisfaction. Yes, of course. And the guidance on this is express disagreements and concerns in a respectful and constructive

[00:12:54] manner promoting a more harmonious work atmosphere. Going back to what you said about this right those crucial conversations. Yeah. Oh, there no matter what environment you work in, somebody's going to say something or do something that's going to offend you or poke

[00:13:10] your button or push a button in some way somehow got somebody that's going to make a joke a ill time joke. Somebody's going to tell time statement and it's going to bring about offense.

[00:13:22] When those things happen, I think you need to I think you need to identify whether it's a one time occurrence or is this person is this a person's behavior and character is that something that they normally always do. Right. And those aggression moments, those aggressive moments

[00:13:41] usually happen in those tense conversations. Like when you're trying to counsel an employee, they may push back a little bit and get a little aggressive in their tone or how you respond because they're offended. Nobody likes to get critiqued on their job. Nobody likes to say,

[00:13:55] Hey, what is we walk over give me criticism. We still like, oh, still get we have to eat it with a sour going down. And so like the guidance on here, I love it because it says express

[00:14:07] disagreements and concerns in a respectful constructive manner. So even if you have to correct someone, you should always do it in a respectful and constructive manner promoting harmony in the work atmosphere, which is hard to do sometimes right. I love how you aggressively said it like doing respectful.

[00:14:31] You be an aggressive during this though, this one. So all of this right and I think, especially in the workplace, the younger generations have really changed the game as far as mandating a certain level of respect, a certain environment at the workplace.

[00:14:50] And I am not mad at them at all. It made it great, right? It created this work revolution where you have to make it comfortable for me here. If not, I don't need to work here.

[00:15:01] The things that work that we tolerated earlier in our careers, our parents, our parents. Yep. Think about the mad men. If you watch the show Mad Men, that's an extreme,

[00:15:12] like but that's how it was then. And if you see that then it took a long time to get away from that. And we're still getting away from that. We're a lot better now, but

[00:15:25] that generation is still alive and well. Kicking a lot. I mean, someone said they're making a comeback because some people have fatigue from these things or that's going around. Fatigue. They're calling it woke fatigue. Oh gosh. Oh, that's crazy. So in any event, it is about

[00:15:45] creating a safe space. I can't feel like this is anywhere you are, right? Creating that safe space. So let me ask you then, Brian, we'll put a pin in this until before we go to our next

[00:15:59] couple of topics really quick. Do you think that there's such a thing as overdoing that? I know you just praised the younger generation and the workers and stuff that aren't tolerating the things that we had to tolerate. But do you think you think that?

[00:16:16] Yes, of course. Anything can be overdone, sure. Yes, because like you could say oh, you could say there, you could just tell somebody, oh, that's a nice pin and somebody can get offended by that. Oh, I took, yeah, I took a class back in the day

[00:16:30] in microaggressions and I came out of there, this is stuff making up stuff to be mad at stuff. And I'm probably insulting people now. Now, microaggressions, that's it's real. No, it is real. It is real. And the perfect example is you people.

[00:16:51] Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I know how you people do. See? Whoa. Yes. What do you mean? What do you mean you people? Exactly. I can, I'm looking at you. I can mean ball heads. I know how

[00:17:04] you do. I know how you payroll people. I know how you tattoo people are all at. It's just you people. So it's a microaggression in people. You payroll industry people? I had somebody do that,

[00:17:16] do that to me. They, I said you people and I was thinking you payroll. I know how you people are payroll people, me included. And they went back and it was a thing and it was

[00:17:27] a thing. Yeah, it happens. It happens, man. I had a boss a couple of years ago who worked for this company where the boss said a couple of different things in front of other employees,

[00:17:41] like saying I was a waste of a man. Oh my God. I had another boss say I was stupid. Oh Lord. Other coworkers and stuff like that. What? Yes, literally. I had another boss say that

[00:17:55] people of color don't know. I remember that one. Yeah, yes. It's like that. And these are three different places. Wow. That I've been at in my career. Wow. Think about that. And these are people

[00:18:06] in leadership saying these things to an employee who's committed to that's crazy. That's crazy. Right? So I think there's a lot to this. We could probably go down a long road with this

[00:18:22] based on our experiences and stuff like that. But good stuff, man. Good stuff. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Number three, sexually charged comments. Summary, making sex charged comments are engaging in behavior of a sexual nature is unacceptable in the workplace. Inappropriate. Yep.

[00:18:44] Inappropriate behavior. Due to its potential to create a hostile environment, harm individuals and can lead to legal consequences. The impact this can result in harassment claims, legal liabilities and damage to personal and professional reputations.

[00:19:02] Guidance on this is to maintain a focus on work related topics and avoid any comments or actions of a sexual nature. Now with that being said, what you identify as a sexual nature could be totally different to someone. Absolutely. The opposite sex of the opposite

[00:19:20] on opposite spectrum or whatever it is, right? Yep. They could view it differently. Like I knew this one situation where I work for this company where this gentleman would walk around

[00:19:31] and he had a business. I think he had a side business where he was a masseuse. Oh my God. He would walk around, sojourn the ladies' shoulders like, oh, he seems so stressed without asking, without consent. This is in the time period where the consent stuff was really

[00:19:50] out there. Consent and culture. Yeah, exactly. He would just walk up behind a lady, massage on their shoulders and he touched the wrong person who had some trauma in their life in their

[00:20:02] past and he didn't get consent. And so he ended up having to get fired. Hell yeah. I'd be pissing you, talking to my wife, talking about, oh, I'm a masseuse. I'm just giving free samples.

[00:20:14] Seen like you're stressed. I'm sorry. See, I really am sorry. I'm sorry. No, but he ended up getting fired because he didn't, I think if he would have stopped when she had said no thank you,

[00:20:29] he would have been all right. He could have just got a slap on the hand. Hey, get consent first. His issue was because he was aggressive in it. Like he forced

[00:20:40] it on her. Just let me do it. Oh, so just let me do it. And so she felt pressured. Like she, if I recall correctly, she ended up going to the bathroom and people had to console her in

[00:20:51] the bathroom because it was triggering for her because of this that happened to her in her life. Damn. So any so please, if you're looking listen to the show, people, you have to make

[00:21:04] sure that your comments and your actions are not sexual in nature. And if someone asks you that you work with someone asks you even if you're in your personal life, if someone asks you to

[00:21:13] not do something because they perceive it to be a certain way, listen to them the first time. Don't badmouth them. Don't criticize them because of how they feel. That's their feelings, right?

[00:21:25] That's how they feel and that's how they perceive that. Yep. Yep. I got an example real quick. I'm sorry before you go. No, because they could so it's like the other extreme, right? And

[00:21:35] I thought I was being slick one year, Valentine's Day, right? And I went around the office with some chocolate kisses, Hershey's kisses. And I just went and gave given now offices mostly women.

[00:21:50] So I'm giving kids or whatever. Nothing had, right? Boom. That goes by. And I think it was like, I don't know after that sometime after a co worker was like commented on it on some

[00:22:03] yeah, Brian trying to be slick with those trying to be smooth with those Hershey kisses, whatever. And I didn't think anything up. I didn't think I didn't think anybody would it was so obvious when I was doing it because I was being like trying to be

[00:22:17] slick. Nobody's going to get this. And when she called it out, I was like, oh, wow. Damn, probably shouldn't have done that. People pick up on the intent behind stuff. Yes. People can feel it from some people can feel your energy. They did.

[00:22:34] There's something not sitting right with my spirit. No, and she yeah, and she definitely she probably yeah, she definitely felt the energy hours is out of special one for you. And also another thing just because somebody else

[00:22:50] makes a comment that maybe sketchy sexual nature or whatever doesn't give you the space or opening to do that. You're so hell. I've seen it happen where someone a group of people are we doing that? A group of people are two people having a conversation

[00:23:07] and they're in a sexual nature at work. And then you go make a joke about the same thing they're talking about. And they're like, Oh, you're gross. Thanks for sharing that. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Number four, insensitive comments. Insensitive comments can hurt colleagues

[00:23:30] feelings, create discomfort and need to misunderstandings. So it's crucial to be mindful of the impact of one's words going back to that quote at the top. If you speak kind of the plants and help them grow. Imagine what kind of impact that has when you speak kindly and

[00:23:46] respectfully to other humans. This can damage relationships, erode trust and create a negative workplace environment. Guidance on this is to practice empathy, cultural have cultural awareness and sensitivity to others perspectives to avoid

[00:24:07] insensitive remarks. A lot of times I think back in the day, a lot of times people would say certain things about a certain group of people, right? And they would talk down on them

[00:24:20] because there was a stigma behind whether you're a person of color or woman man. But that's the next one though. What? The next one is racially charged. Yeah, I'm gonna get to that but insensitive comments because it did say cultural awareness. So that's what I'm speaking to.

[00:24:37] So something that a holiday may come, right? Somebody may celebrate a certain holiday and or have a certain belief. And then you are saying derogatory stuff about this person's beliefs or their culture or whatever. And it's just wait a minute. Oh, but you know what I'm saying.

[00:24:56] How many times have we seen that? Oh, you know what I'm saying? Oh, you know what I'm saying, Brian. Oh, you know what I'm saying? You know it's not like that. You know what I mean. Yeah,

[00:25:03] they get it. Yeah, like that to try to buffer in and say oh, it was just a joke. Yeah. Right. And to your point, you wrote something here like this says what? Joking, right? Joking can be

[00:25:15] included here insensitivity overall I think it's again when you're in social constructs. It's these are it's like best practices that you have to follow because things if you they don't know you these things can be misinterpreted and you don't know the other

[00:25:34] person's life and struggle and what they're going through. So you throw off a off comment joke. And it's whoa, what? What did he say that can be insensitive as well that and again insensitive comments. That's what I was thinking when we first started it started talking about is

[00:25:50] the dangerous part is you don't even know what's going to trigger someone else. You don't even know what so it's be careful man. And yes that is ultimately what I was saying it wasn't but

[00:26:01] it's also ties back to the friends at work conversation we were having. Right. Because hey, yes you could end up having a friend at work and then yes eventually possibly right and that maybe you can have conversations with that. So yeah just that's such a tough one man

[00:26:20] that's a tough one. To your point about work friends and work relationships and all that stuff to your point it makes you just want to tread carefully when you're joking with them. You have

[00:26:30] to in social constructs period again I keep on relating is just because I think about my kids and I think about this and I think about that my joke my son will say something I'll be like

[00:26:39] yo you can't say that outside in public don't please believe that is only an inside joke the house joke and because they don't know they think yo and then even the TV some of the we

[00:26:50] heavily curb TV on some of the kids shows like all crazy bro the kids shows they're so disrespectful to the adults in the shows and if you know my wife pointed out something crazy they like look at

[00:27:03] this very little adult supervision in these shows. Oh and it's like that's not real life. There's a lot of sexual innuendoes. A ton. A ton. A ton and so again in sense so they're so desensitized we're so desensitized we want to talk about inappropriate all the time

[00:27:26] and it's not appropriate it's just not like you have to know your audience isn't that what you started with? You have to know your audience you have are they your friends are these people

[00:27:35] you want to do business with or what is it right? What is the nature of the relationship and then go accordingly? How many people say friend to me hey friend at work? Yeah oh my gosh those are the people

[00:27:47] like I immediately don't trust you when you start with that for real. I'm not that bad. I'm not that bad yes no I'm look I'm from New York I don't trust anybody period. But in my

[00:27:59] mind to your point in my mind I know hey I'm a work friend not a life friend right but see that's what this person means. I'm a worker like we talk and we work cordially at work we joke around

[00:28:14] while we're at work I'm not texting you outside of working. Fair but there's some people because no you're right and there is some people who may suffer from mental illness and mental

[00:28:28] wellnesses and when you say hey friend they may be like oh my god I have a friend so you gotta again know your audience know who you're talking man I get what you're saying these are people

[00:28:37] like who throw I love you around real easily. I love you I love you and you can't do that I told one of my bosses she thought I was being a jerk with her through text right and we're going

[00:28:51] back and forth and now when I was like oh and she's again she misinterpreted something that was going on. I was like oh no I would never I professionally love you because I had to preface

[00:29:02] that I professionally love you I professionally love this relationship from my boss not oh I love you and because I felt like if I didn't preface it with that word she might be like oh this

[00:29:12] dude is trying to just lather it on and me and la la no whoa that was a moment of and like we've and we've been good ever since you know what I mean we've been good ever since I love her so much

[00:29:24] she taught me so much I reach out to every now hey what's up just thinking about you when she's a fan of the show I don't know if she'll get subscription but she listens to the other

[00:29:32] show you know what I mean yeah you gotta kind of you have to I'm there at vocabulary shoot I should have went rampant on this one because I'm very intentional about words right

[00:29:45] say what you mean and what you say yeah you already we fight all the time me and what said there's one word in there well yep you said just yep what you mean by that no bro come on

[00:29:57] man yeah that's right that's right no but no that's okay right that's okay because some people are literal yeah and then when you say something in a way they're like oh they take that for face

[00:30:12] value because especially at work I take I make sure everything is literal to me at what's what's that what's that old saying all you have is your word yep so people get familiar with you

[00:30:25] through your actions and the things that you say so yeah yeah absolutely go ahead last one racially charged comments oh man yeah the best as I shared I've been through some of this in my career

[00:30:42] unfortunately in corporate America where people have said derogatory things about people of color derogatory things about certain other races of people and so it's been a lot so these things these comments shouldn't be allowed or are what's the word I'm looking for they shouldn't be

[00:31:01] accepted by anyone in the workplace right no matter what your background is doesn't matter yeah racially is racially you know what I'm saying nobody should be barred from this I think anybody can be offended by racially charged comments heck yeah you know how many people have told me

[00:31:18] about Puerto Rican men oh gosh whether oh Puerto Rican man are Cuban men are Latino Latino men this way black men are this way white men are this way but a lot of that is based off of people's

[00:31:34] individual experiences absolute stereotypes they're bad apples bro it's the bad apples that there's a bunch yeah and so they associate you with those groups even even if you haven't personally done anything to them yeah oh yeah let me get to the something that's racially charged

[00:31:51] some summary is making racially charged comments is harmful and unacceptable in the workplace as it can lead to discrimination harassment can result in legal action damage to the organization's reputation and harm to the individual's mental well-being to your point this can really mess

[00:32:11] with somebody right I remember when those people said those things to me are about me being a person of color and them saying that we're not intelligent I remember especially back I think

[00:32:23] it was in my 20s back then when that happened and I remember going inward going inward and I found myself this is to the mental health piece of it don't I find myself asking like are they right

[00:32:39] or maybe I am dumb or maybe oh yeah one on the pasta syndrome everything kicks in a lot of people have right yeah and so at the time at that time I didn't I wasn't in therapy at that time I

[00:32:51] didn't know what any of that's what self-care was and all that and so I went I took it in and I internalized those things and I was just like maybe they are right maybe I don't know anything

[00:33:01] maybe I am this maybe I am dumb maybe I like this index just started going on myself and that's how it impacted my mental being and that stage so for any of you who are out there

[00:33:11] who are in environments where you're going through any of these you're having any of these whether it's racial and sensitive sexually charged aggressive profanity and it's not okay with you you have to make a decision within yourself this is the company that you want to be in

[00:33:27] even if they pay you a pretty penny that's the decision that you have to make because some people they can thrive in those environments they're like hey the world is like that hey

[00:33:37] I expect my job is like that so it is what it is other people are like no I need to find an environment that is more diverse and inclusive of respecting backgrounds and perspectives of all colleagues and refraining from such insensitive, racially charged, sexually charged remarks

[00:33:56] so I think that's what it is so what do you want to say about the N word? No just in general because I'm in a safe place I still say it I still say it's not very

[00:34:06] it is something that's like in the house and not even that because my kids it's music so it's very few and far apart but it's still because I came in up in the place when that was part of

[00:34:18] vocabulary right when we were 90s and golden era of rap and in New York and in the it was just okay and it's not okay you know what I mean but it's because it's not anymore

[00:34:33] and so I was just like what are your thoughts because we have gotten into it about the word so you have had fueled feelings about this. The thing that stuck with me that for me that kind of

[00:34:45] changed my mind on the use of the word like even in songs and stuff like that was when I heard Karima Dool-Jabbar talking about it and there was a saying with the rappers of today we're

[00:34:56] talking to the old heads of yesterday and Karima Dool-Jabbar was like basically saying you don't know the stuff that we went through in order for you all to just use that word casually

[00:35:07] but you don't know the things that we experienced the torment the persecution at the hands of those people that did that to us back in the day you don't understand what that was like and so

[00:35:21] that's why he was like I would never agree with anybody using that word so for me that resonated with me as a man of color I was just like you know what let me try to refrain from it. Yep from like

[00:35:33] even in songs but it's into a lot of the songs that are like I grew up hip hop and gospel so yes I think that it should not be in the work environment you need to establish those boundaries

[00:35:45] right yeah because if you two are cool and whatever but if you work in a group in an open setting or in a room with other people you can't just because y'all are cool with it

[00:35:55] doesn't mean there you might be offending someone around you and that was something I wanted to say here too at work you have to be careful because you might listen to all this and be like dang we

[00:36:05] can't talk at work and yeah it's yep it's true talk about work yeah you gotta keep you gotta keep it what are they like on the surface the sports and food and weather and da da da and

[00:36:17] you keep it there are safe safe topics to talk about and there's plenty of them so come on but anyway so that I thought about a lot too like just being in oh that's what I was gonna say

[00:36:27] what's offensive anything anybody says they're offended by that's the bad part I could put up my like boom check this out right the Dixie flag yes I that's offensive to me right and

[00:36:41] I tell my kids like be careful with that flag so but so it could be somebody put that up at work that's offensive to me but see now what if I'm a they could probably say the same thing

[00:36:52] oh I'm put my Puerto Rican flag up well that's offensive I don't want to see that but I'm offended and I have to respect that in kind yeah you know what I mean it's work

[00:37:00] it's not home it's not home yeah it's on exactly that's why some people love working from home now because you know I ain't gotta deal with most of that anymore and for the most part

[00:37:09] it's true it's true and and that's why I think these companies are trying to navigate these spaces and make all of them make their work environments accessible for everyone to work there no matter

[00:37:21] what your background what your beliefs are with your political affiliation do that let them work from home that's how you know where wherever applicable like that's a whole nother conversation and then this that may be a show too because we have it on the list for remote work

[00:37:39] unfortunately it's controversial like I remember I used to listen to music a lot back in the day same deal yeah and like have my headphones and I had a bump and like the hip hop on and stuff and people could hear

[00:37:53] yep stuff and then they were like and then I tested it I test no not even just lower it I tested it out one day and I started playing classical like Mozart they told me blasting it just as loud and the people didn't complain about they told them

[00:38:11] they complained about those things they didn't complain about that stuff but when I had the hip hop going in the rap stuff because they didn't particularly like that genre of music

[00:38:22] oh my gosh don't even break bro I was in a job one place we had my first open environment and we're gonna cut it off soon guys like we've been going for a while here it was a

[00:38:31] open office situation and we had the bright idea of hey we're gonna play it low music in the background you think that went well no nope nope everybody was complaining about the different the volume

[00:38:46] and the type of music even if we like went on some type of rotation it didn't matter they would complain they some people can work with music some people can't work with music yeah so it was

[00:38:58] really this is what we're arguing about yes I've seen it happen so many times they put like a couple speakers throughout the office yep and it was one in this it's too white they whatever they played

[00:39:10] the top 100 so that's everything right country rock alternative all those different things and so people still didn't like that to your point because I need quiet and he quiet exactly doesn't matter what music is any quiet you can't satisfy everybody like that

[00:39:28] and so when they play the music these people put their headphones on yes to block yes people got blockers yes oh my goodness all right yeah that's why navigating these spaces it's tough with

[00:39:43] these comments is difficult but that's why you need to establish boundaries you need to establish what offends you what like if those conversations are happening you need to let them know and say

[00:39:53] hey that was offensive even if you put them aside hey that kind of offended me I know you don't know my background but like exactly it's not stuff like that offended me when you said that

[00:40:03] yeah I'll tell them about it or if it's egregious and they continue to do those go to HR and escalate that and if nothing happens after that then you may want to decide to take legal action

[00:40:14] or leave that damned out yeah for real for real word because if it's toxic got to go yep so yeah yeah it was good it was good at the end of the day folks effective communication

[00:40:28] in the workplace involves being mindful of the impact of one's words and actions right yes and actions of course to your colleagues workers should aim to create a respectful inclusive professional environment avoiding profanity avoid being aggressive avoid being hateful

[00:40:47] avoid the inappropriate sexually comments in a try to be sensitive right avoid insensitivity and void racially charge these are things you don't want to do last thing before we go

[00:41:01] because I know I don't want to keep running but you want to be careful with the things that you send in the communications oh heck yeah it's not about you saying the verbal my god you just

[00:41:13] made me think well something you can send a tiktok you can send an instagram to your co-workers and somebody gets offended by that yeah oh don't do yeah don't do it right don't do it

[00:41:26] don't do it I feel like we got to do a part two and what we can talk about that work this is all like what we shouldn't talk about but I'll go until the next time folks hope you

[00:41:35] enjoyed peace peace before we sign off here are a couple quick things don't forget to follow it's about payroll on linkedin and it's about your paycheck on facebook and tiktok thank you for

[00:41:49] being part of our payroll community and thank you for being a part of this journey with us until the next time keep learning keep growing and most importantly keep going