UNPLUGGED | Just Let Me LIVE | Nisha & Lee

[00:00:00] After, I don't know, all day trying to decipher through like just reading and how to comment and how to, what I should say and what I should do. And you know, I got time initially. I got time.

[00:00:29] Hey everybody, my name is Lee Cates Jr. And we are back with another episode of 15 Minutes With, well, Unplugged. And we're here in Nashville at Studio 11 with my newfound friend Nisha. Now y'all, I found her on Instagram. I was moved, encouraged, but also motivated to figure out who the heck this person was.

[00:00:50] How are they leading and guiding in their real lives? How are they disrupting the way of the world by encouraging people to be more of who they are and not be, well, pressed by the bad people or the trolls. Absolutely. And I had to figure out how to get her in Nashville. So here we are. Nisha, welcome to the show. Thank you. First of all, I'm glad to be here. Like I am drawn into Nashville. I don't want to leave. It's such a beautiful city. Isn't it? Everybody thinks it's like country music only.

[00:01:20] Right. Absolutely not. And that's like one of the mind blowing things. But thank you for having me here. I love it here. Yeah. So how'd you go viral? I'll just jump right in. Okay. So in January, I did hit 20 years of service. Okay. Congratulations. The countdown. Thank you. Yes. Yes.

[00:01:39] So, but on my page, it's mainly fitness related stuff. Right? So being in the service, fitness is a huge part of it. But we tend to kind of go overboard with the naming conventions of things and it just, it doesn't make sense. Modify a version of this. Yeah. Modify a version of this. Why can't we just call it a lunch, you know? So neither here nor there. I was making light of the fact that we'll take something simple and over complicated, give it a new name when it already had a name that was just fine.

[00:02:10] And it was a joke. So post it. And I just happened to be in uniform during some of the clips. So post it, go to sleep, wake up for work the next day. And it's like all of these comments, all of these shares, all of these people, who are you? Who are y'all? Right. Who are you? So, um, some people were genuinely there to like laugh about it and say, I know what you, but know what you mean? Like, it just doesn't make sense. And ha ha ha.

[00:02:36] But a lot of it was, um, kind of disturbing in a way, um, with the amount of hate or the amount of just, I guess, pure evil is the only thing I can use to describe it because, um, I felt that they were there to try to do me harm in some kind of way with their comments about, you know, how I look and, oh, I should be doing this and doing that.

[00:02:59] Like, hey, I shouldn't be in the service. They allowed me in. Oh my God. We just let anybody serve. Right. Half of these people. Right. Could, we could give them all the time in the world and they still went past their PT test. Never. Never. Never. So, um, after, I don't know, all day trying to decipher through like just reading and how to comment and how to, what I should say and what I should do. And, you know, I got time initially. I got time.

[00:03:30] Okay. I got time. And my soldiers are working. I got time. I had a little, a few minutes to dedicate to this, you know, mission. My whole lunch break. It's the whole lunch break. The whole lunch break, actually. Um, but then after a while, it's like, okay, this is, this has got to stop. Um, I didn't allow the comments to change the content in which I posted or change how I acted online, of course. Um, but every now and then, you know, I'll dabble, dabble back. I'll go back.

[00:04:00] Yeah. You know, I might reference it. A screenshot. Like, yeah, I can see you guys. Like it's, it's people say some of the crazy things. What do they get from it? I have no idea. What if you were a young female who had maybe contemplated suicide or maybe had self-esteem issues? Those same comments could have been the thing that, you know, caused you to take a different direction.

[00:04:28] And I actually shared these sentiments with my sister and my mother. Like, I can't believe in 2026, after seeing documentaries on Netflix and Hulu and things like that, of how online behaviors and comments can negatively affect people. Their real life. Their real life. And then actually seeing someone, I don't know if you remember the case where it was like a young lady who was like texting her, either her boyfriend or ex-wife.

[00:04:56] Yes, and telling him he should just. Yeah, you should just do it. Oh my God. Just do it. Like, what are you waiting for? And she was actually punished for her part that she played. So, I mean, realizing that if something were to happen because of something you said online does have a consequence and it still does not stop people. From doing it. From doing it.

[00:05:20] And I heard on the radio the other day that I want to say maybe in England or somewhere, Europe, somewhere they banned social media for kids 15 and under. And I wholeheartedly agree. Really? Yes. Are you going to shake up the parents? That's fine. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. I got four kids. Okay. And my oldest two do have social media and they saw.

[00:05:49] And I have one who's kind of more like timid, like, I'm not even gonna, but I have one who is about that life. I had to reel her in. Is she from Gastonia? Shout out to Gastonia, North Carolina, y'all. Okay, I'm just playing. Please, please don't come after me. Please. Right? Because they are about their life there. They will be about their life. No, I had to reel her in and remind her of her place when you're still a child. Okay?

[00:06:15] We're not doing this back and forth with adults on the internet. Adults, period. Let's be clear. But two, I had to let her know that I was okay. Because they're defending me. They want to make sure I'm good. You know, I'm good. I'm okay. I'm very content and very confident with who I am as a person, who I am as a mom, who I am as a wife.

[00:06:39] Like, in everything that I do, if I'm not confident within myself, I have the resources that I need. To seek. Yes. Absolutely. And I have no shame in saying, you know what? I don't have it all together. I need to take a moment. Like, there is no shame in that. Now, what did your husband think? Yes. Yes. My husband was like, uh-uh. We not going back and forth. And we not doing, we better than that. And I'm like, you're absolutely right.

[00:07:09] But I got time today. I have a few minutes to dedicate to this. I will get there. But today, uh-uh. These people got to know. And I wasn't saying anything like crazy. Most of the clapbacks were kind of comical. You know. It's just something to let people know that I am not to be messed with. But, you know. I think the part that really gets me is people are meant to be different. They are meant to be atypical. But everybody got a thing. Right. Everybody has a thing. Everybody has a thing.

[00:07:39] Everybody. You know, when you go to basic training. Y'all don't cancel me. But the big people get small. The small people get a little bigger. The tall people have an advantage. Okay. During the run. Yeah. The short people have an advantage. We all have our thing. And so, that's why I don't understand how people, especially ones that look like me.

[00:08:08] The chocolate chips. Yes. Can have the audacity to try to use something that I have absolutely no control over. You know, I can't have a surgery to bring these ads together. But why should you? Why should I? Why should you? Now, people are having surgeries for all types of other things. And I'm not judging. Okay? Versus putting in the work. Right. To do them. But there's an army phrase. There are no shortcuts in life. But I'll leave that at that.

[00:08:38] It just says. So, what's one lesson you have learned from failure? Oh. Oh, man. Just one? I've learned to lean in on my tribe. Mmm. Set and pride aside. I mean, it's easier said than done. And I was raised by an independent black woman. Okay. Single mama?

[00:09:08] Single mama. Single mama. Single mama. I need nobody. Okay. Right? So, I had every skill. I don't need nobody else. I need nobody else. Right? I could do anything from making mac and cheese to go out there and we can change the oil. Like, I was cutting grass with my little brothers. Like, there was no difference in our house. How we was brought up. Right? So, but it translates different in adult relationships. It's hard to ask for help sometimes. It's hard to make room for people.

[00:09:36] So, with that being said, once you fall down a couple times because you ain't do it right or maybe that skill you thought you had you really don't have, it humbles you. So, it's like, all right, I need people. I need a team. I need my tribe. So, you know, you have to lean in on them and build your tribe. I like to leverage people for the things that they do best. But also, like, there are some things I am not great at. Right. If you want some stuff tore up, I have a list of things that I can tear up.

[00:10:04] A list of things that I can tear up for all y'all. Okay? I can tear those things up. But if you want some things done great, you know, HR strategy. Transformation. Right. You know, blah, blah, blah. Those are the things that God gave me good talents in. Absolutely. But some other things. Not so much. You know, there's this friend of mine. I want to change gears a little bit here. Okay. Who came on the show. Mm-hmm. And she went viral. Okay.

[00:10:34] For things that were not her business, but she just had to know. Okay. So I had these. Shout out to Batty with the Belly. Okay. I had these cards made. Oh. Yes. Okay. Okay. Had these cards made for things that are not my business. Things that are not my business. But I have to know. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. Oh, let me. All right. Let me brace. So I'm going to mix mine up. Okay.

[00:11:04] And how it goes. Okay. And then we'll jump back into from this commercial break. Is you have to answer as if this was something that was not your business, but you have to know. But like, you know the tea. Okay. Okay. What do you think they said when they left and went to the other room? Oh, gosh. Girl, you know, I saw her man down there at the fresh market. What is the fresh market? That's like the Whole Foods.

[00:11:33] That's not the food line or the Walmart. That's the fresh market. The fresh market. Yeah. So we call it the farmer's market here. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Right around the corner. Hopsie up away. You go down there. I guess that's the stuff where it's like homegrown. Allegedly. Was it farm to table? Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. I mean, you know. Ooh. Things that are not my business, but I have to know. Why do you think he left the company?

[00:12:04] This is PG-13. Please. Please. Answer. We want to know. Well, they got cow kissing in the break room. In the break room. In the break room. That did happen. Oh, okay. It wasn't me. But you're in HR. Yeah, I know. We see everything. Well, I used to be an HR manager. The employee relations files. Okay. Ooh. Segway. I was working for a small organization that's not small. And we had this.

[00:12:34] We had street parking. Okay. Okay. And we also had lot parking. Okay. Okay. And, you know, we had this couple. They both worked together. They were unmarried, but everybody knew they are together. Okay. Okay. Long-term situation. I'm assuming something wasn't going right at home. Because she came to work the next day. He's parked on the street. Okay. And she flattened three of his tires. I heard of his four insurance pay for it.

[00:13:03] That's what she said. Wait, how do you know this? We ain't going to talk about my past life. How do you know this? We not here to talk about it. Y'all. Y'all. And I'm looking at the regulations. I was like, the policies and the organization. I said, you know, firstly, she was not on the clock. It was on city property. Yeah. Nothing we could do. Mm-hmm. She knew what she was doing. She had experience. Yeah. She's been here before.

[00:13:33] Not she's been here. Mm-hmm. So you have a deck of cards. Okay. I am going to let you ask me a couple of things that are not my business. What you got to do? But I just have to know. I don't know. Okay. Really good. Well, you just have to know. I'm a little nervous. We're going to go from there. Okay. Okay. The first question is, because it's not my business, but I got to know. Okay. What's in the will?

[00:14:03] What will? Now, you know, our soldiers will have. Because if it ain't they spouse, then. Y'all. The stories. Diaries. I'm going to create a new podcast called Diaries of an H.R. Professional. Okay. Please. Because some of the stuff that I've seen come across my days. They don't have no will. She is thinking that that SSI, that service life insurance is coming to her.

[00:14:33] He never even updated it from his first wife. She's wife number three. Let me tell you something. There's no will. Mama, it is going to wife number one. Yeah. Ex-wife. Okay. Because he didn't change it. He was dozing off when he should have been paying attention. Listen. Yeah. This is real stuff. This is real stuff. On deployments. And they do not update this information. Now, Bubba done died and left Charlene. But they get mad at the unit. Oh, yes. They are coming up. Mm-hmm. And they want to talk to H.R.

[00:15:03] You can talk all you want to. Okay? Talk all you want to. I got a warm handshake for you, ma'am. I cannot help you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Okay. Thank you for your service. All right. Next question. This is not my business, but I got to know whether they're actually happy together. I don't think so. I don't think so. And not that posting the pictures together is the rule of thumb. Uh-huh. Okay? That's not the rule of thumb.

[00:15:34] However, sis, I don't think he liked you. Oh. I don't think he liked you. I don't think he liked you. I don't think he liked you. We were at the work convention. I asked how the family was. He went right back to work. I don't think he liked you. Oh, no. So are you the type to do an investigation if it's been so many months and you don't see a picture of them together? No, but I am curious. Okay. What happened to Jackie? Ugh. What happened to Jackie? Yeah, I'm going to go look. What happened to Jackie?

[00:16:02] I don't want to be like too far because it's not my business. Uh-huh. I just got to know. But she came to the corporate event last year and we haven't seen her since. Is she okay? Is she on the sick and shut-in list? Is she unwell? Uh-huh. Like what is going on with Jackie? I want to know. Now, I don't know anybody named Jackie who's married to Jackie, but like I just feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a good one. I want to ask this one. Oh. It says, why does somebody have money?

[00:16:32] Listen, you know, I-24 connects over to I-40. They were on I-40. Uh-huh. An 18-wheeler. Had a little fender bender. Now. Oh, you don't have no little one with an 18-wheeler. My mom was hit by an 18-wheeler. Oh, no. You know when it says, um, this is not funny. It's the oh, no. It's the oh, no. My mom is fine. Okay. Because I'm like, wait, no, oh, no. She's good. Okay.

[00:17:02] She's at home right now. Um, you know when it says like the wide turns? Yeah. Like, listen, that 18-wheeler ran right over the front of that car. Turned right and just ran right over. Like a tire went on and everything? All over the car. She said she saw it happening in slow motion. She said, I was trying to get my- I won't read the words. Okay. She's like, I was trying to get myself- To get- Out the passenger side. She crawled out the passenger side. Oh, no.

[00:17:31] Because, you know, it was turning right. It just happened. He didn't see her. Y'all, it says if you can't see my mirrors- Yeah, I can't see you. I can't see you. They scare me, though, for real. They do. So, I was an 88 Mike. That was my first MOS. Oh, bless your heart. For those that don't know, that's transportation. Yes, I used to drive trucks. The big ones. The big ones. Not a holiday. And I had a little booster seat in there because y'all know I'm tall challenged. Vertically challenged.

[00:18:00] I'm vertically challenged. So, I had the little booster seat with the little red button on the side because it vibrated a little bit. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I'm like, oh, God, please let me be able to see over the hood of this. Because if I can't see it with the hood, I don't know how far I got. Right. Those are some big trucks, though. Yeah. But we made it. I didn't stay in that unit long. Okay. But I did pass AIT. I did drive that truck. And we was- All the way to town. All the way to town. All the way to town.

[00:18:31] Oh, man. Okay. So, I'm glad mom is okay. She's good. The company paid, though, right? Yeah, she- Okay. All right. She's- To whom much is given, much is required. Absolutely. She was given much and we have required much since. And we have required- We have required much since. We have required much since. So, all right. I want to- Let's go with this one. What's one thing you wish you could tell your younger self? I wrote about this many, many times in my journey.

[00:19:00] Oh, my goodness. Come on, diary moments. Yeah, this is very much a diary moment. Very vulnerable moment as well. And I tell this actually to my daughters because I feel like it's good advice for any young lady who didn't have the model of, like, love or relationship in your house. There are flags. There are flags.

[00:19:28] And I'm blessed, or my kids are blessed today because they have, like, resources that wasn't necessarily available or maybe wasn't talked about as much when I was coming up. For instance, my daughter is a part of a nonprofit that actually teaches them how to identify these flags because teen domestic violence, I never would have thought that was a thing. I mean, and it happens, of course. It happens, yeah. But I never would have labeled it. And thinking about my younger high school, early college years, I'm like, oh, absolutely

[00:19:58] that's what that was. But identifying the flags and then what to do once you identify them. I would tell younger me, this person is not good for you because of this, this, and this. It is okay to let them go. Quickly. Quickly. Quickly. Because dealing with certain individuals, and I'm not saying that I was a saint. I probably was not. Okay. Again, I didn't have the ideal role model.

[00:20:27] So I very much played a role in the toxicity of the things. Yes. Some of the things. But exiting early would have prevented me from being a participant. It would have prevented some traumatic experience for them and for me. And then I think life probably would have played out because let me tell you, baby mama was not on my bingo card. But is it on anyone's?

[00:20:58] Unfortunately. Not like. Yeah. Some people, yeah. Yeah. If you plan to be a baby mama, y'all please comment below. I want to know, like, is there a strategy? I used to be an HR manager for child support. I mean, and this is real life. I am working with someone. And they planned their process. Because we're in a new day and age where, like, science plays a big part of it. Yeah, yeah.

[00:21:26] They're not even waiting for a human partner anymore, if you will, to do it like the traditional method. And when I say planned baby mama, I'm using that term, you know, loosely. She's planning to have a child without a partner. She's ready to do this. She's got time. She has. She has spent all the time she's been waiting. So, this happening here and now. I'm for this, by the way. I'm not. For you? For me. That was not on my bingo card.

[00:21:55] I just knew I was going to be, like, settled with this person. And this is going to be, like, my forever person. We're going to raise this child. I wanted to be, like, I was in love and I still am in love with the idea of modeling that relationship between husband and wife or partner and partner for my children. To let them know what real love is in the good moments and in the bad moments.

[00:22:19] Like, if I could go back to that younger version of me, knowing what I know now, I would ask. And this is going to sound crazy. Would ask to learn how to fight. Really? Yes. How do I manage conflict? You know what? That is underrated. Very much so. Okay. I enjoy a good argue. Okay.

[00:22:47] I enjoy a good argue. We're going to pause for a second. Lower the microphone just a little bit. Lower? Yeah. There we go. Okay. Cool. So, I enjoy a good argue. Okay. I did public speaking. I did debate. I'm here for the argument. I did none of this. I'm here for the argument. I am here. I have the facts.

[00:23:17] I have the addendums. I have the bullet points. Oh, gosh. I have when it was said, okay, according to Section 5.3 on May 26th, you said this, I said this, this is what I thought was happening, and this is where we all got lost. I can do that at work all day. I don't know how to do that at home. And then I also, but so what I found is because I was doing it so much for work,

[00:23:45] I was bringing that behavior to my relationship. Was it beneficial? No, not really. Okay. Not in the same sense of like, do I have to win this? Right. Like, I've already won you. We're together. I still like and love you after this. Yeah. So is this the, you know, the hill that I want to die on? Or, or do I need to be a little bit more strategic?

[00:24:14] Because at the end of the day, we're fighting for the same thing. We should be. Same goals. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of fighting each other, we need to be fighting the thing. The thing. Yeah. If you, I, or leave. Okay. Same goals or leave. Yeah. Same goals. Now, you know. Yeah. I know we talked about this, y'all. When we were in the, let's call it the green room. You know, I will, hello. I will bounce. I. Although that's not the ultimate goal.

[00:24:43] I just want to put that out there. That's not the goal. Okay. Okay. Okay. Unless it's, unless it's what's needed. Yeah. Because leaving is. For your safety. For their safety. For your safety. For their safety. Both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Absolutely. And I had a little situation some years back. I'm now happily married. Thank God for Jesus. But back, back in the day, like, mm-mm. Yeah. I don't live here no more. I understand. Maybe I hired a movers. Yeah. I hired a cleaning lady. Yeah. That's big of you.

[00:25:10] Because I want to leave your stuff better than how I found it. I didn't. Moved all my stuff out. Mm-hmm. Got into U-Haul. Me and my best friends, we drove from Nashville to D.C. Ta-da! D.C., I've arrived. Okay. Ten hours later. Phone's ringing. Hey, where's. I don't live here no more. Folded. Folded. The house is clean. Oh, my gosh. The dog's at the border. You are lovely. I'm not going to tear nobody's stuff up on the way out. I mean, that's what I'm saying, Zoe. See, when I say I was part of the problem.

[00:25:41] I'm not tearing. I had some. Y'all, now we're moving in deep in relationship. But I had someone many years ago. Again, I wasn't always lovely either. Okay. Right? I had to grow and say, like, when they are old, when I am old, or if something happened to me. Yeah. Or something happened to them. How do I want them to remember how I treated them? Yeah.

[00:26:07] I would prefer that it is, y'all, let me tell you what this man did. Yeah. And he had my stuff dry cleaned on his way out. Did. Okay. I would prefer that alternative versus which was one of mine. I had someone I dated who took all my stuff, every piece of clothing that I owned, including my army uniforms. Okay.

[00:26:35] Kevlar hat, covers, boots. Put it all in the tub. Yes. It was all in the tub. All of it was in the tub. I get home, I'm like, oh my God, ooh, it smells real good and clean. I'm smelling pine, pine salt. Yeah, that was me. Bleach. That was me. And everything. I was like, ooh, ooh, it's clean in here. That was me. Everything was in the, everything, everything, bed linen.

[00:27:05] Everything. Curtains, forks, everything. Everything was in the tub. Bleached out. I put it in the washing machine, though. It was a tub full of every piece of clothing. So I did the alternative thing. Yes, you did. I said, hey, I called. I said, hey, I noticed that you did a little cleaning. I noticed.

[00:27:33] I noticed that you did a little cleaning. I take it that we're no longer together. And it's cursing, cursing, cursing, whoopty, whoopty, whoop. Well, not then. I said, okay, well, listen, I hope you made it back to Alabama safe. And I'll chat with you later, okay? You had a calm head. Your stuff is in the tub. What is the anger going to do? I don't know. Besides get my blood pressure up. Yeah. Get my arteries clogged. Well deserved. Uh-uh.

[00:28:03] I'm proud of you. Uh-uh. I still got to live outside of this. Yeah, I'm proud of you. And I was young. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Younger me. I'm employable. I was employable. I was employable. You had stuff to lose. Younger me would not have been able to keep it together. I probably didn't have that much to lose. I was in the military. But you know, just your brain and the chemistry just. Yes. I'm very emotional at that. What's your sign? I'm a Virgo.

[00:28:34] September white. Yes. 10. Don't do that. What is that? What is that? What is that? We don't have to do that. Okay. We don't have to do that. We got lights, mics, cameras in action. So. I'm a good kind of Virgo though. I'm a good kind of Virgo. This is a judge free zone. Okay. Okay. But I did date one. Oh. I hope that was a good experience. I'm married to a Sagittarius. Me too. Really? Yes.

[00:29:01] Do you know that like the number one mass psycho people, murderer people, it's them. It's them. I believe. It's them. I believe. It's them. Now, my person is sane and wonderful. I love you. But I did find that information out along the way. Okay. Who has played a significant role in you becoming who you are? My husband. My husband. Let me tell y'all.

[00:29:31] So this is not my first radio. My first marriage was a complete and utter mistake. It's a debacle. Yeah. It was horrid. But. And I said, I never want to do this again. Who wants to do this? Right? Do this. It's like you taste a meal and it's like bad. But everyone else is raving about it. And you're like, y'all, it's not that great. I tried to. Yeah. Trust me. It's not that great. But mine was just prepared wrong. It was not prepared right. I wasn't prepared for it. Okay.

[00:30:01] So. That's honest. When I came to Charlotte, I got stationed in Charlotte and I actually, I met him. I was having one of the worst days of my life. I was that mad black woman at that school. Right? Because he's a speaker. Okay. Okay. He doesn't like to use the term motivational speaker, but I mean. He motivates and he speaks. He does motivate. So he was there to do that. But anyways. So of course that translates into our personal life.

[00:30:30] Of course. He stretches me and grows me and challenges me in ways that sometimes pisses me off. And then when I. But we thank God for Jesus. Yes. And then when I sit back and I'm like, why did that bother me so much? And it's like, you really haven't explored that area of yourself yet. So you never even thought to like. Yeah. Think about their goal that is uncomfortable. So by now, we've been together seven years.

[00:30:58] You would think I would be comfortable with being uncomfortable, but no. He always finds a way to. So he'll just come up off the dome. Like, so what you're going to do when you lead an army? Who are you? Like, what are you going to be? And I'm like, what do you mean? I have to have it. Like, I don't know. So then, you know, I started thinking like, oh, my God. Now what? I have to figure out. Who am I? Who am I? There's this quote I saw sometime back. Whatever follows I am follows you. Yeah.

[00:31:28] But what are the things that you are, that you're, that you become that are not like based off of someone else? Right. Or something else. Like, not a mom. Right. Because those are the things that like my titles. Yeah. Someone told me those are your titles. That's not who you are. Not a soldier. That's your career. Right. Right. But serving does become a lot of our identity. It does. Just to be perfectly honest. Like, you know, you have to poop in an entrenchment, in a hole with an entrenchment tool with somebody. Y'all get close quick. Y'all get close quick.

[00:31:57] Y'all get close quick. Y'all get close quick. Okay. You have to go on a port-a-potty that's in the middle of the field for two weeks. Yeah. And they haven't come out to change it. Oh. And you need your battle buddy to stand at the door. So don't nobody open it while you're in there as a hundredth person in there for today. Y'all get close quick. Y'all get close quick. I got PTSD. Quick. Okay. Yes. Or you get close quick. So it becomes a lot of who you are, how you resonate with people, how you introduce yourself.

[00:32:26] I am such and such, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Like, almost immediately. So he's on the right track. He is. And like I said earlier, I'm still trying to figure out, like, who I am and what I am. And I'm honestly enjoying the journey, experimenting with different things outside of my career. So it's fun. And maybe I'll have an answer by next year. I don't know. We'll see. Y'all, maybe we have our back next year.

[00:32:55] What's one piece of advice that you wish you knew sooner? One piece of advice. Health is wealth. Yeah. I feel like it can't be stressed enough. And granted, I feel like I had the best childhood ever. I knew no different. I was very sheltered. I didn't realize that the world was like an evil place until I became an adult. So I don't know if that's good or bad.

[00:33:22] Like, I'm just walking around like, I used to be able to walk to the store. Yeah. And I'm six years old. Like, there was not a worry in the world for me. You walked to the store. Now you're allowed to get to it. Yeah, no. You're not doing that. Okay. So I was six. I walked my brother to his daycare. And then I walked myself to school. And then it's like all my friends. And I had everything. Mom, can I go to Amber's house? Like, everything was good when I was growing up. I had my adolescent years were same thing. You know, I got to hang out with my friends at the mall. We all got our licenses together.

[00:33:51] And like, we did the girl things. We did proms. Everything was great. And we did, like, I had a lot of fun. We did, like, not have boundaries when it came to, like, snacks, sodas. Yeah. there was like fat back and everything and like the mac and cheese and like the southern cooking. Like, baby, no, you better eat. The oil from the. All the drippings, all of it.

[00:34:21] So, you know, again, I don't know any better. I'm eating it up. And when you go to granny house, baby, you look hungry. I mean, I guess I could eat. I guess I can. I mean, it's next to you cooking it. Telling kids, eat everything on your plate. Yeah. And it creates a mindset that I have to just eat. Have a happy plate. Right. And these are now that I know these are adult sized portions on my plate. Yeah. And those habits are hard to break.

[00:34:50] And I remember at 18 going to my physical for the military and they're telling me my cholesterol numbers are elevated. Didn't know what that meant. OK, cool. But ever since then, every time I go, they're telling me the same thing. And the doctor sat me down at the tender age of like 28, I think. He's like, listen. You're pre-diabetic. Your cholesterol is through the roof. We don't have to prescribe you these pills. And I was like, OK, for how long? He said for the rest of your life.

[00:35:19] For ever and ever, ever. What do you mean? Whatever do you mean? I was like, so there's no other way. He's like, yeah, there's a way. He said, I'm going to need you to, you know, change your eating. Hey, he gave me a list of things I need to start eating, some stuff I need to start doing. So diet and exercise. I said, I hear that on TV. It sounds cliche. But no, seriously. You got to change the way you eat. Or you're going to die. So I was like, oh, man. OK, this is serious.

[00:35:48] So I think had I known that early on or established some of those healthier habits as a child, it would have been easier to control. Right. As an adult. So and most of because I'm a personal trainer now. Right. So a lot of my clients, they're not suffering with activity. They don't have a problem with going for a walk. What is the food? It's what we consume. It's the food. It's the constant.

[00:36:16] It's our relationship with food because they're like, OK, I got a birthday in six months. I'm just going to salad all the way. Like, no, eating is not bad. I actually encourage you to eat. But it's what you're eating. The relationship with food. I think that is that is hitting the nail like on the head because people in so many cases and I used to be fall victim to this as well. Like, I'm like, I just have to eat it.

[00:36:44] It's it's it takes you back to the moment and all of the things. And then when I got married. OK, my spouse grows like vegetables in the backyard. Love it. OK, so gross vegetables. It's a lot of work, but love it. Love it. All the things, yada, yada, yada. And one day Christian said, listen, you know that the food is just fuel.

[00:37:11] It's just meant to fuel you. So here you are with this double cheeseburger. Oh, God. And I'm not talking about those patterns. I'm talking about the homemade one that I made for me. The thick ones. The grilled. OK, with this. Here you are with this and you want to be a dad and you want to, you know, have this family. Are you going to live to see it?

[00:37:40] And I'm like, oh, God. Because have you ever put like 87 in like a Mercedes? Have you heard what that sounds like? Like a John Deere lawnmower. That's what it sounds like. Right. Like we need the 93. We need to get stuff. Yeah. Eat the proper proportions. And then for what or the distance you're going to drive. Right. Right. If you're taking a road trip. Right.

[00:38:09] You're going to, in my road trip, your activity, if you're doing more than like an hour of exercise, you need to fuel your body for that. Don't just get out there and do that. OK. It ain't a Tesla, y'all. It don't just run on energy. Absolutely not. You know, I'm going to do one last thing and then I'm going to turn it to you. OK. To ask me a question. Ooh.

[00:38:35] If your life was a Lifetime movie, what would it be called? I've thought about this, actually. Really? I have. You are the first guest ever. 50 people that has ever said, I came ready for this. I thought about this because I have like two deployments under my belt.

[00:39:00] I've seen some of the shadier sides of military stuff as a young black female. No rank, you know. Yeah. Just young, dumb and stupid, naive. Scandal. OK. It's happening to the inner Olivia Pope. Yeah. But it'll be like army real small and then scandal. Scandal. Yeah.

[00:39:28] That sounds like the next trend. Scandal. Scandal. Because it's. Oh, man. Yep. Yep. Yep. OK. Scandal. Yep. All right. So I'm going to turn to you. OK. And you get three questions. Three questions. OK. And I'm bracing for impact. That could be bad. That could be bad. OK. OK. Question number one. What inspired you to get into podcasting?

[00:40:01] I did not want to be a podcaster. This was never, ever, ever on the road map. Really? Not even a little bit. How did we get here? Wasn't it a movie? Something like. How did we get here? Oh, was it Are We There Yet? Are We There Yet? Yeah. Yeah. So 2023, the company that I was at, we did a layoff in like April.

[00:40:29] There was a partner who was like loved and adored who left the firm in like May or June. Then we did another layoff in like July, August timeframe. OK. And several of my friends, people that I had worked with and like come to admire, they were impacted by the layoff. Meanwhile, though I had no knowledge whatsoever of said layoff, I had already put in my resignation. OK.

[00:40:58] And I was leaving and go to a different company. So I wasn't impacted in the same way. But I wanted to try to help my friends. So I'm like, y'all, I had like six or seven thousand people on LinkedIn. Again, like I'm going to create a little LinkedIn live and y'all come on here and I'll ask you all the questions that HR wants to ask, but maybe can't ask from a legal perspective. And we'll cover four things, who you are, what you do, what you believe and how you work. OK.

[00:41:27] And y'all come on and the world is just going to go around and everybody's going to get a job and life is going to be like I was foolish. And I, but that was the idea. Intent, right? The intent was there. So I like pitched it to several of them. And they was like, hell no, we won't go. Oh, OK. So I reached out to my friend, Nakisha Hicks, who was my first guest ever. OK. And I'm like, hey, I see you're in Nashville, too. Like, can you please come on?

[00:41:57] And she was busy and booked. She's always busy and booked. And she's like, y'all, come on. Oh. So she came on and then someone else came on and then someone else came on. And then some of those people later came on. And I did like a round of these, you know, interviews. Yeah. I think 12 or 13. And I'm like, OK, cool. My friends got jobs. I met some cool people. Did a little thing. I'm done. Mm-hmm. Because it was all virtual. OK.

[00:42:29] And so I go to this conference with my boss called Workday Rising. It's in like the fall of every year. And before we left, she had pitched like sponsorships for me. She was like, y'all, you need to be sponsoring Lee's show, OK? And I was like, I don't have a show? Y'all need to be sponsoring her podcast. I was like, I don't have a podcast? She's like, y'all, he needs sponsorships. Somebody here? OK, 2,000, 3,000. What you thinking? Oh, she put you out. So she put me out there. And I was grateful.

[00:42:57] But I'm like, if I ever did it again, it had to be in person. OK. Because I didn't want to feel like a Zoom call. Yeah. It's more personal, doesn't it? Yeah. Like get some time, eat some food, meet the person, you know, figure out they're taller than you thought. Like all the things. All the things. So fast forward, I didn't do any shows at all in 2024. OK. 2025, my book came out.

[00:43:23] And my team was like, yo, you need to redo the podcast. Like people are asking about it. It's a really good time. And I'm like, I would only do it if I could do it in person. So I traveled across the country 2025. That's awesome. And did the show in like Austin and New York and Charlotte and San Francisco and like the things.

[00:43:48] And then this year I did like Austin and Dallas and New York and DC and all the things. That's amazing. And now we're here. And now we have our own studio. Look at that. Yeah. And you know what's crazy is that some of the most beautiful things are born from us doing stuff we never thought we do or, you know, they didn't want to do. This was not on the bucket list. Yeah. One, because like people think it's easy to post videos like you, post workout videos,

[00:44:19] you know, talking headshots. Yeah. People think it's easy. The moment you post that video, the moment you say the thing out loud, whatever the thing is, even if it's not controversial, someone has an opinion about it. You're opening yourself up. Immediately. To public things. Whatever. To the public things. Right. So like 95% of the messages I get are like super positive. But then like I got a message. I got a message from this guy. I'm going to not say his name, but you know you.

[00:44:49] Okay. You know you. And he's like, all you ever interview are women. Like I would like to come on your show. And I'm like, well, that's exactly why you're not coming on the show, number one. But number two, I happen to like women. I came from one. You were great. Okay. Two, I interview men, black, white, Asian. There's no like. You're the boss. You interview who you are. There's that. But it's like, dude, just saying you're interested in coming on.

[00:45:15] You don't have to justify like your interest by tearing down somebody else. No one on this show is tearing down anybody besides people who are doing foolish things. Glad you said that. It leads to my second question, which I remember asking you this when you reached out to me. Like. Why? Well, it kind of relates. So how do you deal with those people that don't have like nice things to say? Oh, welcome it.

[00:45:46] Huh? Welcome it. Come play in this playground. Let's do it. I forgot who I'm talking to. Now you. Whatever you are going to say, I have heard it. I've heard that I'm too dark. Yeah. I've heard that I'm too short. I've heard that I'm too light. I've heard that I don't have hair. I've heard that the ball looks good. Like you don't know better. Okay. I've heard these things. Yeah. I've heard these things. So if you are going to come here and say the thing, come with something new.

[00:46:16] Yeah. Be original. Tell me something. Be disruptive. Okay. Say something that just, that has me in the car thinking, ooh, shit. That was a good one. Like, don't, don't say something somebody else has already said. Be your own self. Be, that's, that is my personal thought. Okay. Uh, that's just me. That's just me. Like I was picked on when I was little for being a church boy. Yeah. Uh, I play piano, organ, drums. I used to play for churches.

[00:46:45] Like you two saved. Now you're not saved enough. Like I'm, I'm, I'm here for the things. Like whatever it is, like I want you, but just be original. You got to say something to me. So there's nothing new to you right now. I love that. No, I'm in the army. Okay. I love that. My soldiers, most of which I think are really good people and are doing the things and say very nice and wonderful things. And then there are some who are like, not.

[00:47:14] And I welcome those things too. Cause as a matter of fact, since you've said this thing about me, let me tell you, I was really thinking about you. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay. I love, I, I, maybe I'll get there one day. I wouldn't quite say I welcome it. You know, I'm not, I'm, I don't welcome it, but I mean like sometimes I have time. But I am, I am here for it. Yeah. Because one, and this is me being weirdly me.

[00:47:41] If you can say it out loud to me and you're not hiding behind some like troll profile and like you can maybe send me a voice note on Instagram, whatever it is, send the message. We can get on, we can FaceTime. You need my number. Here it is. If you can do that, one, just tell me two things. One, you have some confidence. Okay. And I appreciate a person who's got some confidence. Even if it's coming off his leg. Even if it's not good.

[00:48:11] If you have the confidence and the, and where's my granddaddy, the cojones. Okay, granddaddy. To say it. Yeah. And also receive what comes back. I have respect for you. Okay, well that's the second part. And also. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you go first. I'm going to get my leg back. Okay, okay. So my third question. What you got? You know, with, with, with that, you know, getting your leg back. Some may see it as being like petulant or petty.

[00:48:41] Right. But, um, what would you tell your kids or your child? Um, they're experienced in this thing. You know, we all have bullies. Yeah. And bullying starts young. Yes. Like elementary school. Right. So they're experiencing this issue with this kid and bullying them. Her, her first thing is like, I want to go back at him. Like, what, what advice do you give to your kids that are experiencing something similar? Yeah, the army and I both believe in corrective action.

[00:49:11] No, we, I'm serious. We both believe in corrective action. The army and I both believe in corrective action. Corrective action. And if you allow people to misspell your name or to mispronounce your name or to, you know, you don't have to do it in an ugly way. Okay. But like, Hey, no, no, I was in a class. Okay. And I might regret saying this later, but it is the truth.

[00:49:40] Shout out to Daryl Stinson. Okay. From Emory's MBB. But we were in this class and this guy called him Darnell. He did a immediate correction. I'm sorry. It's, it's, it's there. Okay. Immediate correction. It was an immediate correction. And you know what? He ain't been Darnell since. Okay. Okay.

[00:50:06] So if someone is doing a little bullying situation to my daughter, to my friends, corrective action. Okay. Hey. Because there's a tactful and respectful way to have every conversation. Where your mom and your dad idiot. Okay. Tell them to come outside. Oh, that escalated. No, no. Your mom and the girl's mom. Where's your mom and dad? Tell them to come outside. Because one, I need to understand if this is the behavior that's been sponsored by the parents.

[00:50:36] Okay. That makes sense. If this is how your household runs, then I need to make sure that she's prepared to deal with that. Yeah. In that case. If this is not how your household runs and you are just as shocked as I am shocked, then that's different. Right. We get the kids together and we get them on a play date because now y'all friends. Okay. Okay. If the parents and I are aligned. Yeah. But if the parents are like, oh no, my baby can say whatever they want to say. Cool. Understood. Absolutely. Understood.

[00:51:06] Jasper, take this back there, but it's more. Okay. Little Johnny say something mean to you. Okay. Call him. But I'm just saying like, I want to meet them where they are. But we want to, corrective action is. Corrective action. And then also learning to kind of stand up for yourself kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're not going to have. Yeah.

[00:51:28] Now, if Jasper's the bully, which I would highly doubt would ever be the thing because that does tend to come from families that promote those types of things. Yeah. You know. But if she was the bully, you're getting a woman. Point of my period. Now, I don't like to. I don't believe in hitting children. It's just me. However, in my family, we have a long history of military. Okay.

[00:51:57] As a result, we have a long history of using acronyms. Oh, God. As a result, my uncle, shout out to Lieutenant Colonel Sharklet, came up with something called a TTA. Oh. Tantrum thrashing ass whooping. Oh. Always physical on your part. Mm-hmm. Never physical on his. Oh. Yeah, because he got a bad back. He was airborne aerosol. Got time for this.

[00:52:27] Okay. You can be spanking and being able to rip your arm out the socket. Yeah. Yeah, we can do things like spoons, overhead arm claps, picking cherries. Oh, my God. Oh, we're going to make you strong. Yeah. And then we're going to tell you things like get your arms up because you grew them. Uh-huh. They're yours. They're yours. Those things give you character. Okay. I absolutely agree. I've had to use a couple of those tactics. Yeah, I'm not going to be out here spraying my arm and hurting my bag. One good time. That's probably all you got to do. Had the school calling thinking I done beat you to death.

[00:52:58] One good time is all it takes because we ain't got time to be doing that scan. I ain't got time. Imagine your cheers. Yeah, no. That hurts. Worse than us. Sometimes just give me the woman. Or papers. I like to do papers. I have a goddaughter who told a lie. Now, she said it was a story, you know, because we don't say a lie. Lies are bad words. Okay. Yeah, I got it. But she told a lie. And I told her she was a lie warrior. So we're going to write a paper. Okay.

[00:53:27] On the consequences of a lie. Of a lie. A legit paper? Like. Legit pen and paper. Oh, that's cool. Okay. She. And we're going to sit at this table until we get 10 pages. Mama thought she could write in bigger letters. So she could get. She's not. Okay. She's like. And I. 57.5. Okay. No. So this doesn't count. We're starting to make over zero.

[00:53:56] So now we got to start over. Yeah, that doesn't count. Oh my goodness. And we're going to talk about cheating now too. Because you knew when you was writing big letters that this was no longer. You can skip to that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you for answering my question. So. We are. Almost at time. Okay. Any last minute things that you would like to share with the people? With the people? Well, actually, yes, I do.

[00:54:26] I love my new followers, if you will. Hey, y'all. Hey. I'm not really used to being out so open and public. My accounts are not private. However, I'm not used to such a large audience. Yeah. But I welcome anyone that wants to come in good, bad, or indifferent. If you just want to come in and be nosy, that's fine. If you come in and take something from my page, that's fine. If you're going to troll, we might have time. But just thank you to anyone that's out there that's just doing your thing and using me maybe

[00:54:55] as an inspiration or something that I've been through is motivating you. You know, I just, I love it. And I love the opportunity to be here. So thank you for having me. Thank you. In the words of Tabitha Brown, who I love. Y'all, I'm just somebody. Tabitha. Come on. Please. Please. Come have coffee with us, Tab. Okay. Come to Nashville. We have time. We have time. We have time. I hope you have the most amazing day, y'all.

[00:55:24] But even if you can't, in the words of Auntie Tab, don't you dare go messing up nobody else's. And that's really the genesis of how this all started. Yeah. If you're not having a good day, go find a corner. Eat a Twix. Drink a Coke. Mind your business. Mind your business. Okay. If you are having a good day, spread it. Because somebody else may not have one. But if you are here trolling, you know what? Let me do one sidebar.

[00:55:52] I was on Facebook Market, okay, the other day. Because I like Facebook Market. I do too. Was buying a little something and the girl was like, oh, here's the address. Come to find out the address was literally, I am 1524. They were 1515. Oh. Oh, you're saying? Same street. Okay. You never know. Never know. Who somebody is. Where someone is.

[00:56:21] The proximity to your life, your career, your things. Just be kind. And if you don't, just be unkind to yourself. Being kind is free. Being kind is free. Don't cost you a thing. It's free. All right, y'all. Well, listen, I hope you come back and hang out. We have like some insanely crazy episodes coming. We are bringing on a garbage man. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm.

[00:56:51] Oh. Okay. We're bringing on garbage man. Listen, garbage, garbage men, women, garbage people. If you live in a home, they know more about you than your coworkers. I'm sure they do. Oh, my goodness. They know when things are good and when things are not. They know the large purchases that you're making. So we're bringing on a garbage man. We have a mortician coming on. Okay. I'm curious. Like, is AI making the mortician business? Is it disrupting over there?

[00:57:21] What kind of things do you see? I didn't know that there were independent morticians, like independent consultant morticians. They just go around and support a bunch of little funeral homes and stuff like that. I didn't know that either. Learned it. So we've got a mortician coming on, a little school teacher coming on. Y'all send your kids there and they need a spanking. And we want to learn more about that. And so, yeah, we're here. Okay. Okay. So tune in. And that's it. See y'all.

[00:57:51] Bye.