Ep 78: How Too Much Information Is Paralyzing Younger Generation (with guest Dr. Suzanne Degges-White)

There's a name for what a lot of young people are doing right now, and it's not laziness. Dr. Suzanne Degges-White calls it life shelving: the decision to put the big stuff on hold because the weight of choosing feels like too much.

In this episode, Tess sits down with Dr. Degges-White, licensed counselor, professor of counselor education at Northern Illinois University, longtime Psychology Today contributor, and author of several books on relationships, including her upcoming title Was It Something I Said? Understanding Family Estrangement. With over two decades of teaching and clinical work, Dr. Degges-White brings a perspective on Gen Z that is both deeply researched and genuinely compassionate.

What follows is a wide-ranging conversation about why this generation struggles to decide, what the infodemic is doing to young people's ability to think deeply, what Gen Z actually learned by watching millennials burn out, and what both sides of a family estrangement need to hear before it's too late.

What listeners will learn:

• What life shelving is, why it's happening, and what it actually costs to keep delaying
• The infodemic effect: how drowning in information leaves people less equipped to make decisions, not more
• How identity development has shifted from adolescence to a decade-long process now expected to last until 26 or 28
• Why public lives and public mistakes have made risk-taking feel unbearable for a generation
• What Gen Z is actually asking for at work, and why it looks like entitlement but isn't always
• What Gen Z saw when they watched millennials work themselves into the ground, and why their response makes complete sense
• The trophy generation debate: the science behind it was wrong, but the blame landed on the kids anyway
• The 10 unspoken rules of friendship, what happens when one gets broken, and why intergenerational friendships matter more than most people realize
• What Dr. Degges-White's research on family estrangement reveals about both the person who leaves and the one left behind

CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS

• 00:00 Introduction: Who Is Dr. Suzanne Degges-White
• 00:58 Origin Story: Happenstance Theory and the Path to Northern Illinois
• 04:31 What Is Life Shelving? The Paradox of Choice and Why Young People Are Stalling
• 08:18 Why Feeling Stuck Feels Like a Personal Failure (And Why It Isn't)
• 09:30 The Infodemic Effect: Too Much Information, Not Enough Wisdom
• 11:18 Identity Development in 2026: Why Growing Up Now Takes Until 28
• 18:25 Public Lives, Public Mistakes: The Fear That Keeps People From Taking Risks
• 22:48 Gen Z in the Workforce: Self-Care Days, Deadlines, and the Entitlement Debate
• 27:03 The Push-Pull: Validating Gen Z While Still Holding a Standard
• 31:00 What Gen Z Learned From Watching Millennials Burn Out
• 40:36 Friendships: Toxic Patterns, Intergenerational Bonds, and the 10 Unspoken Rules
• 51:43 Family Estrangement: What the New Book Reveals About Both Sides