Authenticity and Self-Connection at Work

[00:00:00] Every day we rise, challenging ourselves to work for what we believe in. At US

[00:00:07] Border Patrol protecting our borders is more than a job. It's a calling.

[00:00:13] Agents answer the call working together to keep our country and community safe. If

[00:00:19] you're ready for a new mission join US Border Patrol and go beyond. Learn more at

[00:00:26] cbp.gov slash careers.

[00:00:30] Welcome, this is hashtag GenZ, a podcast that explores generations. Who they are, how

[00:00:44] they're different from other generations while also being an incredible blend of those

[00:00:47] who came before them. Leaks for what they think is cool, what moves them and why they

[00:00:51] do what they do. I'm your host Meghan Grace and it is so nice to have you here.

[00:00:56] In today's episode we'll be exploring identity, authenticity and self-connection at work.

[00:01:01] If you've been paying attention to GenZ, you know they are all about diversity and inclusion

[00:01:05] and they're also redefining identity and what it means to express yourself. A study by

[00:01:09] Vox Media and the Horowitz research group found a shift in mindset with GenZ from being

[00:01:14] told who they are by society to wanting to be asked who they are when it comes to identity.

[00:01:20] This looks like two thirds believing that society places a label on them related to their

[00:01:24] demographics such as gender, sexual identity or race and ethnicity. However, more than 80%

[00:01:30] desire more ownership over their identity.

[00:01:33] Association is it relates to personal characteristics like personality, hobbies, interest, passions

[00:01:37] and evenability. The sense of ownership also applies to their social characteristics like

[00:01:42] their culture, community or interpersonal relationships such as their role within their family.

[00:01:47] However, there still exists a gap in the fact that some of their personal identities

[00:01:51] are being driven by societal labels, whether they are fully accurate to them or not.

[00:01:55] Even then GenZ is pushing back and redefining some traditional perspectives on identity,

[00:02:00] especially related to gender identity and expression. This study shared by Vox Media is truly

[00:02:05] fascinating and I really encourage you to check it out and read in more detail.

[00:02:09] I'll be sure to include it in the episode notes so that you can dive in with all of your

[00:02:13] own exploration.

[00:02:16] But in this episode I'm joined by Rex Wilde, a non-binary LGBTQ plus speaker, educator

[00:02:21] and business consultant. In March 2019, Rex produced the Transcend career fair, the largest

[00:02:27] transgender career fair in the world. This event featuring over 75 businesses and 500 transgender

[00:02:32] and gender diverse participants received national media coverage from CBS, NBC and TeleMundo.

[00:02:38] Originally from Southern California, Rex graduated with honors in sociology from Trappin University

[00:02:43] in 2011 and quickly advanced to become a leader in the LGBTQ plus community.

[00:02:48] From running local and national campaigns for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act

[00:02:52] to creating prominent workforce development program for the transgender and gender expansive

[00:02:57] TGX plus community in Los Angeles as the inaugural director of programs at Trans can work,

[00:03:03] Rex's work centers the joy and economic empowerment of TGX plus communities. With over 12 years

[00:03:09] of experience in facilitation and organizational change, Rex's approach to intersectional

[00:03:13] inclusion of TGX plus folks has been renowned by organizations including Spectrum Charter,

[00:03:19] UPS, the Sundance Institute and the California Workforce Development Board. Rex now works

[00:03:24] with organizations on strengthening organizational leadership through programs at Center Self-Connection,

[00:03:30] Authentic Leadership and Intersectional Inclusion. You can learn more about the work they're

[00:03:34] doing at www.rexwilds.com and I am so excited to welcome my friend Rex to this episode's discussion.

[00:03:45] Every day we rise, challenging ourselves to work for what we believe in. At U.S. Board of

[00:03:52] Patrol protecting our borders is more than a job. It's a calling. Agents answer the call,

[00:04:00] working together to keep our country and community safe. If you're ready for a new mission,

[00:04:06] join U.S. Board of Patrol and go beyond. Learn more at cbp.gov slash careers.

[00:04:16] So once again we are joined by a great guest and I'm just so excited because anytime I get to talk

[00:04:20] to a friend that I've known for a while that like our world's collide and it turns into a podcast

[00:04:25] so that I get just so excited. And when the people is Rex and Rex I'm so excited to have you

[00:04:30] here to talk about a topic that as UNI have stayed connected over the years has really I think more

[00:04:35] and more prominence in the workplace and while we're talking about identity I think really the heart

[00:04:40] of what you talk about applies to so many people in the workplace including Gen Z. So welcome Rex,

[00:04:45] tell us a little about who you are and kind of the work that you do and how we can be excited

[00:04:50] to learn from you. Thanks so much, Rayan. It is so awesome to be here with you and for those that don't

[00:04:55] know me name is Rex Wilde, they use they and then pronouns and a Matigi X are trans and gender

[00:05:00] expansive inclusion consultant. So I work with organizations all over the U.S. and internationally

[00:05:06] on helping to bolster their trans and gender expansive inclusion initiatives especially within

[00:05:11] their greater DEIBE or diversity equity inclusion and belonging frameworks. So I work with organizations

[00:05:17] anywhere from their corporate education initiatives all the way to helping with employee engagement as well

[00:05:23] as policy and procedures around including the trans community. And such important work because

[00:05:29] you have such beautiful journey that you share with people but like the work that you do is creating

[00:05:34] just like a good space for everyone regardless if if you are identifying with the TGX community

[00:05:39] or LGBT community like just belongingness at work I think is something that everyone can get

[00:05:43] down with like we've all felt at some point in our life like oh maybe I don't belong here or I do

[00:05:47] in that rocks right and so what I love that you're bringing to this conversation is really one

[00:05:53] it's sharing about what you do but then the application that people can take away in creating

[00:05:57] better environments for people. So let's just start with the basics right so why should we be

[00:06:03] paying attention to identity um and specifically gender in the workplace I know that's a big part

[00:06:08] of the work that you do. I think that what you said is so perfect just now because when we're talking

[00:06:14] about identity and even when we're talking about gender specifically it really is something that

[00:06:18] applies to everyone but it's interesting because when we're looking generationally one of the things

[00:06:24] that we're seeing is really significant shifts around not only how individuals are identifying with

[00:06:29] regard to gender but also how we even aren't understanding gender and gender norms in and up

[00:06:34] themselves. When we think about the workplace right now we know that next year in 2025 millennials

[00:06:40] and Gen Z are going to make up about 60 percent of the workforce and that millennials are right now

[00:06:45] twice as likely to identify as LGBTQ than previous generations and we see about 12 percent

[00:06:51] of millennials identifying as either trans or gender expansive. Now when we look at Gen Z we actually

[00:06:58] see that Gen Z is 20 times more likely than the boomer generation to identify as trans non-binary

[00:07:04] or gender expansive and there have been a couple of recent studies that came out one of them showing

[00:07:10] that up to 20 percent of Gen Z identify as LGBTQ plus and another showing that about 30 percent

[00:07:17] of Gen Z identify as LGBTQ plus. So the way that we are thinking about gender and sexuality in

[00:07:22] the amount of individuals who are identifying as gender diverse specifically is drastically changing

[00:07:29] and so for me when I think about our workplaces now there are vastly more gender diverse than they've

[00:07:35] ever been before but when we think about our workplaces five years 10 years even 20 years from now

[00:07:40] they are going to be gender diverse in ways that I don't think we can really imagine and I think

[00:07:45] that is just incredibly exciting. That's I do think it's an exciting thing and first of all thank

[00:07:51] you for bringing all those stats to this conversation like I was getting tingles that someone else

[00:07:54] cares about like quantifying things that we more exists right like we know this shift in identity

[00:08:01] and mindset of inclusion of just like being who you are has shifted so much with younger generations

[00:08:06] it's not that it didn't exist before just so prominent now or much more prominent. So one thing for

[00:08:11] bringing the numbers to back up what we have probably already been witnessing observing experiencing

[00:08:18] and think that you know what you bring bring up is with this idea that identities and how

[00:08:22] we're expressing identities is different it's not just like understanding identity but that next level

[00:08:28] of can I express and be myself at work and I think that that comes around to at least my understanding

[00:08:33] and really I think you're the expert so this is me just confirming what I think I know but

[00:08:37] our authenticity is a really big part of identity and that expression that you do have.

[00:08:43] What world do you think that authenticity is playing in our professional lives specifically

[00:08:47] and how have you seen this in your work and and really when we start thinking about Gen Z me entering

[00:08:52] the workplace and being a larger portion of the workforce that you've pointed out.

[00:08:57] Well we talk about authenticity we're talking about being able to be ourselves right and a lot

[00:09:01] of folks will say being able to bring your whole self to work and so what does that mean to be

[00:09:05] able to bring your whole self to work and I think that when we're talking about for example from

[00:09:10] a queer perspective and especially talking about anyone who falls into that greater community of

[00:09:15] LGBTQ plus so lesbian gay bisexual trans queer and then plus for the many other identities that

[00:09:22] exist within this wider umbrella we're really talking about being able to show up in ways that

[00:09:28] historically folks who are LGBTQ haven't been able to and so one of example of that in the workplace

[00:09:36] could be someone a colleague asks you know how was your weekend and you being able to say I spent

[00:09:42] the time with that time with my partner right and being able to identify who that partner is by

[00:09:46] name by gender etc. and being able to show up in that conversation authentically without having

[00:09:52] to hide the gender of your partner right and that's an experience that historically has existed in

[00:09:59] the workplace for folks across the LGBTQ spectrum now that can also in exist in a way specifically

[00:10:05] for trans individuals in just being able to share about who they are right and being able to

[00:10:11] share about for example what their pronouns are how they identify etc. one of the things that we're

[00:10:17] seeing change especially is our understanding of gender with regard to non-binary identities and so

[00:10:23] I myself identify as non-binary meaning that I don't identify as a man or as a woman I identify

[00:10:29] in what I often call a third gender category and I use the term non-binary for myself and with

[00:10:35] regard to that you know I came out about 10 years ago as non-binary but that was the first time

[00:10:41] I had ever even heard about the term non-binary before and so it's so many of us in our generation

[00:10:47] didn't grow up with knowledge of the trans community in general but especially of folks who were

[00:10:52] non-binary or categorized in this other third gender category and so when we're talking about

[00:10:58] authenticity in the workplace from a gender perspective we have to be able to talk about as well some

[00:11:03] of the systems that we see set up in our workplaces and historically systems whether it's in the

[00:11:08] workplace or otherwise are really only set up to recognize folks who are other men or women

[00:11:14] and so being able as well to ensure that we are creating structures that can help hold the

[00:11:20] reality of folks who exist that are non-binary as well and I think that you know thank you for

[00:11:27] sharing that because I think that's so important that yes we in 10 years right like there's

[00:11:33] I think there's been so much advancement in knowledge and understanding and recognition

[00:11:38] but also there's times when I'm like society we're still really just struggling with like

[00:11:43] just letting people express their gender in general if it doesn't fit a very narrowly defined

[00:11:49] version of what that looks like to what society says is right and even that is like feeling like

[00:11:56] if we get back to that concept of authenticity of like for someone that does identify as a man or a

[00:12:01] woman or non-binary feeling like you have to fit into a perfect box to fit in and that perfect

[00:12:07] box for what that definition is in my understanding really is it kind of erodes the authenticity of how

[00:12:13] you feel about that identity I knew like as a woman growing up like I played a lot I don't say

[00:12:19] dirty sports but like played softball and like I was in dirt and I would but I was like still wearing

[00:12:23] a bow at the same time like it felt counterintuitive to what I was told about like girly girl and

[00:12:29] like someone that's willing to play in the dirt and get like rough and tough about it right and so

[00:12:33] I still think we have some sort of advancement of like allowing people to just express their gender

[00:12:37] for whatever it looks like to them um in society let alone the workplace because like we can barely

[00:12:42] handle like getting our jobs done and being nice to people let alone letting them express

[00:12:46] individuality and identity effectively am I am I like hearing correctly like there's just so much work

[00:12:52] I think that we can do in that understanding but I think that comes to if if I'm wrong tell me I'm

[00:12:58] wrong that's totally okay but like that next piece of self-connection right I think what you as

[00:13:04] you and I've talked about like self-connection is a big part of even understanding what that

[00:13:08] identity is and feeling confident to be able to walk into that and feeling connected to the identity

[00:13:14] to express it yes exactly and so when we're thinking about gender in and of itself on the whole

[00:13:21] it's something that impacts all of us whether you are trans whether you are non-binary or whether

[00:13:25] you are cisgender which means you're not trans right it's interesting because I was in a workshop

[00:13:32] and this was a couple of years ago where I asked folks to reflect on the first time that they

[00:13:36] learned about gender and I had a cisgender straight man come up to me after this exercise and say

[00:13:43] you know I was thinking about it and when I was a kid I actually really loved being able to make flower

[00:13:48] arrangements because his mom had these beautiful gardens and so he loved to pick flowers and put

[00:13:53] him into vases and he also really loved baking because who doesn't like a plate of brownies at the

[00:13:58] end of the day and so but once he got into you know middle school high school age whichever it was

[00:14:04] all of his peers started questioning his sexuality and started questioning his gender and saying not

[00:14:09] so nice things to him right because they saw him enjoying flowers wanting to bake and seeing that

[00:14:14] as not masculine and thus he actually ended up going on this journey of questioning his gender

[00:14:20] and sexuality because of how other people responded to him for these things that authentically brought

[00:14:26] him joy. So when we are thinking about how gender can impact authenticity for all of us regardless

[00:14:35] of gender we do think about the ways that we often expect people to fall in very specifically

[00:14:41] defined boxes regardless of what their gender is so we say if you're a man you have to be masculine

[00:14:47] and this is what that looks like if you're a woman must be feminine this is what that looks like

[00:14:51] and often that can sever us from ourselves. Yeah when we are talking about the idea of self-connection

[00:14:57] we are talking about the repair of that severing we are talking about being able to get back to

[00:15:04] and be in connection with what is truly authentic and what allows us joy on an individual level.

[00:15:11] So self-connection really at its core is the relationship that we have with our self the

[00:15:16] relationship that we have to our thoughts our experiences and just how we engage with ourselves

[00:15:22] in a really general way. I feel one thank you for sharing that story of that person because I

[00:15:28] know that it probably took a lot of courage of that person even share that with you in that setting

[00:15:32] and then like that you can share it again because I feel like that's such a good example

[00:15:36] and I love that you framed like self-connection with joy. A right of like it shouldn't be attached to

[00:15:42] that and we it makes me deeply sad because there's probably people all across different identities

[00:15:49] that feel like they can't express the joy that they have of being themselves like whether it is

[00:15:53] arranging the flowers and baking like I want that kid at my house personally that would save a lot

[00:15:57] of time for me but like to take that away from a child right like but let alone a human

[00:16:04] where we are a human adult where we experience like a lot of tough stress that man I wish that

[00:16:10] individual had the ability to go back and like arrange some flowers and bake some brownies on a day

[00:16:14] that was hard right and I think it just like I'm trying to say it makes me sad that society tells

[00:16:19] people like several yourself connection and your joy from the things that you love because that's

[00:16:24] not the way that it is here but I personally think that there's many people in Gen Zinger at

[00:16:29] least that I'm observing they're telling society to kind of like kick it because there's still

[00:16:35] going to be a masculine man that arranges flowers right and that's totally fine and it's probably

[00:16:42] a beautiful flower arrangement so I don't know that's just me being like one thinking for framing

[00:16:46] that way like I feel slightly healed for things in my own life and I know that I hope other listeners

[00:16:51] feel like they can look at that connection or that piece of self-connection and say oh there's

[00:16:55] things that society has told me that I shouldn't do because of the way that I identify so I just

[00:17:01] really appreciate that perspective thank you and I think with Gen Z it's really cool because part

[00:17:06] of what we're seeing right now is Gen Z saying wait I don't want to participate in that way I want

[00:17:11] to be myself at all costs right we're seeing that in a way that other generations have not been

[00:17:17] able to access before and part of that I think is because of the impact that many adults

[00:17:23] and folks of previous generations have been able to reflect on in their experience of saying hey wait

[00:17:30] I wasn't able to arrange flowers when I was a kid or I wasn't able to bake when I was a kid and

[00:17:34] they are doing that correction right they are saying no I want to choose self-connection

[00:17:40] later in my years and then as Gen Z are being parented by those folks that are experiencing

[00:17:46] that self-reflection and who are repairing those things within themselves they're able to

[00:17:50] influence their children right and they're also able to influence society in general to say hey

[00:17:55] everything should be for everyone we don't need to gender activities we should again allow

[00:18:01] people to access that which brings them joy and then we see Gen Z who is able to grasp onto that

[00:18:06] in a really different way than previous generations I know one of the kind of like gender trends

[00:18:12] that I like to I'm really enjoying right now is like how pearls are just such a masculine accessory

[00:18:21] right now like all boys and men are wearing pearls and I just think it is the best thing ever because

[00:18:26] you know when we grew up that just wasn't something that would ever be associated with men in

[00:18:31] any way and so I just love kind of seeing how those trends are changing it's so funny I actually

[00:18:37] have a friend that this is just a weird tangent I have a friend that I recently took a trip with

[00:18:42] and an amazing scuba diver Marcus if you're out there this one's for you and he lost his pearl earring

[00:18:48] or something in the scuba diving incident I was gonna see him a few days later and he texts with

[00:18:52] the group he's like I lost an earring back from my pearl earring and I was like I was like I clutched

[00:18:56] my fictitious pearls at that moment but I was like don't worry I got you like I'll bring you that

[00:19:01] earring back I will bring you a fake pearl stud like I had to be there because Marcus needed it right

[00:19:06] and it's one of the things that like he's totally gonna be expressive of who he is and I love that

[00:19:11] and I really appreciate like just the amount of I would say like confidence that you're giving

[00:19:17] people to just go find the thing that that bring you joy and if that's wearing a pearl earring like

[00:19:21] damn it you better rock that earring boys do it like it's awesome I've been doing it forever

[00:19:27] but I know that you are a treasure trove of things that people could probably be doing to feel more

[00:19:34] connected and while we're kind of focusing on the workplace you know what kind of advice do you

[00:19:39] have for professionals regardless of gender or generational cohort to finding self-connection

[00:19:47] at work and into their work and and I want to say I don't want to say finding joy because some

[00:19:51] people do not like their jobs but we can still find that self-connection right in making a place

[00:19:56] in individually for ourselves yeah first I think that self-connection is going to be really

[00:20:01] individually defined for everyone so we're all going to have a different version of what self

[00:20:06] connection looks like for us so when we are thinking about what a self-connection look like in

[00:20:10] general and then what a self-connection look like at work we have to approach it from a really

[00:20:14] nuanced individual lens since that will be as vast and diverse as all of us are as people

[00:20:20] and so part of it though is being able to have the time and ability to get your know to know

[00:20:26] yourself in a greater way and to have the opportunity to be able to get into a more self-connected

[00:20:34] place and so that could be anything from you know spending five minutes in the morning meditating

[00:20:39] or journaling it could be you know reflecting on what are the things that you really enjoy about

[00:20:44] your work what are the things that are really challenging about your work and having extra cognizance

[00:20:48] around that there are so many different ways that you can approach that but one exercise that I

[00:20:54] give to folks is when we're thinking about you know let's say from a leadership perspective

[00:20:59] is to ask yourself three questions to use as a reflection exercise in order to have a start

[00:21:07] creating a better self-relationship of self-connection and so those three questions are first how am I

[00:21:14] relating to myself as a leader today why am I relating to myself this way and then what does that

[00:21:20] tell me about a core need or belief so for example what that could look like is how am I relating to

[00:21:26] myself as a leader today and perhaps you are feeling really empowered and excited and you are

[00:21:32] really positive and motivational towards yourself or perhaps you're actually really judgmental and

[00:21:37] frustrated and having a lot of negative thoughts towards yourself right let's take the negative

[00:21:42] thoughts as the example for the rest of these questions which is okay so you've identified you

[00:21:47] know I'm being really self-deprecating well the next question is well why am I relating to myself

[00:21:52] this way and that might be anywhere from well maybe it's a need a form of self-protection

[00:21:58] that you're actually having the reason that you are having those negative thoughts is you think

[00:22:03] that somehow that is going to be helpful to you right perhaps it's because you think that

[00:22:07] you're going to be more self-productive that way right and that if you you know are going at yourself

[00:22:14] from a perspective of saying hey you just need to get this done blah blah blah then maybe it's

[00:22:20] your way of trying to be more productive in that way now once you've answered those then you can

[00:22:26] ask yourself what does that tell me about a core need or belief and so if it is that you know

[00:22:31] you're being really mean to yourself that day it actually even counterintuitively is kind of

[00:22:36] a form of self-protection it might tell you that you just have a need for feeling safe and feeling

[00:22:42] in control right and that's this need now once you have that need that's a lot of information

[00:22:49] for you to be able to then identify what you want to do with that right is there a way that you

[00:22:54] can help yourself because let's say talking to yourself in a really negative way is actually

[00:22:59] super out of alignment with your values and you're starting to notice that actually it reflects how

[00:23:04] you end up talking to the folks on your team right and that might not be something that you want to do

[00:23:10] then it gives you really that important purview on how you can shift and adjust so that you can

[00:23:15] actually practice behaviors or practice thoughts they're going to be more in alignment with what

[00:23:20] your values are so that as you're interacting with others you can have a more positive environment

[00:23:26] product that is amazing and I just can imagine that your clients when you do this with them they

[00:23:31] are like how dare you walk in here and tell me literally everything about me and you just knew me

[00:23:37] two seconds ago but it's so true like what you described is something that when we allow ourselves to

[00:23:42] go down this thought process we do become disconnected to who we are right and there's so much

[00:23:49] again that pressure between the individual and the society or what an organization or a different

[00:23:54] like environment puts on us and how that can peel us away from who we are so I really love the way

[00:24:00] that you I'm a big fan of things that come in threes because they're usually easy to remember

[00:24:05] and you give us a really one two three something that someone can do in less than five minutes

[00:24:10] when they're going through either a positive or negative mindset to reframe and find that connection

[00:24:15] at work and so if you're listening and you're feeling a little a little disconnected please use

[00:24:22] that three part framework Rex is just like such such gold so there's not that individuals can

[00:24:27] do right like as individuals we can practice this three question framework that you provided us

[00:24:33] but you know sometimes we can only operate so much on our own like we're parts of teams or

[00:24:38] organizations unless you're out here doing like what I call rodeo which is being a self-employed

[00:24:43] individual but like what can do as organization and company leaders to help employees find

[00:24:51] team members find and practice self-connection at work because they do think there's an interplay of

[00:24:56] the larger environment and the individual that leaders have the ability to shape for their

[00:25:00] friends that are within the company so I think when we're talking about organizationally first

[00:25:05] we want to talk about what we can do as individual leaders and the reality is that we want to set the

[00:25:10] example for what everyone else on our team can be doing and so if we are doing that work as a leader

[00:25:16] ourselves it is automatically going to be reflected in the way that our team members are going to

[00:25:22] be able to interact with each other and also interact with us so first I think it's setting the

[00:25:27] example but the second is really being able to encourage social and emotional learning opportunities

[00:25:33] for staff on a structural level so our organizations we should really be giving time whether that is

[00:25:39] through you know specific staff development time or time off etc to be able to encourage specific

[00:25:46] social and emotional learning opportunities for folks to be able to have the opportunity for

[00:25:51] self-reflection and have the opportunity to self connect in a greater way and the third is really

[00:25:58] being able to encourage open and honest dialogue with a value for vulnerability obviously being

[00:26:04] able to do these type of self-reflection tools it's a lot of vulnerable work and it can be you know

[00:26:09] pretty itchy for some folks but being able to encourage open and honest dialogue and giving

[00:26:16] the value of vulnerability into your workplace can be something that also really helps to bolster

[00:26:23] the opportunity for others. So what I'm hearing is do the work and be vulnerable and empathetic

[00:26:33] to others like that's just like two small things right just two small ones yeah I would say though

[00:26:40] yeah it's casual small things I think everyone can align with having either worked for someone that

[00:26:45] was deeply empathetic and cared about them and was willing to show them like a good path towards

[00:26:50] what it means to be a part of an organization right whether it's a coach a teacher a boss you name

[00:26:54] it but I'm going to conversely we've also had people that see now in our minds that are terrible

[00:26:59] role models for what it's like to be vulnerable empathetic and supportive to other people and

[00:27:05] I really do think like the concept of like being a good human to others is like such a free thing

[00:27:10] we can do but it requires so much honor of ourselves to understand who we are like that interaction

[00:27:15] between the self and others is so difficult not difficult it's just complicated right and so

[00:27:21] I think bosses organization company leaders wherever you are like there's so much that

[00:27:27] there's that pressure yes there's always a pressure to perform but like performance is always

[00:27:32] going to be underscored by like the people that are a part of that like people that are part

[00:27:37] of the team and making sure that that's a place it can be full of inclusion but also that connection

[00:27:42] and to who people are and making sure that they feel like safe and welcome and like they belong

[00:27:47] there like it's just like simple stuff I feel like you and I are like this basic human stuff

[00:27:51] but I know that there's a lot of people that struggle with that and that's why they keep you

[00:27:54] employed right I think it's like a really normal thing that of course people are going to struggle

[00:28:00] with us this because the other reality is you know considering our busy lives especially in our

[00:28:07] workplaces with a million tasks that people have on their plate etc no one is going to live

[00:28:12] in a hundred percent self-connected place all of the time it's just absolutely right we're human

[00:28:19] and so giving ourselves as well the opportunity for grace and understanding around that and letting

[00:28:25] go of that myth of perfectionism around all of this is a really important thing as well if we are

[00:28:31] going to you know live with the goal in mind of allowing self-connection to be something that also

[00:28:37] helps with our connection of others right because when you hold yourself to those two high of standards

[00:28:43] it actually ends up creating the exact thing that we don't want right which is higher levels of

[00:28:48] pressure and stress and all of that when really what the goal of all of this is to allow ourselves

[00:28:54] to live in greater opportunity for ease, joys and connection with both ourselves and with others

[00:29:00] absolutely so Rex if you don't mind you know there's been some really great concepts we've had

[00:29:05] about like what individuals and leaders can do I'm a big believer in learning from the younger

[00:29:10] generation like in I think in a weird way they teach us things that we all knew we needed to know

[00:29:15] they're just like saying it really loud for us what are some of the things just like very high

[00:29:20] level that you have learned from Gen Z about this concept of self-connection or authenticity

[00:29:25] like some of those lessons you can share with us because I know that you you are very good about

[00:29:29] keeping a pulse on this younger generation and kind of the mindset that they have so what can

[00:29:34] you share with us about how Gen Z is is kind of doing this and leading the way in some cases

[00:29:39] I think one of the things that I find most amazing about Gen Z is their willingness to really figure

[00:29:45] out what works for them on an individual level and celebrate the individuality of others

[00:29:52] one of the ways that we're seeing that you know from a perspective of folks who are trans and

[00:29:56] gender expansive for example is the amount of language that we're seeing developed where folks are

[00:30:02] finding either identities or our identity related terms that are going to reflect who they are

[00:30:09] on an individual level and so part of that is for example creating new language now obviously with

[00:30:15] regard to language we've always created new language every generation has and language is always

[00:30:22] going to reflect the people in the culture of the society at that time and I think that Gen Z

[00:30:27] is doing that in a really phenomenal way whether it is coming up with identity terms that feel

[00:30:33] really congruent with them and being able to develop pronouns that feel inclusive and authentic

[00:30:40] to them on an individual level etc but as well we also see that reflected in how people are

[00:30:45] expressing themselves with regard to gender and not going like oh I'll just go to the men's section

[00:30:51] and get this I'll go to the women's section and get that but going one or no way I love that from

[00:30:55] the men's section I love this from the women's section and I'm gonna create something that's all

[00:30:58] my own and so I think all of those things go back to reflecting Gen Z's absolute ability

[00:31:08] to be able to just find what is going to work for them on an individual level and to celebrate

[00:31:13] that individuality. I think that and yeah I see it a little bit differently 30 so much like

[00:31:19] a time with students but like what I love is that yes that that individuality but also the recognition

[00:31:25] of the individual is a part of a collective so like they're still a part of an us like as a group

[00:31:30] of humans whether that's like a student organization or class or a community group that they're a part

[00:31:36] of that like they want that individual to feel included and not like an individualism of like

[00:31:41] everything's about me and I'm special right it's that person has figured out who they are and what

[00:31:47] I love is that Gen Z rallies around those people like regardless like the individuals take care

[00:31:52] of one another and in their community whatever their community is and they allow that person to

[00:31:57] be that individual while supporting whatever that individual is identifies as expresses as and so

[00:32:05] like that's something that I love is yes there's that like I don't know how they're so individually

[00:32:09] where at such a young age like I'm very proud of them I still think I'm just trying to figure it out

[00:32:13] but then the this idea of being individually expressive and supportive of other people in a way

[00:32:21] that's like I'm not going to try to change you I just want you to be a part of us and I think

[00:32:25] that's really beautiful yeah I think it goes to this idea of them saying the more that I get to

[00:32:31] celebrate me the more room there is for me to celebrate you too mm-hmm mm-hmm but they're not

[00:32:38] taking away anything from anyone by allowing someone that's different than them or the same

[00:32:43] to celebrate that like they're like there's enough room and enough space for everyone to be

[00:32:49] themselves exactly I love that they're so they're so good um well Rex this has been so helpful like

[00:32:57] I don't know what I was I knew that this was going to be insightful but like I feel like in some

[00:33:01] cases like more joy in my life which I think is great right um but I'm just taking so much from

[00:33:08] this and I think people that are listening are gonna be able to take away just really I want to say

[00:33:12] it's always simple I don't think that it's not necessarily difficult in the same degree but like

[00:33:16] you've given people some really direct simple things they can do to potentially find self-connection

[00:33:20] themselves a little bit more practice it within the people that they lead um in the organizations

[00:33:24] that they lead but I'm sure people want to follow up and potentially know where they can kind of keep

[00:33:29] up with you if people want to keep up with the great work that you're doing or find ways to work

[00:33:33] with you what would you suggest um people do to kind of hang out with you yeah you can either find

[00:33:38] me on my website or on LinkedIn so my website is RexwildREXWALDE.com or you can just go ahead and

[00:33:45] find me Rexwild on LinkedIn and I will include both of those in the show notes so people don't have

[00:33:51] to search too hard but Rex thank you again for being here again it's always I was always

[00:33:54] often we're able to catch up but I also love being able to intentionally learn from you um and

[00:33:59] you're willing to share all of this with the listeners so thank you thank you so much Megan it's been

[00:34:03] such a fun time

[00:34:05] another thank you to Rex for sharing such important insights about an identity inclusion and

[00:34:14] finding self-connection at work I think everyone can relate to feeling pulled away from something

[00:34:19] that's an important part of who they are or feeling that they aren't being treated themselves

[00:34:23] whether it's related to gender or another identity or just something that's incredibly important

[00:34:27] to us feeling disconnected from who we are is difficult and exhausting however there's ways that

[00:34:33] we as individuals can find connection to ourselves and help others do so as well especially for

[00:34:38] positions of leadership or impact for others and Gen Zers are great teachers and role models

[00:34:44] of how to do this so there's much we can learn from this younger generation about finding connection

[00:34:48] to who we are and expressing that with confidence and joy there are some more great episodes and

[00:34:55] guests coming up in season six and I promise you won't want to miss it if you haven't yet hit

[00:34:59] subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you can get notified when new episodes become

[00:35:03] available and while you're at it show this episode with a friend or a colleague sharing is

[00:35:07] caring when it comes to knowledge like this and I'm always looking for any topics to explore

[00:35:12] and guess to chat with you can share your suggestions and thoughts through my website MeganMgrace.com

[00:35:17] that's me G H A N M G R A C E dot com and you can also find me on Instagram threads and LinkedIn

[00:35:26] at MeganMgrace and a big thank you to my friend Leah Kramer for editing this episode

[00:35:30] and bringing it all together and one more thank you for you thanks for stopping by for this

[00:35:36] episode and the season so far let's continue the conversation and we'll chat soon.

[00:35:41] what if you could have a career where the opportunities are as fast as our nation

[00:36:00] where it's not about mission statements but a shared mission at us customs and border protection

[00:36:06] we go beyond to protect more than borders from ship to shore air to ground cities to local communities

[00:36:13] CBP agents and officers are keeping people safe join us customs and border protection and go

[00:36:19] beyond for something far greater than yourself learn more at cbp.gov slash careers

[00:36:26] every day we rise challenging ourselves to work for what we believe in

[00:36:32] at us border patrol protecting our borders is more than a job it's a calling agents answer the call

[00:36:41] working together to keep our country and community safe if you're ready for a new mission

[00:36:46] join us border patrol and go beyond learn more at cbp.gov slash careers